PokeNirvash

Fred Luo, who isn't nearly as much of a rapist as you think he is.

I'm not too concerned about OPM changing directors and studios, but even if it's not as top tier as season 1, chances are very high that I'll enjoy season 2 regardless.

So you’re saying Nyx is the result of MI6 using Uraga’s research for their own means? How very interesting… DRAGONBALL SUPER Goku lost a fight, cue the dramatic orchestra music. Yes, let’s all blame Krillin. I highly appreciate your emotionally concerned response, Chi-Chi, but this still doesn’t make up for your bitchery fifteen episodes ago. He may have lost, but he did so with dignity. Pretending to be okay with his loss isn’t a good façade for you, Beerus. Piccolo is surprisingly chill about this. That poor ref. Oh, so that’s how Jaco got over there. Ouch, right in the knee! Shadow clones? I can’t… believe it. GUM GUM NETZOOKA. I love how super-confident Piccolo is right now. Oh crap, now he’s seeing the world all squiggly and stuff. TECHNICAL KNOCKOUT. I really do enjoy Jaco, I can’t see how Mochi thinks he’s the worst. Frost, you a busta. BOO THIS MAN. Vegeta’s got this. Shame Piccolo wound up being useless in the end, though. “Your voice annoys me.” Take that, Greg Ayres! TOP BILLING: Frost. DRAGONBALL Z KAI EXCALIBURRRRRRRRRRR~. Capsule Corp? Oh no, Bulma’s parents are there! Babidi only barely got cut off by the OP. Goku, you ignorant. “Oh man, now we have to stop them!” Goten’s a good boy, unlike that Tobi. Please punch that fucker in the face already, Goku. PEEK-A-BUU. Oh no, Buu’s become self-aware. Meanwhile, Mr. Satan turned a scared group of people into a pep rally. HAIL SATAN HAIL SATAN HAIL SATAN. Satan, you ignorant. Trunks, meanwhile, is just stupid. Oh boy, time for one of the most iconic parts. I know the dub changed the wording here, BUT THIS IS TO GO EVEN FURTHER BEYOND! When you bust a nut so hard the whole squad feel it. GRATUITOUS YELLING. You’re the man, Goten, deal with it. He can see into infinity. Ladies and gentlemen, Super Saiyan 3. Even Gohan can feel it, and he’s in another galaxy entirely. It’s fun watching Buu get hurt. JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE: STARDUST CRUSADERS In which Polnareff scares a police officer out of forcing him to pay an unreasonably high littering fine. I thought I saw something suspicious racing on that elevated freeway, but it was just a bunch of regular cars. Showering in safety is the best kind of showering. That’s a real nice view of the pool he’s got there. Room service, there’s a STAND user in my refrigerator! Well that was easy. OR MAYBE NOT. Has masochism gone too far? Aww shit he got his skin sliced off. If I were Polnareff, I’d chuck that doll out the window. NOBODY KNOWS~. And now bondage has gone too far. We Chucky now. Grotesque as fuck. Good job guys, making sure the loli’s out of danger. AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY. NOOOOOO NOT THE WINE. It’s only been five minutes. What a waste of perfectly good beer. Now he’s taking ballbusting to levels even those who desire castration that way think are too much! Oh Jesus that bulge. ::: FUCK YEAH POLNAREFF. SHIT COUNT: 2. And that’s why he’s the true protagonist. Not the kind of thing you wanna see in a toilet stall. Reality sues, and its name is the justice system. CHANNEL SURFING NO JUTSU. This scene appeals to me in ways you couldn’t imagine. Oh goddammit Kakyoin. You have now reached Channel Zero, where we interrupt this 24-hour marathon of Candle Cove for this message from our lord and savior, DIO. That was the best creepypasta ever, eat your heart out NoEnd House. NAME CHANGE OF THE WEEK: Devo the Cursed to Soul Sacrifice. TOKYO GHOUL ROOT A Welp, Shinohara’s dead, what’s the point in anything anymore. REVEEEEEEEEEEENGE!!! It’s raining CGI minor characters! Torching the animated franchise and running is all Aogiri Tree’s good for this arc, apparently. I still love Mado Jr. and her whip. SHIT COUNT: 1. Oh well, at least Marude’s okay. The visual nihilism these past few minutes has been pretty strong. Really, Kaneki vs. Amon is the only fight that really matters at this point. Kaneki’s motivations this season have been a total mystery. Okay, that’s a pretty sweet-looking power-up. Yeahhhhh I doubt that dildo-gun’s gonna do any good against the masked man. Welp, Hide’s doomed. SUCH NIHILISM. At least this fight’s still pretty cool, and the music ain’t bad either. If you have any heart, show, make sure Mado Jr. makes it out of there alive. DOUBLE KO, THERE IS NO WINNER. That guy over there is waiting for Godot. Oh hey, CCG members who are actually competent at not getting killed right away. Just one sight of a man without lips is enough to send the Ghouls running away like little bitches. It ate Yoshimura? Well that’s pretty fucked up. Whatever you’re hoping to find there, it ain’t gonna be. You failed to protect one of them, that’s enough to justify how much you suck right now. But hey, you made it there, so points for you, I guess? Oh hi Hide. SURPRISE POST-CREDITS STINGER. Turns out the One-Eyed Owl was a cute girl and also Yoshimura’s daughter, by the way he’s still alive somehow. HUNTER x HUNTER OH YOU GOTTA HAVE A MONTAGE~. I miss Bisky’s pigtails. Oh shit he brought decoys. You’re an idiot, Evil Blonde Todd 2.0, who wouldn’t like a free lunch? And then he screwed them over like Sugo would’ve screwed Asuna had Kirito not intervened. “Strip of Beach” sounds like an awesome card. BRAIN BLAST x2. It’s kinda sad that only now am I finally understanding the concept of trading cards. But even then, it’s too confusing for my mind and its preference for anime and engineering-related pursuits. Ah yes, the village of sickly ninjas. Turns out they were cards all along. FUCK YEAH JEWEL RING. Confound that Genthru, he drives me to drink! I’m having mixed feelings about this redhead girl. Say what you want, but Killua bickering with this chick just makes me smile. Well that turned out alright in the end. Awesome, cheat codes. Strip of Beach still sounds awesome. ;D That is one depressed NPC. Man, screw that Razor guy. Aw crap, it’s Big Bubba. LUPIN THE 3RD: THE ITALIAN ADVENTURE Lupin can’t make head or tails of these notes, but at least he’s trying to get somewhere. Finally, some English text! What the shit the text got all rainbow-colored and floaty. “I didn’t know Lupin had dreams!” Everyone has dreams, Fujiko. Oh hey, pixelated boobage. And look, teenage Rebecca with her natural hair color! LUPIN THE VOYEUR. This is all too deep for me, but I can totally vouch for the whole “create a world” philosophy. Oh no, Nickelodeon slime! Huh, so his name isn’t Wataru after all. It’s Lupin’s first dream, of course he’s gonna act all weird because of it. The secret to immortality is writing a book containing everything about your consciousness, apparently. This is so fucking weird and complicated, I love it. ;D Giant insects, giant insects everywhere! Those look like barbiturates. Well this got depressing in a hurry. What beautiful visual direction. I love the license plate gag, another thing that means more to me than the rest of you. Holy shit has Nyx been driving all day? The password is “The Dream of Italy”. Now for some literal torching of the research and running. What a badass, that Lupin the 3rd. It was an arranged car crash, the worst kind! So much for having her sign the divorce papers, then. Ah yes, the Itachi tap of affection. A BULLET HIT LUPIN, SHIT JUST GOT REAL. Fuck yeah, he’s recreating his famous run! Fool, Lupin doesn’t need legs to escape! See, I told you he didn’t need to escape with his legs. And then MI6 killed them both. Zenigata, you stubborn fool. Dammit, I was hoping his real name was Justin Time! All in all, it was a downer of a midseason finale. Are the police just allowed to run STOP signs like that? NARUTO SHIPPUDEN At this point, I’m not sure if he wants either peace or war. DÉJÀ VU I’VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE. Well whaddaya know, Naruto’s immune to the Talk no Jutsu, as I expected. Peace is only impossible if you want it to be. That’s a really comfy-looking abode he’s got there. “I wonder what my main character’s name should be,” he said as he looked at the narutomaki slice in his king-sized bowl of ramen. She did, and you did, but not under the circumstances you would’ve liked. And then he self-inserted himself into the book. The ability to use words in such a manner that the recipient looks deep into themselves and rediscovers the humanity behind their evilness. That is the power of the Talk no Jutsu. And it’s not bad, not bad at all… Time for a flashback to… not-so-good times. Oh hey it’s the GANTZ ball. That image looks like a homoerotic fanfiction just waiting to happen. FORESHADOWING FLASH. Well that’s certainly a thing. OUTLAW STAR Aisha a cute. A CUTE! Huh, so Swanzo isn’t a robot. I’m not sure if he’s speaking while biting his lip or if they forgot to paint in his mouth. MENACING GENE. The color should be red, so it can go faster than all the others. “I’m not mad.” Yeah, but you definitely look it. Holy shit Jim is short. Aisha’s name still sounds nothing like I thought it should’ve been pronounced. Serious answer, comical reaction. MOOD WHIPLASH 101. Well that escalated quickly. Yes, Jim, we know she’s a Ctarl-Ctarl, tell us something profound for once. It’s just so easy to understand why everyone loves this chick. All that buildup, and it was for nothing. Oh no, why are they blue? “MY GOD IT’S FULL OF STARS!!!” Artificial or not, they’re still pretty flowers. Melfina is just too adorable. <3 SHIT COUNT: 2. SUDDENLY AISHA, AGAIN. Melfina may be best in this show, but Aisha comes in a close second. Well that was anticlimactic. She’s outta calories? Someone get this girl a Derodoro Drink! FUCK YEAH CHINA BUFFET. A very close second. ;D She’s flexing her muscles for you, ya giblethead. ELECTRO SHOCK. Seriously, just one over infinity away from being tied with Melfina. Gilliam, you’re great. I don’t know how to feel about this Fred guy, just from the way you’re talking about him. Something tells me this he did something to Jim and Jim does not wanna relive it. Poor Aisha, but hey, she brought it on herself, and that’s why she’s only number two. COWBOY BEBOP Faye’s introductory scene is just perfection. Eleven floors of nothing but bathrooms, I love these background signs. You gotta love space gambling. Swallowing cigarettes and poker chips, Spike is a grade-A madman. I just love a protagonist who can kick ass like it’s nobody’s business. Big Shot always comes on at the most convenient times. I like to think she actually was descended from Romanies, but played that slice of heritage up as a sort of bluff. The last time someone listened to their dreams, they got shot by MI6. You gotta love these missile animations; one of the very few things worth watching Eureka AO for. (Emphasis on “very few”.) Hopefully they get some cash after this go-round. COMMERCIALS AND EXTRAS You’re free to cry all you want, but I for one am excited for season 2 of IBO. Those singing ingredients for Chobani will never not disturb me. Holy fuck Beth is just the worst. Huh, Toejam and Earl is still a thing. Eh, at least the dancing couple up there looks happy. “You cannot cheat death.” Shut the fuck up, you’re not in Final Destination. #NotMyJuniorBaconCheeseburger. Taco Bell’s ideas for alternative shells are getting worse all the time. LEFT TWIX AND RIGHT TWIX ARE THE SAME GODDAMN THING YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. These Kia commercials with the hamsters are getting weirder all the time. MUSIC VIDEO OF THE MOMENT: Between this and him coming out as a socialist, I think Demarco’s got brain problems. In all fairness, he only took out that gym because he was being treated like shit and those treating him as such deserved to die like the little monkeys they are. “This will be the real deal” indeed, that beat looks better than the rest. Is a fried egg taco shell really that stupefying? I can’t wait for Vegeta to show why he’s the greatest. BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD IS THE WORD.

I'll only be happy with it if they kill off Riddhe, on-screen or off, I don't care.

Tonight on Toonami, Piccolo steps up to take Goku's place after his ring-out by Bizarro Frieza, our heroes cook up an impromptu plan to keep Babidi and Buu from destroying the Capsule Corp building, Polnareff finds himself trapped in a hotel room with the Devil (just like that movie, 1408), the real One-Eyed Owl shows up and wreaks total havoc upon the CCG attack forces, Genthru meets up with Team Tzesguerra with the likely intent of screwing them like [DISGUSTING SAO REFERENCE REDACTED], Lupin's investigation into the late Wataru Uraga's notes takes him to some very weird places, Naruto finally gives Nagato the answer he's held off on for far too long, the Outlaw Star crew return to Blue Heaven only to find an irate Aisha Clan-Clan waiting for them, Spike and Jet take a trip to Space Vegas for some good ol' fashioned gambling, and Eren lets Reiner and Bertholdt know just how much he hates them. 8:00 - Dragonball Super #33 - Surprise, 6th Universe! This is Super Saiyan Goku! - TV-PGLV 8:30 - Dragonball Super #34 - Piccolo vs. Frost: Stake it All on the Special Beam Cannon! - TV-14 ... 11:00 - Dragonball Super #34 - Piccolo vs. Frost: Stake it All on the Special Beam Cannon! - TV-14 11:30 - Dragonball Z Kai #133 - Hold Majin Buu in Check! Limit: Super Saiyan 3! - TV-PGV 12:00 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders #8 - The Devil - TV-MAV 12:30 - Tokyo Ghoul Root A #11 - Deluge of Flowers - TV-MAV 1:00 - Hunter x Hunter #67 - 15 x 15 - TV-14 1:30 - Lupin the 3rd: The Italian Adventure #13 - The Dream of Italy, Part 2 - TV-14V 2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #174 - The Tale of Naruto Uzumaki - TV-PG 2:30 - Outlaw Star #5 - The Beast Girl Ready to Pounce! - TV-14L 3:00 - Cowboy Bebop #3 - Honky Tonk Women - TV-14LV 3:30 - Attack on Titan #34 - Opening - TV-14LV

Hunter x Hunter 1999 30 Made in Abyss 12

Any ending theme with animation by Norimitsu Suzuki. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qe3sjcFhjYM He went uncredited for the last one, but you can just tell that's pure him.

Girls und Panzer 7 Please Teacher! 8 Guyver: The Bioboosted Armor 15

Rewatched Guyver: The Bioboosted Armor 14.

In the end, the community mattered to them more than what brought them there in the first place.

Either that or they really are cycling out Shippuden.

Hunter x Hunter 1999 29

Yeah, but Toonami doesn't air live action. Hell, since season 5 of Jack finished, they barely air Western stuff anymore. So while you're right in that the Punisher being on Netflix with a bunch of anime has Toonami beat out in appeal, it's still an unfair comparison compared to using Kuromukuro as an example instead.

Maybe you should try comparing it to other anime as opposed to everything, because of course Netflix is gonna have it beat every time.

Several thousand steps up from "soiling the sheets", I'll give you that. applause

Manga got bought out by Anchor Bay, which is why they were the ones to release that Eraserhead baby of a boxset for GITS:SAC.

That's not Kaiji.

Ninja I will fucking fight you. Besides, everyone knows Sin: The Movie is the worst Japanese-American co-production.

Oh yeah, I watched Skirt no Naka wa Kedamono Deshita 11 last night.

They're at the very least related.

Here, have a Vimeo link. Because Youtube's not the only video streaming site around.

Yeah, but a bunch of other shows were taken down as a result of the first cut, not just Bebop. I highly doubt they're gonna cut short a rerun at 3AM at a point where the block isn't going until 6AM, no matter how much you whine about it.

I’m taking a different approach this time. DRAGONBALL SUPER Did Universe 6 hire this announcer or something, because he definitely sounds biased in favor of them. Oh well, at least his “no free food around Goku” quip was good and also surprisingly accurate. Funny how the Winnie the Pooh expy shouts “Pooh!” whenever he fires his mouth blasts. Jaco is one of the best characters in this show and you can’t convince me otherwise. Personally, I’m surprised Goku won without using Kaioken, let alone using one of his five Super Saiyan forms. I agree with everyone, Champa is as sore a loser as they come. Huh, I didn’t even notice Satan brought his dog along. “Let’s have a good fair fight.” Not a minute onscreen, and GregAyres!Frieza already sounds suspicious. :-\ I think Ridley Scott’s gonna sue somebody. But which Frieza death was more painful: getting sliced into pieces and exploded, or just getting exploded? Champa is so ignorant of his own warriors it makes me wonder if he even knew anything about them at all. Kinda disappointed that it was Bizarro!Frieza who said “Oh, bother” and not Winnie the Poohole, but hey, references. It appears the 6th Universe Saiyans are ignorant too. You a dirty liar, Goku, that ain’t Super Saiyan Blue. Tell me more about this “fateful duel”. Fall down seven times, get up eight. Unless you ring out, otherwise you’re gonna be staying put for a while. TOP BILLING: Goku. DRAGONBALL Z KAI I have a feeling this episode isn’t gonna bother using the word “bastard” like so many others have in the past. Bulma, you need to learn a little something about power levels. I love and appreciate that Videl has hope that Gohan’s alive, which he is. That backwards pratfall looks like it should be familiar. EXCALIBURRRRRRRRRRRRR. It’s way too heavy to be called a sword, looks like it’d fit in right at home in Berserk. Now’s not the time to be irrationally angry, kids. GOHAN’S STILL ALIVE YOU IGNORANT FUCKERS. And then everything got sketchy like an architectural concept drawing. I’m sure some of these people enjoyed voicing these expendable citizens. So much chocolate, even a chocoholic would think it’s too much. FREEZE FRAM BONUS OF THE WEEK: One of those chocolates has a terrified look on its face. You should’ve listened to the chocoholics, Buu. Dammit Goku why are you smiling. “What’s going on? Why am I holding this thing of water?” Popo looks so short compared to Dende now. It’s all about checks and balances. It’s a good thing Chi-Chi’s unconscious, because she’d be freaking out even more than Bulma. And then surprise Dragon Ball flashbacks. Huh, so those people are rich folks, no wonder they were such assholes. They’re so getting blown up when Babidi finds out they aren’t in West City after all. Oh crap I forgot, Bulma’s parents are still there! JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE: STARDUST CRUSADERS REPLY TO ANGEL 1: “Why is he so evil and sexy, it makes me hate myself.” Jonathan’s body from the neck down, duh. If DIO has anything to fear, it’s gotta be the sun. That’s an oddly land-friendly staircase for such a large ship. Polnareff, you ignorant. Joseph is unimpressed with all your monkey business. MY SHIP IS MOVING ON ITS OWN! “Oh no, why am I blue?” And then the stowaway did a little investigating of her own. I wouldn’t trust an ape intelligent enough to know how to fap. Let’s see how Turner S&P handles this shower scene… YOU’RE WATCHING SERIAL APIST 3: THE JOJO MEMER EDITION. “Oh hey, free porn.” I don’t think I need to say how creepy this is, Angel and Foley have a pretty good handle on that sort of thing from both the “creeping on innocent girl” and “2D lolicon is wrong” angles. GAH MY SEXY SHOULDER. That fan moves like a Disney character, making its assault more hilarious than it should be. And then it melted into the walls. Here, have some gratuitous ass. WHAT A TWEEST. “Look at me, I am the captain now.” That’s a creative-looking Rubik’s Cube, AND WHAT A WASTE IT WAS. FUCK YEAH JOTARO. Crazy and unpredictable are the reason STANDs displaced Hamon, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it only escalated from here. So they didn’t stop in Ho Chi Minh City after all. Huh, surprise eyecatch. DIO must feel disappointed, knowing his biggest fangirl is an old hag. Welcome to Singapore: your dirty chewing gum isn’t welcome here. It’s not cool to steal Jotaro’s catchphrase, Polnareff. I was expecting that doll to randomly open its eyes, but I guess not. TOKYO GHOUL ROOT A Tell me about Eto and Tatara; why do they wear the masks? You think they gave Seido a dildo to use as his Quinque on purpose? Because I think they totally did. Devil Ape has no idea how powerful Law 44 of Anime Physics really is. REPLY TO ANGEL 2: “And then Waluigi showed up with a plasma gun because why the hell not, I guess.” Eh, he’s not thin and disturbing enough to be a Waluigi. Man-grel? That’s a terrible pun. LITERALLY NO U. Well that kinda killed all the tension of his death, as awesome as it was. Oh shit, a random old lady. “My voice actor’s in the slammer, that means I’ve got nothing to lose by doing this!” Well at least her death had a little bit of self-sacrifice to it. And then they lived, only to die all over again. Nice of you to finally be doing something, Kaneki. Don’t disturb the ax-crazy femboy when he’s in his happy place. And it’s nice of you to join us, ghost of Mado. Kaneki’s just here to kick ass and take names. And he’s all out of ass for the moment. I actually miss black-haired Kaneki. That’s a nice-looking city out there. When all else fails, throw a blockade at ‘em. For all this show’s failings, at least its visual direction is pretty good. Oh hey, flashbacks to the various Anteiku staff. I feel like the explosion of blood from under his mask was a little much. “I knew I was too old for this shit…” Welcome to the afterlife, Yoshimura. The CCG wins out, but what of the remaining two episodes? So much for Hide and Touka being useful, even Kaneki got in a couple of shots. Oh yeah, Amon still needs something to do. And then a bright flash lights up the sky and a meteor plummets to the Earth. One eye, open mouth, freakier limbs than normal… Yeah, that’s gotta be the genuine article. BARGAIN BIN STEVE BLUM NOOOOOOOOOO. HUNTER x HUNTER I like that the disguise the one Kiriko is using here to guide Killua was the same one he used to guide the others to the exam site in the ’99 anime (currently on episode 28). “Dick Sakura”, is that anything like “Stupid Naruto”? Wow, he actually did do some shopping there. To think of all those guys in that group, only the black guy lived. Oh hey, Zepile’s here! And then Killua lived up to his name and killed everybody with kilowatts. That had to be the shortest Hunter Exam ever. According to my expert katakana-reading skills, a good chunk of those people on the list are dead, and apparently Chrollo found his way into the game. Oh yeah, Bisky had no idea about the Phantom Troupe’s leadership. Huh, my wife and those other guys managed to get back in the game pretty quick. So that’s what he meant by “east”. That’s pretty damn deep of you, Chrollo. The last several times I’ve seen Hisoka he’s had green hair (again, ’99), but I don’t really feel any weirdness seeing him with the proper color now. Kurapika always plans ahead. This man needs some alcohol, pronto. “Janken Rock” sounds like a good name for a band. And then they visited a secret government building. Golden Shiny Tenten with no pupils is one of the rarest ninja training cards, unlike this dude. Bisky’s gonna teach these kids how to play strip poker. Oh yeah, it’s that douche. And yet he’s still better than Genthru. TRADE: SUCCESSFUL. Never be greedy while gambling, children. Rolling dice is serious business, especially if it’s 20-sided. CAUSE I’M THE TAXMAN. And thus marked the beginning of Killua’s gambling addiction. LUPIN THE 3RD: THE ITALIAN ADVENTURE On one hand I like the lipstick traces on those cigs, but on the other that’s just way too many cigs. Rebecca can hardly make heads or tails of that notebook. If only I knew Italian. Oh crap it’s MI6. Goemon must not have anything going on in his schedule, if he’s actually showing up this episode. Robson Zuccoli always plans ahead. So that book’s basically the insane ramblings of an deceased Japanese man. You gotta love word puzzles. Man, MI6 are real pricks here. Lupin likes a challenge when it comes to getting past security that tight. And apparently that’s why he called Fujiko. SUDDENLY ZENIGATA. The treasure’s clearly his wife. It might be inferior, but I still love the Italian soundtrack, especially when the jazz kicks in. They really suck at making the voices on the other end of their phone devices sound believable; by that I mean the dub crew, of course. SHINYA OHIRA SAKUGA SPOTTED. Lupin characters are the best at dodging bullets. Zenigata’s the only one who has a feeling Lupin’s behind all this. GUESS WHAT, MY ASSUMPTION WAS RIGHT. And so Goemon finally meets Nyx. FUJIKO’S TITS. I did not expect her prey to have a Southern accent. Turns out he duped not just Nyx, but literally everyone in MI6. Oh man, the whole cavalry’s here. And in comes Robson with the getaway vehicle. That’s cold, Robson, stone cold. HE’S HULKING OUT. It’s only a priority one if Mizuho Kazami says it is. I never knew I needed to watch Berserker!Nyx in action as much as I did. That notebook is serious business, apparently. The deceased Japanese man was Rebecca’s old boyfriend all along? I might’ve known! Clearly he’s one of their members, Goemon, don’t you pay attention? Oh right, you’re not even in this season half the time. BELIEVE IN LUPIN. It’s none of your business, Zenigata, no matter how much you want it to be. Because it ain’t a real investigation unless you’ve got a magnifying glass. If you don’t like this show, then I pity you with extreme prejudice. >( NARUTO SHIPPUDEN Ah, slow-motion, where the rain is nearly spherical. I assume he means the people who ostracized him. Way to kill the mood, Orochimaru. ITADAKIMASU~. He killed him with a single stare, now that is gangsta. “Hate had caused me to go berserk.” Yeah, hate tends to do that. That and he loves thinking about boobs. Visual jutsu are too hax, so maybe that “Rinnegan causing peace” thing has some legs to it. Those outfits look like they inspired the Akatsuki’s garb. Because screw the Mist and Cloud, am I right? HANZOOOOOOOOO. DANZOOOOOOOOOO. I know I should be taking this seriously, but damn that eyeshadow. <3 Well that happened quicker than I expected. “MY LEGS! MY JUTSU!” He’s awakened his hardcore edgy side. Amazing how he aged a whole decade in just a few minutes. These episodes end way sooner than I expect them too. That must be the power of Naruto-level pacing. OUTLAW STAR So I assume all the episodes start with little expositionary segments on the technology of this universe? Those arms are the exact reason Outlaw Star’s director was hired to helm IGPX. It’s a nice-looking ship, sure, but it ain’t the one that was advertised. Oh hey, it’s that symbol on my wallpaper for this month. And then things got really psychedelic on the computer’s end. Holy crap that’s a weird effect he gave her voice. Even the computer’s in love with Melfina. Oh goddammit Jim. FUCKIN’ PIRATES. Here, have some gratuitous Melfina nudity. “She’s nuts to get wet,” they changed it to on CN. (Not their wisest edit…) Heh, he said “anal”. That sure sounded like a stock sound effect. BREAK INTO THE DOCK. Don’t mess with the vacuum of space, natch. Huh, so Melfina is communicating telepathically. That’s weird. Gene Starwind never plans ahead, but he’s decent at improvising. SHIT COUNT: 1. Thanks for the unintentional assist, MacDougalls. Between the multiple rings per ear and the fluffy mullet, Ron is not nearly as threatening as I thought he’d be. His brother, meanwhile, needs to calm the fuck down. Didn’t expect Gene to recognize that ship from his PTSD nightmares. True, Hilda is hot. “…you damned dirty outlaws!” OH YEAHHHHHHHH. Prepare for the basics of CQC! Take that, old man. Well shit, that ain’t good. That really ain’t good. Well, at least it wasn’t a pointless sacrifice. Not now, Gene’s mourning. TITLE DROP. Okay I assume the first girl in that hyperrealistic ED montage is supposed to be Melfina, but I’m stumped on the rest. COWBOY BEBOP It kills me how Hakim went from looking like Ichigo to a barely light-skinned Blaxploitation character. I watched this episode so much when I was younger, I could probably recite it from memory if I had Ben’s phony intellect. I really should’ve used that Welsh Corgi comparison that one time Dandy brought in an alien worth only 2 Woolongs. It saddens me that this is the only time Want it All Back is used in the show. (Really, I could say that for most of the memorable songs for any episode they appear in.) Speaking of kids, let’s see what the former protagonist of Victory Gundam is up to. Is “seems that way” all this guy can say? (Bullhorn.) I love that old man and his fortune-telling bird. “I knew that. I was testing you.” Great line. ;D SHIT COUNT: 3. How ironic, that they crash landed in front of the police station. Still one of my favorites after all this time. THIS WEEK’S TOONAMI EXTRA PLUS VARIOUS LOCAL AND NATIONAL COMMERCIALS That new Uncharted game looks pretty good, I can only hope the badass female leads aren’t misandrists. I prefer my burgers with good ol’ Ohio tap water, thank you very much. Alternatively, raspberry-flavored light lemonade if I’m eating out at Five Guys. Why are Rick and Morty being chased by what looks like Brook meets the Crow? I wouldn’t mind Goku advertising Coke Zero, even though I prefer water and raspberry lemonade as a burger-adjacent beverage. Flatliners doesn’t sound like a movie that should subject their protagonists to existential horrors, just have them deal with the consequences of one flatlining session gone horribly wrong and be done with it. “Water! My one weakness!” I am offended by this anti-cable commercial, sure I may like having more than just local stations and Netflix, but I am not that grossly stupid. I still have no idea what Replicants are supposed to be, though that’s probably because I’ve never really seen Blade Runner. And that’s why I never use my cell phone for anything besides making calls. Big guns: the most literal metaphor of them all. I only just found out this month that the original IT adaptation was a miniseries instead of a movie, does that mean I have brain problems? When all else fails, just blame Krillin. “It’s 6 A.M. Do you know where your children are?” Because Interdimensional Cable 2 kinda sucked, especially when the family gave Jerry shit for wanting to take them to the zoo. Like, what the fuck was that? ??? That cat’s been hiding in your house for 75 years. Remind me never to channel surf at [as]’s place. If you hate bullying with a passion, then you might be a future Marine. Don’t fuck with Papa Piccolo. [i think angel’s gonna sue somebody]