That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 (edited) So I've seen this guy around before but I never actually watched his set before tonight. A little back story: this dude is always loud and super hyper. A lot of times he's wearing the most random shit. One time he was wearing a full cobra kai outfit with the headband and everything. Also he talks at you. Having a conversation with this guy is basically just him vomiting his delusions at you at break neck speeds as you try to politely nod his crazy ass away from you. Tonight this dude was wearing a three piece suit and two big ass watches that he would constantly reference to anyone he cornered into a conversation. He comes up to me and starts saying shit like "I'M GOING PLACES WITH THIS SHIT! GOING PLACES MAN! I'M FUCKIN GOIN PLACES! HEY I'LL TAKE YOU WITH ME! I COULD BUY AND SELL EVERYONE IN HERE! YEAH! STRAIGHT TO THE TOP! NEW YORK AND LA! TWO WEEKS TOPS AND I'M ON MY WAY!" I really wish I was making this up. Anyways, he asks me to film his set. I agree since I wanted to stay to watch him out of morbid curiosity. As soon as he gets on stage the first thing he does is point at the two only women in attendance and say "Hey bitches! You shouldn't be allowed to read, write, or vote!" that is a direct quote. Again, wish I could make this shit up. The rest of his set was sentence fragments and his delusions screamed at the top of his lungs. I trolled him by filming like a jackass. I moved the camera around erratically and filmed his shoes for like two minutes. Lol good luck getting booked with that tape, assclown. So he finishes his set. The host lights him and he says "FUCK YOUR LIGHT AND FUCK ALL OF YOU! I'M BRINGING UP THE NEXT COMIC!" He then awkwardly brought up the next comic whos name he didn't even know. I gave him his phone and got the fuck out of there. Another story about him was when he did his set after the mic was over. The host was literally putting away the equipment, and he was still up there screaming his set with no microphone like a complete ass. Then he got on top of a fucking table and the bartender told him to get down. Everything I just told you is 100% real, and I sincerely wish it wasn't because Jesus fuck. tl;dr? Cock UPDATE! Here's video of him from a few weeks ago. Idk if he's posted the video from last night Edited June 25, 2019 by That_One_Guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mthor Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 I thought that this was going to be about barn cats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 I can't watch the video right now but you must look too nice. Stop making eye contact with weirdos 😆 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 19 minutes ago, mthor said: I thought that this was going to be about barn cats. Sorry to disappoint you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 JFC, then the wiring tech is taking shit down during your bit, you must be awful.....Dude is trying too hard to be edgy....Invite him here, let him meet some of our idiots for outdated material. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 10 minutes ago, Vamped said: I can't watch the video right now but you must look too nice. Stop making eye contact with weirdos 😆 You MUST watch that trainwreck at some point. And I like to think I'm pretty nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 1 minute ago, cyberbully said: JFC, then the wiring tech is taking shit down during your bit, you must be awful.....Dude is trying too hard to be edgy....Invite him here, let him meet some of our idiots for outdated material. LOL thats actually not a bad idea. He'd be another troll here tho. If yall cant handle Zeni you CANT handle this guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 2 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said: LOL thats actually not a bad idea. He'd be another troll here tho. If yall cant handle Zeni you CANT handle this guy Bring him on.....I'll pay to get him 500 posts so he can post in DF....I need a new target....The old ones are stale and not worth the effort. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 2 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said: LOL thats actually not a bad idea. He'd be another troll here tho. If yall cant handle Zeni you CANT handle this guy oh...we can handle zeni. we don't want to...but we do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 Just now, cyberbully said: Bring him on.....I'll pay to get him 500 posts so he can post in DF....I need a new target....The old ones are stale and not worth the effort. lol i can ask him but if he comes on here I'm almost sure he'll get banned lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 Just now, discolemonade said: oh...we can handle zeni. we don't want to...but we do. you sure? Sometimes i feel like y'all give him the reactions he wants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Just now, That_One_Guy said: you sure? Sometimes i feel like y'all give him the reactions he wants See, that's the thing....Former IBers give him the reaction he wants because they don't know how to handle him....He doesn't step into DF with that bullshit....He just makes more threads here in FFA 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 1 minute ago, That_One_Guy said: you sure? Sometimes i feel like y'all give him the reactions he wants HEY! you handle that douche in the vid. YOUR way.. we'll handle our douche OUR way. by showering him with negative feedback. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 and as a side note; how much of my material have you pillaged? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 1 minute ago, cyberbully said: See, that's the thing....Former IBers give him the reaction he wants because they don't know how to handle him....He doesn't step into DF with that bullshit....He just makes more threads here in FFA #FACTS!!!!! I noticed he stays out of there haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 Just now, discolemonade said: and as a side note; how much of my material have you pillaged? You've given me material? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 6 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said: You've given me material? pfft. i know you sit there with your notebook. watching us. observing us. i know...oh I KNOW! honestly i have no idea what you do. but, carry on funny man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
🍬Candy🍬 Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 18 minutes ago, discolemonade said: and as a side note; how much of my material have you pillaged? This is where I meant to put this I kinda want to give him material back from when I did open mics at our hole in the wall back home but all of my shit is kinda.....Well, black. I had a whole rant about how bitches go through the trouble of matching their bra and panties but their weave color and snatch never match, how you 25 with grey pubes, you done put your pussy through that much stress?....But want you don't want is a bitch whose halitosis matches her cooch....Bitch, save your mouth a swig of the douche. Anyway.....This is all just a dream now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 14 minutes ago, discolemonade said: pfft. i know you sit there with your notebook. watching us. observing us. i know...oh I KNOW! honestly i have no idea what you do. but, carry on small penis'd man. fixed 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 9 minutes ago, 🍬Candy🍬 said: Wow New military hottie for ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 5 minutes ago, cyberbully said: This is where I meant to put this I kinda want to give him material back from when I did open mics at our hole in the wall back home but all of my shit is kinda.....Well, black. I had a whole rant about how bitches go through the trouble of matching their bra and panties but their weave color and snatch never match, how you 25 with grey pubes, you done put your pussy through that much stress?....But want you don't want is a bitch whose halitosis matches her cooch....Bitch, save your mouth a swig of the douche. Anyway.....This is all just a dream now. That would definitely work in some rooms. Hipsters wouldn't fuck with it tho. I think it's hilarious. Lol good shit man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 2 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said: That would definitely work in some rooms. Hipsters wouldn't fuck with it tho. I think it's hilarious. Lol good shit man That's why I said my shit was black....I wouldn't play the room I saw you in with it.....But at the night club/strip club "the Climax" this killed. Even got some ones threw at me, but I also worked the pole at the end of my set. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 Just now, cyberbully said: That's why I said my shit was black....I wouldn't play the room I saw you in with it.....But at the night club/strip club "the Climax" this killed. Even got some ones threw at me, but I also worked the pole at the end of my set. You're goofy af for that but seriously that sounds fun. I'd probably find you funny. I enjoy all types of comedians. But honestly hood humor cracks me tf up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 5 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said: You're goofy af for that but seriously that sounds fun. I'd probably find you funny. I enjoy all types of comedians. But honestly hood humor cracks me tf up. 15 years too late man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 1 minute ago, cyberbully said: 15 years too late man. I feel that my dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 I might have done this bit around your crowd....It's not too black and I don't think hipsters care too much about the bible. Last one, I promise....I just kinda got the bug and need to get it out. I wish to ponder something with you....In any art created, Adam and Eve were both "beautiful" people but what if this were not true....What if Adam was fat and abusive and Eve was hooked on coke....She just found the first shit that got you high.....The tale, tells of an apple, but what if this bitch was the first junkie...And they started wearing clothes because Adam's fat ass wasn't attracted to Eve and her constant apple abuse, and she put them on because she was tired of blessing his tiny hog after the twins were born. I'd wager many of the "magical" tales in the bible were just normal happenstances, embellished and modified to draw us in.....But Jesus never turned water to wine....This mofo just spiked the water while Judas distracted everyone with a lie....."Oh shit, son....Is that Lucifer over there?....Oh, my bad...It's just a leper...Y'all drink up" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
🍬Candy🍬 Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 1 hour ago, cyberbully said: This is where I meant to put this I kinda want to give him material back from when I did open mics at our hole in the wall back home but all of my shit is kinda.....Well, black. I had a whole rant about how bitches go through the trouble of matching their bra and panties but their weave color and snatch never match, how you 25 with grey pubes, you done put your pussy through that much stress?....But want you don't want is a bitch whose halitosis matches her cooch....Bitch, save your mouth a swig of the douche. Anyway.....This is all just a dream now. Hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mthor Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 2 hours ago, discolemonade said: HEY! you handle that douche in the vid. YOUR way.. we'll handle our douche OUR way. by showering him with negative feedback. XD A rolled up newspaper works well, too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 People like jeff dunham. I wouldn't rule this guy's success out just yet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 1 minute ago, Poof said: People like jeff dunham. I wouldn't rule this guy's success out just yet If he so much as books a bar show I fucking quit lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 17 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said: If he so much as books a bar show I fucking quit lol Well the whole "don't quit and you'll make it" spiel I said before is a double edged sword. If this guy keeps at it, there's a good chance he'll find a niche. A niche full of terrible people who may or may not have survived a cerebral hemorrhage in the past. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 24 minutes ago, Poof said: Well the whole "don't quit and you'll make it" spiel I said before is a double edged sword. If this guy keeps at it, there's a good chance he'll find a niche. A niche full of terrible people who may or may not have survived a cerebral hemorrhage in the past. I won't actually quit if he makes it but if he does I'll lose all faith in humanity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 1 minute ago, That_One_Guy said: I won't actually quit if he makes it but if he does I'll lose all faith in humanity No I knew you didn't mean that. I just meant if HE doesn't quit, don't be surprised if he can manage to corral a group of dipshits into a room to watch him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 4 minutes ago, Poof said: No I knew you didn't mean that. I just meant if HE doesn't quit, don't be surprised if he can manage to corral a group of dipshits into a room to watch him. I will protest lol I'll fucking make pick it signs. This dude is the worst you can get. But I know you're right. I mean Dane Cook 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 1 minute ago, That_One_Guy said: I will protest lol I'll fucking make pick it signs. This dude is the worst you can get. But I know you're right. I mean Dane Cook Ugh Dane Cringe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted June 25, 2019 Author Share Posted June 25, 2019 4 minutes ago, Poof said: Ugh Dane Cringe Dude...he just friended me on fb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 21 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said: Dude...he just friended me on fb Dane Cook? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juice McKenzie Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 who's laughing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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