Mix

Is it? Wouldn't it be more in line with fraud or larceny? (I am genuinely asking)

Well, you know how dine and dash works, right? Same principle applies

For a politician, I have to imagine the next best thing to winning an election is watching the person who defeated you get indicted.

What do I think? "I only paid them because they got loud," sounds like something a candidate for president would say to his lawyer.

She sounds hot

I mean...that's honestly how I made my first adult swim account...I thought it was....well, you know

Thank you. I hope I can count on your vote.

Not really, I still have my twitter account. That's all the porn i'll every need. That's also how I found out me and Ted Cruz follow the same porn actresses.

And to be honest, I'm glad it happened now 'cause it gave us all the kick in the pants we needed to do what we should have done a long time ago. For my part, it took me a week, but I've finally deleted all my old porn website accounts, comments, testimonials, and verification photos. I also found and removed some potentially ruinous Craigslist personals that were somehow still up.

You don't have to be there, it doesn't matter that you're the only thing connecting them. They don't have to speak the same language, they're family. They can share some tea and just look at each other. It'll be a fun two hours for everybody in the room who didn't grow up with the Internet or a stable government.

Happy (or whatever emotion you prefer) birthday

Dude, i'm still in my early thirties and this is happening to me. I'm more angry about this than I am about losing my hair.

Tried wives That's what I'm calling them now Thanks ghostie

Why do you know so much about Madonna?

Oh, I was just messing around. The owl did get to me though. That silent flight shit is witchcraft.

Fucking fuck you fucker Fucking traumatised over here Fucking coping mechanism innit

Fucking shitty shitty place. Fucking owls are huge btw. Fucking can't hear them fly inches above your head. Fucking bear signs all over the place, maybe throw up some owl signs maybe fuck.

Oh, but you don't understand. I use the very best premium duct tape. Made from all natural free range duckt.

something fun

I saw it when I was eleven. I recently re-watched it and realize now that it's not a romantic comedy. I was laughing at scenes that weren't meant to be laughed at. Side note: at the end when she comes to his window and tells him she'll play him one on one for his heart. As a kid I thought that was the coldest line ever. Watching the movie now and seeing that scene as an adult has not changed my mind. Not necessarily because of the line itself, but because...she said that shit to an NBA player. She had no chance. She got dunked on. But she got her man.

I'm holding mine together with tech-tape. (it's duct tape >.>)

Take long Uber rides. Those drivers love to chat and a long enough conversation could result in a new friend........or enemy

I found this old clip that encapsulates how i've perceived the presidential race so far.