[classic swim]

He snuggles with his wife and they eat General Tso’s Chicken in the bed together.

I didn’t think the brunch guy was that bad for her until they made an episode 40 years later where he’s got pictures of her everywhere. Most of Homer’s other flings are also kinder and more appreciative tenfold, while every Marge encounter is her being giddy with a blatant douche.

Annoying as hell that AV cables can’t be interchangeable and I have to buy the same thing again just to hook my other console up to my Magnavox. Yellow, white, red. Same shit. Same holes. Still have to go all the way to the other side of town because this is the one fucking thing that has to be manufactured differently each time.

... • 2001-2005 The War on Terror, along with Mayor O’Donovan’s eventual leave from public office would change Liberty City as we know it. A ban on Motorcycles would be lifted... but Ammu-Nation stores were soon outlawed. Possession of firearms became illegal under O’Donovan’s successor, Julio Ochoa.

Throws tomatoes at the strippers he doesn’t like.

Follows me into the strip club to start a food fight.

The Cheetah Lounge tried charging him a twenty dollar admission fee and he said “oop.. you better shuck on my giblets.”

Taught ghostrek how to do the Martian Hop.

Homer should’ve fucked Lurleen.

Likes to take an Uber from his house to Antarctica and when the Uber says “ok that’ll be 27 thousand dollars” he’ll go WAAAAAAILLLLLLLLLLL

Put on a hibachi chef hat and a novelty mustache and walked into Cracker Barrel’s kitchen so he could throw the Angel Food cake at all the other chefs.

He broke up with the woman in Virginia after she undid his boxers in the bed to inserted chocolate bonbons in his butthole while he slept.

Met a woman in Virginia who’s going to give his fuzzy naked buttcheeks a Kudasai massage.

Convinced ghostrek to dance with the turkeys in the woods.

I could bring Jesus Christ into this pawn shop and pluck his cunt hairs right in front of them and they still won’t take shit. In a building full of infinitely useless fucking garbage. But they’ll take Packard’s anal beads for 240 dollars.

————— ... • 2001 Lazlow had spent the entire time hosting the wildly popular Chatterbox. It had been on LCFR for years, but only since July ‘01 has it been successful enough to earn its own station. Chatterbox would shut down the following year due to Lazlow’s dabble in payola.

... • 2001 Saint Mark’s neighborhood was never the same. The locals didn’t like Joey & Anthony the way they loved Don Salvatore. The only way La Cosa Nostra could save face in Liberty was having the Gambetti family absorb what’s left, and making Jon Gravelli the last charming old face of the Commission.

Wrote a fanfic where Woody Woodpecker’s the one that says “WELCOME TO MY WORLD, BITCH!” at the end of Freddy vs Jason.