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Jesus Christ's brother, Isukiri, casually died in his place so that Jesus could return to Japan until his death at age 106


GunStarHero

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These are the facts, folks. 

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There is a gap in time within The New Testament, and a small village in Japan claims Daitenku Taro Jurai (or Jesus Christ to you casuals) traveled there in his early 20s to study theology for 12 years. 

After Jesus returned home, those pesky Romans had come to town and it was 

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They captured ole Daitenku, but he was a wily one, and, when his noble and otherwise totally unmentioned brother, Isuriki, casually took his place on the cross, Jesus made his great escape back to the sacred lands of Herai (modern day Shingo, Aomori).Exclusive footage of said escape provided for your viewing pleasure:

 

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Imagine the look on those stupid fucking Roman soldiers' faces when they realized he had escaped and they had killed the wrong man!

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Jesus would live out the remaining 73 years of his life in this sleepy village, as the Shogun of Spirits or some shit idk.

 

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If you ever find yourself in Japan, just itching to see where Daitenku lived out his final days, be sure to keep an eye out for subtle signs like this one to guide you on your way:

 

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And for any of you jerk off anti theists that think Jesus would've stuck out like a sore thumb in Japan, then I got some news for you: the man was the splitting image of Japan, and always has been. Don't let anyone tell you different.

 

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Additional reading:

Tokyo Travel article via WayBack Machine - 
https://web.archive.org/web/20060825022848/http://metropolis.co.jp/tokyotravel/tokyojapantravel/3523/tokyojapantravelinc.htm

 

Smithsonian Magazine article - 

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-little-known-legend-of-jesus-in-japan-165354242/

 

Shingo, Aomori Wiki article -

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shingō,_Aomori

 

Atlas Obscura with additional pictures - 

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/tomb-of-jesus-christ

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I'm not really well studied on this stuff, but isn't the whole point of Jesus that he sacrificed himself for the sins of humanity, so as to save us from eternal damnation?

I'm not a Christian, or religious at all, but that seems like a glaring continuity error. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to say he just lived on as a human after the sacrifice?

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12 minutes ago, SwimModSponges said:

"Jesus was sent to die for our sins" is just what the romans said to keep it from being awkward after they killed him then converted to his religion.

Whoa. That actually makes sense. 

 

Edited by KimopoBotar
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