[classic swim]

Remember when people were upset with Obama for wearing a tan suit?

I used to call my thing Shirley.

Goodfellas lost to Dances With Wolves. What is Dances With Wolves? Me neither.

Wants to put on a big donkey mask when he has company and laugh like a donkey going ryehhehehehyaehhhh and fart into the couch.

Loves having Pepsi while playing Yahtzee.

A mother orders Olive Garden doordash and he barges into her house disguised as Simon Chipmunk to hold her hostage and make her cry by yelling “GET ON THE FLOOR NOWWWWWWWWWW”

Brings his own SNES to Olive Garden.

Will pay Fuggs 8K to put chicken biryani around her hooha.

I know everyone on YouTube bitches about Sweet after you save him from prison, but CJ & Cesar made their own choice to stick around home after they’ve had a great time away from Los Santos because they could always do both. I think what they did with Franklin falls under a larger problem with the fact none of V’s characters really matter for shit. San Andreas is a player earned journey that continuously rewards you and GTA V is just a messy overlap of cliches in place of a cohesive story.

Holds an Olive Garden hostage wearing a Theodore Chipmunk disguise and makes a mother cry by yelling “ON THE FLOOR, NOWWWWWWW”

I misjudged Franklin only because pre-release they were teasing Gang Warfare was back in full force and that never happened. When I rewatch cutscenes, it’s like R* read all the GAF posts calling CJ a dumbass and wrote Franklin to be smarter; not necessarily better.

Called the Olive Garden waiter a cabbage eating prick and told Ray about the diamonds.

Dropped his coffee mug when his relative revealed what happened to the pie in American Pie.

Envies the Mucinex man living inside the stomach with a recliner.

Wants to put huge antlers on his head and make an angry moose noise as he headbutts someone.

Remembers when Danny DeVito was drunk on The View.

Max Payne 2 summed up. • Mona Sax is playable. • Vinnie’s killed twice because series doesn’t have a lot of funny supporting characters. • “It’s ‘03 and there’s a Twin Peaks resurgence!” • Sam Lake wrote a song. • Vladimir Lem’s performance.