nameraka

but, they're the only fun thing about this year so far.

i can tell from the stench.

fuck this shit. i'm going back to 2004.

...wait... fuck. give me a minute here...

i have never heard anyone call cornbread that and i would fight them if they did.

https://giant.gfycat.com/SparklingUnitedAcornbarnacle.webm

yeah, i had to straight up murder that guy. sorry. i was hangry.

also, off topic, but does anyone else think matt patricia is a fucking asshat?

...and miami is playing like they want a new coach.

i used to know medium amanda she's more xl these days...

*sighs* fine...

choose and perish...

oooh i know this one! peter cushing, right? wait. you said sick, not dead. fuck.

i might actually have to try these:

can i have cereal too?

like they had more than one...

and you're a better person for it. honestly. i've been sober for about seven months total since 1999. time to cut down before my liver rebels.

oh yeah. that is now totally a thing.

maybe eat a nice sandwich and see if that helps...

those of you who are horny, have you eaten recently? you might just be hungry.

i can't. that's not part of the plan.

drink enough before midnight to carry me through sober january...

tolerance is my issue. i took down most of a fifth last saturday night and only had a mild hangover the next day. yeah. i need a break. that's not normal. my plan for next month is to drink myself through the entire "republic of tea" catalogue.

the question now becomes whether or not i can consume enough alcohol this weekend to keep a low grade buzz throughout the entire month of january...