SwimModSponges

I'm even ok with the fact that after this one we'll be getting a Jurassic World 3 that's a completely uninspired cash-grab. Because dinosaurs. Lots of awesome dinosaurs. The only downside is the inevitable 10+ year hiatus from dinosaur movies after the third one bombs and everyone else gets bored of dinosaurs for a while as the cycle continues.

It tastes like burnt caramel sauce and it is delicious.

It says you should enjoy the lesbian orgy quite a lot.

I read that the song is actually early feminist propaganda about a woman using the percived societal effects of alcohol as an excuse to engage in sexual behavior of her own free will.

Almost all the time. Read my fanfictions.

No, im afraid that would be impossible. I can, however, invite you to join me on a literary adventure across multiple realities with my friends, the x-men.

I dont know, the human consciousness has evolved to observe the fourth dimension as a continuous timeline with the ability to recall subjective, flawed, and easily manipulated imaginations of events that happened in the past, but almost no ability to accurately visualize events that will happen in the future along the timeline.

Well that depends on an amount of factors unimaginable to the human mind but nonetheless quantifiable and exact given more perfect methods of observation.

The meaning of life: Aeons, unfathomable ammounts of time ago, the timeline of our universe came into being. The three-dimensional objects which would become physical reality began interacting with eachother in a manner dictated by the laws of the universe, as the reaction traveled forwards along the fourth dimension of time. Flash forward those uncountable millenia and we find ourselves here: the current product of a singular chain reaction that will stretch on for another unfathomable stretch of time beyond our own personal ability to subjectively observe it.

The only feeling is the singular sensation of existance.

Just wait, Rogue gets a bunch more action later on in the story

I don't understand what is happening here.

Sports is lame, go to the literary share space folder AND REVIEW MY FANFICTIONS.

Drag the X-men through various alternate universes: the series.

I don't know whats going on here. Im not a mod. My new medication has made me angry to the point of nausea. I hate this.

Man_or_Astroman

You're high right now, aren't you?

I should see about having her put my fanfictions into comic form but I don't have any money.

It's important to do it every day or you'll start to smell.

*smuggles stuff past customs*

@Adminderaptorpat Hey I'm done with the stories from here. Unfortunately the one where I drag the x-men through the various worlds of [as] was a total loss, but it could have used a re-write anyways. You can go ahead and get rid of the stuff folder if you want.

Chapter 14- The thrilling conclusion Triumphantly, the Indominous Rex and I rode out into the clearing to join the group. “Thanks guys,” I said to the Kratt brothers while patting the spiked white hide of the creature below me. “I knew you’d know what to do.” “Anytime,” said Zoboomafoo before laughing and leaping away through a dimensional rift, the Kratt brothers following with a wave goodbye. “Wait, the Kratt brothers have the ability to switch universes as well?” asked Beast. “How many other beings like you and David are there?” “Well, you know, there’s the ones you’d expect of course,” I began. “Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Vishnu… occasionally see the God of the Old Testament lurking around, he’s really kind of an asshole. Thor, Osiris, Cthulhu, Vivec, Mehrunes Dagon, Talos… you know, god material. Then there’s the folks you wouldn’t really expect, like myself and Zoboomafoo. Yeah, the Kratt bros are actually just projections of his being. He's actually ancient; like, 6,000 BC-ish, the lemurs of Madagascar created their own primitive god. Super chill dude though. Let’s see, who else… Chris Farley is up here too, he’s cool, there’s like this 8 year old Korean kid, bumped into him a few times… most dolphins, quite a few squid, I mean, theoretically there’s a universe out there for everyone to be a god in, if you really think about it.” “How is any of this helping us find Wolverine?” demanded Charles angrily. “Oh, shit, that’s right, plot.” I said. “Ok hang on, I got this.” As I spoke, Claire’s phone began to ring. Everyone turned to watch as she fumbled the device out of her pocket and looked down at the name displayed on the screen. “Hello?” she answered cautiously. “Finally, someone picks up a phone.” said the perturbed voice of Simon Masrani. “Where have you been?” he continued in his richly accented voice. “I was starting to think you’d been abducted by aliens.” “Actually, I was,” began Claire before being cutoff. “It’s an expression, Claire; I don’t care where you were. I only need to know that you’re doing your job. And from the looks of things, you haven’t been.” Claire winced as Masrani berated her over the line. “In case you were unaware, during your absence there have been breaches in security all over the park.” “Yes, I’m aware of the situation and I’m working to rectify it,” said Claire contritely. “Currently I am overseeing an operation to reacquire several assets near the Gyroshpere attraction.” “Oh, the Gyrosphere attraction, wonderful,” said Masrani bitingly. “So what are you doing about the Tyrannosaurs loose on Main Street?” “I… I’ll be right there Mr. Masrani,” Claire stammered, but the line was already dead. “So…” I said after a moment of silence had elapsed. “Final battle time? Hey Claire, want to ride a dinosaur?” “Yeah, sure, fine; I’m probably going to be fired anyways,” she said. “May as well make it a fun last day.” She pointed to the Apatosauruses in which stood near us. “I’ll take one of these guys. Maybe throw a canopy on its back or something like that. You know, make it look grand and regal.” “Exquisite choice madam,” I said as the large sauropod with an sauntered up to her, a rope ladder hanging down from the luxurious canopy atop its back. “And for you mam?” I asked, turning to Zara. “Let’s go for the Pachycephalosaurus,” she said. I turned to Quill next. “I don’t know, something awesome I suppose,” he replied. “Suchomimus it is then,” I said as the large Spinosaurus-like carnivore strode towards him. “How about you Owen? You going to ride one of them raptors now?” I said with a wink. “Why do keep doing that?” he asked me. “You’re making it weird. Knock it off.” “Come on Owen,” I replied. “I know what universe this is; you know what universe this is. You want to ride one of those raptors, don’t you?” “What?” replied Owen as everyone turned to look at him. “I don’t know what this guy is talking about.” “Last chance,” I said. “Ok, fine, I’ll ride Blue then I guess,” he said. “Yeah, I bet you will,” I said as the dinosaur ran out with a saddle on. “You might want to buy her a drink first though. Oh and watch out, you may get dome dinosaur STDs." Owen blushed as he sat on top of the dinosaur, the scaled skin rubbing between his legs giving him an erection that he could barely hide. "Is that everybody? All right then, dinosaur convoy, move out!” As we rode away towards Main Street, a stegosaurus which had been standing nearby shed a single tear because no one had wanted to ride its armor plated body. We heard the echoes of the Tyrannosaurus’s bellow long before we were close enough to hear the cries of the panicked tourists. By this point, the intermittent roar of the dinosaur was very nearly deafening. We finally broke free of the jungle, stepping out onto Main Street and into a veritable river of people rushing away from the monster behind them. The human herd broke around as we stepped out into the thoroughfare; the already panicked tourists becoming more frightened when confronted with our wild dinosaur mounts. The deafening cry of the Tyrannosaurus rang out once again; very close by. A surge of screams drew our attention as a large group of people rushed from around the side of a building. The last one around the corner tripped, and was immediately engulfed by the jaws of the massive dinosaur which had pursued him. The Rex lifted its head, rolling the screaming man back into its throat before bringing its jaws down around him with a sickening crunch. It swallowed and turned to us. A crack in reality split through the top of the dinosaurs head and into the air above. From its black emptiness, David emerged; its black tentacles wrapping down around and into the tyrannosaurus’s head, fusing to form a sort of standing podium atop the prehistoric carnivore. “Hello Sponges,” it said from its perch. “Are you having a pleasant vacation?” “Actually, yeah, I kind of am,” I replied. “I mean, I would have liked to have spent more time by the pool or whatever, but it’s been all right. You know, life gives you lemons and all that. I do have one more dinosaur to cross off my list though, and it’s the one you’re currently standing on.” “Where the hell is Logan!” demanded Charles, his rage finally breaking loose in a blast of psychic energy which caused most of the tourists between us to suddenly begin bleeding from the nose and ears before fainting. Those tourists who were unharmed quickly abandoned the area, leaving us a large open arena in the middle of the crowd. David commanded the Tyrannosaurus to step into the opening while whipping out a large void tentacle, Wolverine dangling from the end. David sent out several more tentacles and attached each to one of Logan’s limbs. With a cruel mockery of a grin, it began pulling. “I think it’s about time for that deus ex machina you mentioned before,” said Beast as Logan screamed in agony before us. I simply winked and nodded back towards the open arena. Suddenly, a man stepped out of the crowd that lined the space, a look of pure awe on his face as he stared at us. “Chris Pratt?” said both Chris Pratts simultaneously upon recognizing him. “What?” he asked, slightly confused but seemingly very enthused to currently be speaking to his doppelgangers. “No, I’m Andy, Andy Dwyer. Yeah, I’m on vacation; it was super cheap when you bundled a cruise with it. I mean, at that price you can’t really afford not to go, right? Anyways, then all this happens, and you guys step out… Let me level with you here, I have no idea what is going on, but something inside me told me I needed to be here.” He stepped forward into the opening, and as he did so, passed the event horizon. Particles from all three Pratts began breaking off from them, streaming to a point directly between them all. Where the Pratt particles met, they began to condense and spin rapidly into a singular, glowing ball of superheated Pratt. When the last dust of the three original Pratts faded into it, the ball pulsed into a microscopic supernova, the light of which blinded us momentarily. When it faded, a single Pratt stood before us. “Owen?” asked Claire. “Quill?” asked Zara. “Andy?” asked Beast. “Pratt?” asked Kitty. “Yes,” he said to all of them. The OmniPratt then turned, reaching out his arm and plucking Logan effortlessly from David’s snares and placing him on the ground in front of us, where he gasped and groaned before standing. “You’ve had your fun, David,” the Prattgod continued. “But it’s time to finish this.” As he spoke, he and I stared into the Tyrannosaurus’s eyes, forming a mind link with the creature. The dinosaur shook it head wildly, loosening David’s grip over it. With the combined will of two gods working against it, David slipped from his perch atop the tyrant lizard king’s crown. It tore through reality in a streak of darkness as the dinosaurs jaws closed down around it. “That totally counts as feeding it!” I shouted as I leapt off the Indominous Rex to wrap my arms around the scaly leg of the tyrannosaur. I pulled back from my embrace, triumphantly crossing the final species off the list as I turned back to the X-Men. “Well, I hope you guys had as much fun on our vacation as I did,” I said with a wide smile. “Take us back home now, you monster,” said Xavier angrily. “Sure you don’t want to go down just one waterslide?” I asked him. “Take us home, now.” He demanded. “Fine, whatever.” I said as the tropical boulevard around us was replaced by the wood paneling of the hallway outside of the teacher’s lounge. The sounds of celebration within were barely muffled by the closed door. Xavier gave me an agitated look as he wheeled into the room. “Hey guys! Welcome back!” shouted Kitty from near the keg in the corner of the room, raising a red plastic cup in greeting. More cups littered the room, as did essays which were strewn across the table tops with abandon. Logan and Beast were sitting across from each other doing competitive rows of shots, and Jean and Scott stumbled out of the adjacent bathroom, Jean whipping her mouth. I stood at the counter, mixing drinks. Charles sat in the corner with his arms crossed, the vein in his forehead pulsing. “What the hell is going on here?” asked the Charles in the doorway. “You said we would be grading essays when we got back!” “Hey, don’t ask me,” I said pointing to myself. “Go ask me about it.” “Yeah, they were kind of pissed you guys went on vacation without them.” I said from behind the bar. “So we just kind of said fuck it, let’s get drunk.” “This is absolutely unacceptable!” said Charles. “I want all of you to leave, now.” “Or,” I said, walking into the room and grabbing a bottle from the counter behind myself. “We could just join in and have a good time? Maybe drink so much that Kitty and Jean start making out with themselves?” “Oh, I’m already there,” said the Jean who had just finished giving Scott a blowie in the bathroom. She stalked confidently up to other Jean and grabbed her aggressively about the waist before pulling her in for a sensual kiss. Jean pulled back, fighting against the seduction. After some voracious tongue play Jean released her, gazing lustily into her eyes. “I’m… going to need a few drinks first,” said Jean. “Coming right up” I said as I began to pour. After the credits rolled; the party wound down and our doppelgangers left, leaving only the original group seated around the teachers lounge in a silent stupor, the exhaustion of the vacation finally catching up to the X-men. “Man, I don’t know about the rest of you,” slurred Logan drunkenly to no one in particular. “But my feet have felt amazing since we got back.”

Chapter 13 - Sympathy for the devil Our dinosaur convoy emerged from the tree line into the bright morning sunlight of a vast open plain, the grass stretching off into the distance soaked with dew. Nearby, a group of Apatosaurus was munching lazily on the branches of the trees. I called time out and quickly ran over to feed and pet them before crossing them off my list. As I walked back towards the group, Quill’s ship appeared in the skyline and set down a ways from the herd. Quill, Zara, and Claire disembarked the craft and headed towards us; Claire holding some form of electronic instrument in her hands. As they came closer, the machine beeped and clicked rapidly. “What’s that you’ve got there?” asked Beast as they reached us. “It’s an electronic tracker, set to focus on the microchip we placed in the Indominous,” explained Claire. “And it should be right around here…” said Quill, eyes scanning the trees behind us for any sign of movement. “What? Do you think it’s just going to come out and say hi?” asked Owen. “First off, it’s going to hear that beeping a mile away, so you’re kind of giving away your position right there. Then there’s the fact that if its back there, then its downwind of us.” He threw a handful of grass in the air to illustrate his point. “You’re not hunting it,” he said, unshouldering his rifle nervously. “It’s hunting us.” We turned back to face the jungle, suddenly aware that we had not been alone. “But we know where it is now,” interjected Quill. “Why not just shoot a couple rockets at it and call it a day?” “We have invested literal millions of dollars into that asset,” said Claire, shaking her head. “Your mission is to contain the asset, not destroy it.” “Oh-ho, my mission?” replied Quill. “Let’s get something straight here, I don’t work for you. That’s the guy in the stupid vest.” “Hey, leave the vest out of this all right?” said Owen. “It’s functional." “Great, so what’s the plan now, Sponges?” asked Scott as his Pteranodon landed on the grass in front of me. “The Pratts weren’t enough, I see that now,” I replied as Owen and Quill argued in the background. “We need someone with an almost super-human understanding of what it means to make friends with animals.” As I spoke, a small, black and white furry creature with large yellow eyes leapt energetically out of the woods. I held out a garbanzo bean for our new bouncing friend, who excitedly took the legume from my hand. The creature leapt off a short ways before munching on the treat I had given it. After devouring the snack, the little lemur belched. “Excuse me,” it said as it began to spin around wildly, its excited gyrations culminating in a hoot-like chuckling and an impressive leap to the extended neck of an apatosaur which stood nearby. He looked down at us with a smile as he swung playfully on the massive creature. “Hi! How’s it going?” he asked. “What in god’s name am I witnessing right now?” asked Charles, his voice equal parts wonder and anger. “Hey, I know who that is!” shouted Kitty excitedly. “It’s Zoboomafoo!” “Wha-ha-hooha! That’s right!” said the speaking lemur. “And I brought friends too!” As he spoke, a smiling pair of men dressed in hiking gear stepped out from behind the apatosauruses and began waving at us. “Who the hell are these guys?” asked Quill pointing towards them, momentarily distracted from the argument. Owen looked towards the group as well and did a double take when he saw that a lemur had suddenly joined our party. “Ah, sorry, allow me to introduce you.” I said. I gestured to each individual as I spoke. “Peter Pratt, Owen Pratt; Chris Kratt, Martin Kratt. Zoboomafoo.” “Zoboomafoo!” shouted the lemur in response, before reciting the names again in the form of a song and leaping excitedly from the neck of the sauropods down towards us. “Ok, did I just have a stroke?” asked Beast. “Can someone please explain to me exactly what is going on here?” “We’re the Kratt brothers!” said the Kratt brothers. “And we love animals.” “You guys got here just in time,” I said. “Our Indominous Rex jumped out of its exhibit and now its hiding from us. We need to get it back, can you help us?” “Uh-oh,” began Chris Kratt. “When a dinosaur escapes containment, it can be a dangerous situation for them and everyone around them.” “Remember, this is an animal that has no idea what’s going on outside of its pen,” continued Martin Kratt. “Walking around in a world it doesn’t understand. It’s scared and afraid.” “Plus,” interjected Chris again, “it’s a genetic hybrid of several species. It has all kinds of different hardwired instincts running through its head.” “Right then,” I said as I began walking into the forest in the direction the tracker indicated. “I know what I have to do.” Dappled light shone through the canopy above, the forest still as the silent predator lurked further within. I strode through the underbrush, and upon finding a suitably large root to seat myself on, reached into my boxers and pulled out my list of dinosaurs. Further into the forest, I heard the crack of a twig. “You just going to hide in there all day then?” I asked the creature in the distance. “Look, I get it. You don’t know what the hell is going on here, you don’t know where you are, what to do… Shit, you don’t even know who you are.” I slipped the list back into my waistband before continuing. “That’s actually a pretty common situation; you’re not that special. To quote Timothy Leary, ‘we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos' That sound about right to you?” Silence continued through the forest. “I get it,” I repeated. “I know who you are. You ready for this? You are you. Yeah, that’s all there is to it. Life is a verb. You see the world around you? That’s your world. You see your hands? They’re your hands. Use them. You have to realize that no matter what is out there, you exist, so exist. Do what you want, be what you want. But no matter what you choose to be, choose to be.” I raised myself from my root-seat, brushing the dirt and flecks of moss from my boxers as I turned around. The Indominous Rex stood not five yards from me, baring its teeth. “Be yourself to the maximum potential,” I said as a large slab of beef appeared in my hands. The Indominous Rex opened its razor tooth lined jaw, preparing to strike.