Codename: Jackass

People who start mowing or using machinery at 6:00 in the morning on a Saturday should be placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Quite standard, really.

It's not a real lawn until code enforcement puts a tag on your door and you get chiggers from walking to the street.

It's the only sip for me.

Once per season.

That first sip.

Chic-Fil-A is so bland, though.

YES, EXACTLY.

Please be quiet and leave... meeeeeee.... STOP GIVING ME HOPE

@Poof

They're strange folk.

Sometimes you just know these things. I myself have a Tammy as a neighbor.

Mid-50s, overweight, pants that are too tight, unkempt greying hair, wrinkly, flabby arms, chain smoker, alcohol problem, twice-divorced, hates her kids. Right?

I want the okay life.

I don't like this. I have fear.

I listen to Converge, Trap Them and Dillinger Escape Plan when I work out.

Spiders are cool until they get on me. Or if they're venomous. If I see a brown recluse or a black widow in my house, it's dead. gg no re spider.

This ain't my first fantasy football rodeo. A couple years I had a team up by 30 and my opponent had one player left on Monday Night Football. That player was Antonio Brown. Antonio Brown proceeded to score over 40 points that game. Also I just lost by over 100 points in my money league last week. Granted, our point system is insanity, but still, I was projected to win by a comfortable margin and barely put up half of what I was supposed to.

ALL WOMEN ARE WHORES I'LL NEVER GET A QT VIRGIN GF THEY'RE ALL BUSTED ROASTIES FUCKING CHADS AND STACIES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'M SUCH A NICE GUY WHY WON'T YOU NOTICE ME

Oh and If I start to tell you anything, please don't pay attention That's not really me in there, I would never do that Just go back to the idea of me Go back to that idea Can you even hear me over here? Everything absorbing liquid twitching forming something terrible The sores are gone And you can hardly tell now but There was someone else who isn't here anymore

Ravens Steelers Jets Eagles Saints Washington Chargers Vikings Sex Panthers Titans Rams 49ers Broncos Patriots Cowboys Bears

I know Sam Hyde is king retard but I think this wraps the incel issue with a bow.