EmpressAngel

If Ray Chase is your mentor figure in a criminal family organization, everyone's about to have a bad time. Exorcist- I like that her sword looks like a derpy snake. Isn't that thing what Zoro's currently fighting in One Piece? Mephisto's just have a good time here. Hey buddy sorry we were gonna execute you because your dad's an asshole, we'd really appreciate it if you saved all of our asses right now. Wasn't he already in your custody working for you and didn't your staff already know he was Satan's bastard son? Fuck off, Charlie Brown. Well that's an easy way to take care of demon bugs. So you went out of your way to repair his sword and save his life because he's your friend and you care about him but now he can go fuck himself, okay sure that makes sense. Come on bro it's time for a training arc. I want to be her when I grow up. Hey, it finally occurred to somebody that Yukio is also the bastard son of the devil and maybe they should keep an eye on that. Ass. Uh hey dude I think you're coming down with leprosy. Whelp, Charlie Brown's getting posessed. Hey look, the heinous bitch is capable of being a decent person for a grand total of three minutes. One Piece- Oh good for a second there I thought you weren't gonna force us to rewatch the tragic backstory one more time. Alright Law you've really gotta kill Doffy now, avenge your adopted faildad. Meanwhile, please just fucking put Bellamy down like the dog he is. Oh no that wasn't fate, that was Law pointing Luffy in the general direction of shenanigans and letting him loose. What factory. Get back to the pantsless fight! You keep saying Trebol's a top executive but I refuse to believe it. This recap is genuinely helpful, thanks. MY WIFE. You gotta save the cat, bro. I genuinely love these two together. Go ahead and kill Bellamy please I'll give you $5. Oh right, Dilf is fighting Steven Tyler. And Rebecca is also here to get in the way. Barto, still having the best goddamn day. This fucking nerd. Cabbage is your horse okay. My dude you're a giant how is this guy giving you so much trouble. I love my wife. Oh right, I forgot about the adorable little fiary princess. BOYFRIEND. Oooh I think you got under the flamingo's skin with that. This is how my doctor gives me the flu shot every year. Law it's really gonna suck if you lose here after that inspiring speech you just gave about avenging your dead loved one. SHUT UP TREBOL. Sorry Law you're really just not good at thie whole revenge thing. Meanwhile, I enjoy seeing Bellamy get hurt. No listen to him, mercy kill him and be done with it. There will come a day where I don't devolve into giggles whenever Pica speaks but today is not that day. That bowling bit came out of nowhere. Only Zoro could manage to lose a guy who's also a building. God, Zoro's so cool. Law continues to have the worst fucking day. We didn't deserve Cora. AW FUCK HIS ARM. It's fine he's a doctor he can sew it back on himself probably. See, this here's my Family Murderin' Pistol, I only bring it out for special occasions. At least Luffy's doing better than Law at his fight.

Hey we watched Shenmue I'm pretty sure that counts as being forklift certified. Exorcist- Rin's got rabies, you're gonna have to put him down like a dog. Saved by the power of boobs. Who the hell are you? You look like a douchebag. My dude literally half the people here are Satan's bastard children. I have zero memory of any of this. Charlie Brown asking the real questions here. Hey buddy, sorry we stole your family's heirloom magic sword. You see, my plan was to give this boy massive daddy issues and turn him loose on the devil. Ah hell we're back in Demon Slayer. Oh hey, she's cute. Of course the caustic bitch is sexist too. This would have taken three episodes of Demon Slayer with 20 solid minutes of tragic backstory for some rando we'd never seen before. And now, some bitch ghosts. Now go rip the nails out of their walls and get out of there. I hate your shitbag brother, guys. One Piece- Me and Corazon could have lived happily ever after with Tiny Law but noooo I'm not allowed to have nice things. I'm glad that kid escaped to one day be hot and also a dinosaur. Guns in this show only work in flashbacks. I can't believe you looked at Trebol and decided to keep him around. Pica's voice is never not hilarious. Tiny Law's really going through it today. Obligatory fuck you, Steven Tyler. I'd like to get off this ride now please. I'd rather just get outright murdered than spend 20 seconds with Trebol. Hey man you can't smoke here, don't you know cigarettes will kill you. Tiny Cora also had it rough back in the day. Goddamn he's cool. Aaaand I'm crying. Man it's convenient that the navy just randomly picked up another kid at the same time. This is why everyone hates you, Doflamingo. Law stop rattling around in there you're gonna get caught. He tripped AND he's on fire! He was too cool for us. Oh this hurts. We didn't deserve Cora.

Slim pickins tonight ain't it. Exorcist- Girl take this opportunity to get yourself some friends who aren't a raging bitch. You don't wanna go to summer training camp that's where the loudest and bitchiest of you gets kidnapped by villains. Girl if you're gonna have a shit personality you could at least have the decency to be a decent cook. I hate the outdoors but Tits Mcgee could convince me to get drunk in the woods and neglect annoying kids. I constantly forget Puppet Kid exists. GODDAMN MOTHS. It's fine she's too busy getting drunk in the woods to notice you. Feed the caustic bitch to the lantern goblin. Good job Charlie Brown. There are approximately 2.5 brain cells in this group. Control your boners, kids. You dumb bastard. VENOMOTH, I CHOOSE YOU! Venemoth used Vine Whip, it's super effective! Aww look, you're friends now. How the hell did Puppet Kid manage that? Boob sword, go! Snaaaaake. Aren't you supposed to be watching your jackass brother, you useless dipshit? Yeah that's not suspicious at all that you called out not waterboarding him. Meanwhile, GUN. Shut up and take the stupid sword. Whelp, Shiemi's possessed. Gross. Tits Mcgee is doing pretty good considering she's probably about 16 beers deep by now. And then everyone got their bones snapped. So does nobody notice Mephisto sitting up there with popcorn? Fuck you and your stupid clock. One Piece- Oh this is gonna hurt. So how do I join the old lady's squad of all women hot marines? The one time guns do something in this show. Fun story, that boy jumping out of a window will one day grow up to be hot and also a dinosaur. Okay now shove that magic frut down that dying boy's throat. I love Corazon but I'm not allowed to have nice things. I'd like to go on record that flashbacks don't count towards my ongoing tally of hot men who get killed. Well hey, maybe for once the navy can be helpful. AW FUCK NOT THAT GUY. Ohhhhh this is not going well. Tiny Law's really going through it today. Your hair is stupid and you've got a wiener on your face, you shouldn't be that strong. I love that dumb flamingo boat. Maybe it's okay and Corazon gets away and he's just been busy this whole time. Oh, this is why regular Law has PTSD now. Aaaand I'm crying.

Mashle- Your first mistake was trusting a guy who willingly talks to a puppet. Oh hey, I guess his dad and the large man aren't hanging out in the woods anymore. I like that these two somehow became friends. I love these idiots so much. I respect Lemon and her thirst. Pay no attention to this weird schmuck floating ominously towards you. Whelp, you're fucked. Sweet, free cream puffs! Oh no, my cream puffs! He just hit you that hard with a pastry. Mash is a good boy there is not a single thought rolling around in that skull of his. Surprise assist from the Sharingan. RIP Mask Dude. Ohhhh them's fightin' words. I love it when Mash says exactly what I'm thinking. Joke's on you that boy's got abs of steel. Puppet boy you can have your existential crisis later, maybe do anything helpful. Oh sure, now you remember your mom's lesson about not be a bag of dicks. These two were definitely banging offscreen. So hey anybody maybe wanna step in and help here? Thanks, horrifying puppet abomination! PUNCH. What the hell, he's a rock. It's Punch Magic, you wouldn't get it. In a surprise twist, he used Kick Magic. This show is a gift. Okay then, that's a new one. Oh I don't like whatever giant mummy hand thing is happening here. The real magic was the friends we made along the way. Lemon is a fucking mood. Ah fuck we're caught. Now, cream puff time. Your dad seems like a real asshole. Exorcist- No seriously how was she hiding those boobs in that hoodie. Commece the jiggling! So like, does everybody just ignore the fact that their Japanese office is run by a demon who's also Satan's kid or have they just not noticed? Girl where the hell did you grow up. I can also be bamboozled by a huge rack, bamboobzled if you will. Again, does nobody care that Yukio is also the bastard child of the devil? Oh sure, now you respect the dad who raised and died for you. Snaaaaake. Lady I am once again asking what kinda tape you're using to keep those boobs restrained. I've only absorbed about half the dialogue of this episode. Tiny Rin sucks. Good thing you already adopted kids because that one just obliterated your nuts. Priest Dad was too cool for us. One Piece- Y'all can just kill Bellamy, please I'll pay you. Meanwhile Law, actively fighting his PTSD. I love Tiny Law he's such a little shit. Don't go back it's a trap! Ah shit he figured out you're a spy. I can't tell if Tiny Law is freakishly short or if Corazon is freakishly tall. He's a good adult in somebody's childhood flashback, there is no possible way this is gonna end well. I love that guy's random goat. Guys I'm sure this plan of taking down Doflamingo is gonna go off without a hitch. Tiny Law's not doing well. Goddammit Cora you precious idiot. God he's hot. Man, Tiny Law must have really hit a growth spurt to become Regular Law at some point. I love Cora he's so dumb. Hey boss, shit's on fire out here. Hey look, he gets to be cool for once! Oh no this flashback is going too well something's about to go very wrong. The one time guns do anything in this damn show.

Get you a man who will burn down eight hospitals in a row for his new forcibly-kidnapped adopted son.

Mashle- I'm deeply uncomfortable with whatever the hell's going on here. Shut up and get punched, jackass. Beat his ass, Mash! Awwwww baby Mash. Oh my god baby Mash. On a scale of Rin to Mash, how good is your relationship with your adopted dad voiced by Kirk Thornton? Use the annoying girl as a meatshield! Do not take Mash bowling. Ah shit freaky clown puppets. BEAT HIS ASS, MASH. Stop beating your own ass, Mash! Third option, just punch this dude in the dick. God I love our boy. He's so cool. Oh you dick. Sweet, free cream puff. Cream puffs are a matter of life and death. Oh that thing's looking real fucked up. Eat shit, douchebag. The strongest magic of all is just punching a dude really hard. I cast Broken Neck. Between this lady and Doflamingo's family, you really don't wanna be a rich person hanging out in a broke town. Cool motive, still murder. Yeah fun story can you just give us back our girlfriend and call it a day. Mash honey no he is a bad guy. Meanwhle, Dot's bleeding out in the next room. Yay! Lemon yelling out HUSBAND HUSBAND HUSBAND killed me. Now kiss. Dot broke. I love these idiots. The plot do be twisting. You're being impersonated by a gijinka for the Catholic Church. Who the hell are you?! Exorcist- Fucking weeb. Good news kids we're going to Disney World. Hey you leave Puppet Kid out of this. Someone get this girl a bra. The ghosts can fuck off I'm gonna go ride Space Mountain ten times. Control your boner you're at work. Now send this little dead child to hell where he belongs. Yeah sure run off alone like a dumbass. Your cunt demon brother has come to cockblock you. Thank god she's cute because she sure is incompetent. This guy's outfit is so, so ugly. Oh right, Hoodie Kid is secretly the lady with massive boobs right? Guys this is how you get banned from Disney World. That kid's already dead he doesn't have to give a shit if he gets hit with a steel girder. Now go back to hell, annoying child. What kind of dark magic is she using to keep those boobs contained. My focus on this show has been renewed. One Piece- Oh right, he talks. Ohh, he's got a fruit. No he's really just that clumsy. I get it man, every family has that one trainwreck of a sibling you have to work around. I forgot Vergo existed. I'm a grownup and "everyone lives in fear of the D" is not a thing that's making me laugh. Tiny Law is not having a great time here. Corazon spontaneously combusting the moment Law slamdunks him into a dumpster cracks me up. I can also easily be bribed with ice cream. I know this is gonna end tragically but Corazon can get it. Tiny Law is an evil little bastard. Awww look at Baby Dellinger. Show I can't read that. Look sometimes you gotta kidnap a child for their own good. Hey there Sengoku. Ohhhhh he's been undercover this whole time. GOAT. Fuck it's Vergo. Dude the government killed his entire town. Awwww Cora you're a good dude. Get you a man who will burn down a hospital for his forcibly-adopted son. Date me. I love this bumbling dumbass so much. The end of this flashback is gonna fucking hurt isn't it. Oh yeah, there's an actual fight going on.

Mashle- A new challenger appears. I want her to know I hate her. Bitches be crazy, Dot. Well hey good news buddy, you found somebody as desperate as you are. Joke's on you, Mash is just gonna find a way to punch through being a statue. Aww, Tiny Dot is adorable. His sister's cute. Beat her ass! Oh, so that's why he wears that dumb headband. No dude she's a bitch, pick on her all you want. Maybe sadsack roommate could manage to do anything at all. Whelp, Dot's dead. False alarm, we're good. They broke your spell and probably six ribs. Your hair is stupid and you should feel bad. At least the girl knows when to fold 'em. Y'know what I'm rooting for Stupid Hair on this. If that's your brother no wonder you're a sadsack failure who can't do anything. I love Mash so goddamn much. You're giving me Stranger Danger vibes. I appreciate that the power scaling spider makes bad puns. Congrats, you made another friend. Alright so we beat him up and loot his corpse, got it. Oh shit, a door he didn't immediately destroy...nevermind. Exorcist- Thar she blows! So why are the exorcists grilling seafood for school credit? You have stupid eyebrows and no boobs, go away. Good, let her drown. Child get better standards. Good news, Cthulhu's here. This kid is annoying as all fuck. Kid is your dad Zoro? Hope y'all like calamari. This teacher sucks. You're right, it is unusual for her to not be a total bitch to someone. Maybe the demon killed your dad because he sounds like he was annoying as all fuck. Let the cat eat the squid like nature intended. Way to suck and fail, you unlikable bitch. Good, let the kid die. Who needs spells when you can bring out a fucking harpoon. There are no brain cells appearing in this episode. Squid, get back here and kill them. Hey Rin, is this nice moment between father and son making you regret being such a piece of shit to your own dead dad? One Piece- Tiny Law had a whole lot of issues. We're like two levels deep in flashback territory this isn't gonna go well. Jesus I need a drink. Fuck you, small children we're torturing! I wouldn't normally say this but Doflamingo needs a hug. Doffy's parents were good people but boy howdy were they dumber than fucking bricks. Tiny Doffy was always terrible. I'm not saying this is how we should treat billionaires but I am taking notes. Hey maybe they're in this conveniently placed shack. In a surprising twist, this poorly-thought plan did not go well. Pandaman sighting! It just keeps getting worse! Man, menopause hit Giolla like a fucking freight train. Corazon can get it. Don't mind me just bleeding out in a corner. Corazon's a goddamn disaster I love him. Oh right, Law's still dying. Wait what. Oh hey, he talks.

No seriously, the fuck happened to Senior Pink between then and now. Mashle- Why are these kids named like a game of Madlibs. Look I'm not gonna complain if you take out the weird sisterfucker. Eat rock, douchebag. Whatcha got there, drugs? Dude your power is literally wet dirt I'm not gonna be scared of that. Wow what a shock your shitty dirt monster is losing. Remember kids, don't do drugs. Your shitty dad was right, you do suck and should be ashamed. Well that was anticlimactic. BEAT HIS ASS, SON. This could be going better. He's just a good boy who loves his dad. It's probably not a good thing that he's bleeding so much. Aw shit that's not good. Abs of steel right here. Ah hell he's got a sharingan. I love this dumb bastard. That's cheating why do you have like five different powers. Joke's on you the guy's just that strong. I love watching Mash hit dudes. Just make the kid wear an eyepatch, you stupid assholes. Lord who what now? Mash is a good boy and we don't deserve him. Exorcist- Cat. Too cheap to spring for some AC, huh? No shit you're staring from the bottom, you didn't know demons existed until like two months ago. He's right, Rin sucks. Your dad died to save you, you ungrateful sack of shit. Yukio and Iida would get along. Rin's the fucking worst. That's just standard cat behavior. "So your dad got the cat demon completely fucking plastered and it all ended well." Obviously the answer to just murder the shit out of it. It's fine it's not like he's got any brains in that skull to injure. So how is it their dad had this years-long friendship with the cat demon and yet Rin never saw the thing ever before at any point? The real answer was to get that cat absolutely fucking plastered again. One Piece- Tiny Law is not having a good time here. Holy shit what happened to Senior Pink. Law getting tossed into the garbage is still unreasonably funny. Aww look at baby Dillinger over there. Shut up Trebol. Pica's voice is still hilarious. Oh my god you can't just ask someone why they're white. Jesus christ Law. Tiny Baby 5 is adorable. Oh this is gonna get depressing real quick. Oh no he also had an adorable little sister. Surprise, it's lead poisoning. Oh, that's horrifying. It just keeps getting worse! No really,what the hell happened to Senior Pink. Nun lady this is absolutely a trap the government will 100% murder children without a second thought. Things are not going well today. Tiny Law broke. Admittedly I was not expecting this flashback to be quite this fucked up. For the love of god somebody please hug Tiny Law. Corazon, also not having a great day now.

Mashle- Hi random new guy, by random new guy. Exposition later, cream puffs now. Which one was Tom? Maybe he'd feel better if you brought him cream puffs. Oh no, not our bro! The worst nightmare of all, being forced to become a mime. Hey guys I think there's something suspicious going on here. Awww she made him a plushie. I respect mandatory girlfriend, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I love these idiots. Uhhhh guys I don't think that's normal. Boy your dick is gonna get you killed one day. You don't need a spell, Mash is good with doors. Mash vs Doors is still my favorite running gag. Are they running illegal puppet fights down here? Punch him in the dick! Dot the other boys aren't that much prettier than you. Fucking magic bureaucrats. Oh hey, a new subplot that I'm sure won't be important. Oh flowers, I'm so scared. And then he died. Hey, he won! This show is a gift. "I'm going under, save my baby" absolutely killed me. Beat him and break his stupid shitty glasses. Oh no it's a girl, Dot's done for. Oh I hate these two already. Punch him in the dick! Exorcist- Surprise, we let you get hurt for fun! She's right, she's a terrible bitch who can't work with others. No seriously what is Puppet Kid's deal. Hey dude why'd you try to kill my brother? He is absolutely going to try and kill your brother, don't trust him. I do love that little pokemon she's got. She may be completely incompetent but Shiemi's adorable. Surprise, evil Seitz is out here trying to kill your brother, again. So like, you realize Yukio is also the bastard son of the devil, right? I am not immume to evil Seitz yellling at me. "Wait, am I the asshole here?" Shiemi's trying her best here. Hey sorry I hired that guy who tried to murder your brother. There's something really funny about demons using cell phones in hell. One Piece- Uh hey Doffy you okay buddy? Meanwhile, everyone's dying. Even the navy's done with this shit. No shit the animals are panicking. Again, shoutout to Fujitoro for being one of like, five genuinely good marines. No dude they're also terrified as fuck here in addition to angry. Fuck you, Bellamy. Why the fuck is Trebol allowed to be here. I'm sure that mysterious secret he knows about the government won't be important. Oh shit it can do that? Show me what kinda unhealthy backstory these two have together. Tiny Law! Trebol, disgusting from the get-go. Uhhh hey Tiny Law you okay there kiddo? Oh that's rough. New guy's just as much of a dipshit as everyone else. Okay him shotputting Tiny Law into a trash heap is unreasonably funny. Yes I know he's attacking children but he's kinda hot and I can fix him. And then he was on fire.

I managed to forget about Uzumaki in record time and that's honestly just kinda more sad than anything. Mashle- I appreciate the recap because I 100% don't remember last month. Him just standing there with that door is cracking me up. I love my dumb good fight son. Well it's good to know the puppet horror is reversible. BEAT HIS ASS, or not that works too I guess. There is no stronger power in this world dthan straight up not giving a fuck. Oh my god our boy is amazing. I would have absolutely let that guy die. Get your own room! Buddy you've got nothing to worry about, that dude only wants to bang his own sister. Mash vs doors is my favorite running gag. "I just wanna get a girlfriend" is a mood. Sorry girl, no gang bang for you today. Hoot hoot, motherfuckers. Let's beat them up and take their gold. Who invited Frankenstein. Owls are dicks. Mash no! And then he turned into a shark. Fuck them birds, my guy. No seriously, who gives a fuck about the birds. Wow, surprising how bringing a giant heavy thing to a fight with a guy that controls gravity didn't pan out well. I'm never lucky enough to see a lolisister fucker die. Mash doing a remarkable job for a guy actively drowning. I goddamn love this show. Fuck you and your stupid mask, loser. BEAT HIS ASS. Oh that ain't good there's somebody faster than our boy. Oh, shit. Exorcist- Oh right, that happened. Maybe you'd have some friends if you weren't such a heinous bitch. I mean he's Satan, does he need a dedicated reason to kill you? So why are y'all not just shouting this shit out of a megaphone in every fight? I hope she dies. Hey now, what did Puppet Kid do to deserve having his dick smashed? Quick, use the unlikable bitch as a meatshield! Surprise, there's two horrible ghouls. Charlie Brown with the assist here. Don't need a good memory when you have a good stick. I already forgot about Eyepatch Seitz again. I think those ghost dogs should rip her limb from limb. Seriously girl you have gotta get better standards for your friends. One Piece- You can go ahead and kill Trebol any time you want, please I'm begging you I'll pay you. Look we should just appreciate that Luffy was able to follow a plan for a whole like, five minutes. Man, Sabo's hot. Koala's so cute. These two are absolutely fucking. Shoutout to Fujitora for being a genuinely good dude. Usopp is popular today. My petty ass would definitely just let everyone die. Thanks, random knife guy! Yes, you all suck and should feel bad about yourselves. That crippling gambling addiction probably isn't great but other than that, Fujitora's the best. God, Law's so cool. I'd honestly rather die than have to be within ten feet of Trebol. Law has returned to having the worst fucking day. You shoudl just kill Bellamy. This fight could be going better. Ah hell of course he's one of those assholes. Oh this is gonna be a fucked up backstory. Uhhh hey Doffy you okay there buddy?

My Christmas gift is being able to sleep before midnight on Saturday for the rest of the year. Mashle- Give him a second, Mash is just processing the tragic loss of his snack. My dude you absolutely cannot handle it. You're a very dumb boy but a good boy. And then he died. I'm sure you didn't need most of those organs that just ruptured. Maybe focus your attention on a girl who's not a total bitch. BEAT HIS ASS, SON. Joke's on you, magic is no match for raw physical violence. I love watching violence. That's one, fuckface. Punch him in the dick next! Hey look a diversion. He just backhanded that thing into next month. Fuck off, you horrible brat. We stan a gender-inclusive violence boy. Contractually-mandated girlfriend is adorable. I can't wait to see that entire dorm get punch-murdered. Hey kiddo your pants are glowing. Wooow. Ah yes, the good ol' Sorting Unicorn Skeleton. This show is a gift. Mash's only weakness is doors. No really what the fuck is with the creepy puppet doll. What the fuck did I just watch. What the fuck. Mash buddy we gotta get out of here, this shit ain't right. Exorcist- Has that other girl tried not being an unlikable bitch? In his defense, his brother's told him absolute jack shit about the job. Choose the one with the rifle. I would still try to pet that hellhound. That little pokemon is adorable. Oh honey have some standards for your friends. I always forget that weird puppet kid exists. Calm down there, Mineta. Tonight's theme is terrible girls who should fuck off forever. We'll have so much fun fighting demons together in situations that might kill us! This is your fault and you should feel bad. That pokemon is the only competent character in this episode. Put some pants on, you embarassing shrew. I'm sure she doesn't hate you but I sure do. I forgot eyepatch Seitz is evil. One Piece- Who the fuck let Trebol in here. Can we get Cabbage's horse some medical attention now please. Man, random henchmen are really fucking stupid. I just got disgust whiplash from being jumpscared by Trebol's face. Just let Bellamy die. He sucks and deserves to suffer for his failures. Cry harder, bitch boy. Doflamingo may be a monster but I'm 100% with him on this. I like seeing Bellamy get hurt. I'm actually with Trebol here, that shit was hilarious. I mean he does have a point, Law did walk up and start throwing the first punch here. Oooh is it finally tragic backstory time? Law's so cool. I fully approve of using Bellamy as a meatshield. Meanwhile, shenanigans. I still find the Grandpa Fight unreasonably funny. MY WIFE. Shippin' it. I know so many people who would give everything they have to get the shit kicked out of the mby giant Robin legs. I am so here for the Man Fight. I'd tell these fangirls to have some standards but I can and have done worse. Please punch the shit out of Bellamy. Luffy I've seen you punch your friends in the face before, that's no excuse. Oh my god Law did you really think he could follow a plan. Hey at least it looks cool. Man, Law's really hot. Not a bad place to leave off for the year, I guess.

It's a Christmas miracle, everybody kept their clothes on in the kitchen. Mashle- Which is the dorm for dumb bastards because that's where I belong. I love Mash so much there is not a single braincell rattling around in that skull. It's always time for cream puffs. Oh it's the lolicon. That mandrake is a mood. Give it a cream puff. Plan B, punch the shit out of it. Hey get your Food Wars out of my magic school. How did you turn it into a cream puff. This show is a gift. Hey look, a new punching fight boy. Uh guy what's up with the freaky puppet. I hope you're gonna fight a unicorn out there. He's so obnoxious. Hey now leave the hot dudes alone. Magic scorpions, good enough. Who the fuck are you? You've got it all wrong, Mash doesn't think at all. Oh we gotta fight this jackass now. It's all good, cream puff is fine. SLAP. What is wrong with all you kids?! Aww, he does have some redeeming qualities. You got this, kiddo! Well, this has to be a trap. You don't got this, kiddo. Sorry girl, Mash's only love is cream puffs. Don't worry were were already gonna put him in the hospital anyway. Dude's definitely got a Hisoka fight boner for this. MY CREAM PUFF. He has to die now. Exorcist- Rin still sucks. You two should just fuck already. Get it, Yukio. Bitches be crazy, Yukio. Remember, we're killing billionaires now. Oh right, cooking is the one thing Rin's not garbage at. Kitchen's haunted. You guys really kinda suck at noticing things. So how do I get my house possessed by the food demon. Okay that grandma joke actually got a laugh out of me. That's a pokemon. Never leave Rin alone he'll fuck it up the moment your back is turned. And now they're bros. Look at you acting cringe in public. These girls are awful. He literally said his borther does the cooking you dumb bitches. They deserve to die. We didn't deserve Priest Dad. Bitches be crazy, Yukio. One Piece- Fucking children of the corn little brat here. I hope he drew another derpbirb. I like when Usopp gets to be cool. Y'know what I respect these random guys charging into battle with their push brooms. Law by now you should know better than to ask Luffy about his plans. Fuck you, child! Listen to Law for once and just ditch the creepy little brat. This is all Kanjuro's fault. Oh goddammit Luffy can't resist free snacks. Now would be a great time to shoot, Usopp! Aw shit we're fucked. At least Luffy gets to be a cool toy. Meanwhile everyone behind him doing the absolute shittiest job of holding back the mob. Oh neat, he leveled up and learned haki. MISSION STATUS: SICK. He gave her PTSD. A couple of those nutcracker guys are definitely dead. Who the fuck invited Trebol. I now he's evil as all hell but Doflamingo's just so cool.

I only remembered this wasn't a holiday marathon week about two minutes before Hogwarts Fight Club started. Mashle- I have zero doubts that Mash will figure out how to fake it at quidditch. I love this dumbass bruh. Aaaand he immediately shattered his arm. Fangirl is a mood. You gotta jump up there and fuck 'em up, Mash. Oh my god. This is some real Loony Tunes shit and I'm here for it. The ball is now a boomerang. I desperately need Mash and Saitama to hang out. And that's why Mash isn't allowed to play quidditch anymore. Mash is a good boy. I like his mandatory girlfriend. Lance Crown 100% sounds like a OnlyFans name. Joke's on you buddy he's gonna shatter your ribs. Dude he is literally not thinking at all. Meanwhile Large Man and Old Dad bond out in the woods. Oh hey, a spell actually worked on Mash. My dude this boy genuinely could not give a single yodeling fuck. Hey look you dropped your shitty necklace. Holy shit I'm crying. He's right, the answer is cream puffs. I like to think the author saw that one gross creep from Black Clover and agreed he needed to die. Y'all know you can just get a sharpie and call it a day. I'd die for you Mash. You should throw him off the cliff anyway. Exorcist- I'm just waiting for that lady with huge boobs to show up. I'm sure the kids who are actually trying don't mind that Rin gets to skate by on nepotism. Just shut up and measure your dicks already. I'm rooting for the frog. In a surprise twist, everybody hates Satan. That was the night Satan fucked your mom. Thanks for the exposition dump, Charlie Brown. Incompetent Nice Girl vs Total Bitch. Piss off kids, teacher's gotta go get laid. I hate you, kids. Rin you literally didn't know about Satan until like a month ago. I have zero memory of that guy. I forgot they're apparently brothers. Just fuck already. One Piece- My favorite running gag in this arc is Law's constant look of regret at how this has turned out. Obligatory fuck you, Steven Tyler. Rebecca really should have just sat this one out. I KILLED MUFASA. Okay Rebecca it's really important, try not to suck and fail at something for five whole minutes. I'm still amazed her boobs are managing to stay in that top. DILF AHOY. I hope this is a nice father-daughter bonding experience of murdering an aging rock star. Goddammit Rebecca you could at least meet them halfway on the stairs. Law finally gets to do something again! Law, regretting his life slightly less for probably the next five minutes. I like it when Law gets to be cool. Jesus Law what are you doing. Oh right, he got shot in the liver. Law you know damn well this boy is not gonna listen to a plan. Oh fuck no you go right the hell back to sleep you creepy little brat.

Happy early Thanksgiving, I brought the violence. Mashle- I assume he just ripped that entire damn tree out of the ground and only grabbed the root. I love this kid so goddamn much. NYOOM. Eat shit, douche boy. And now, King Douche graces us with an appearance. Joke's on you Mash has zero fucks to give about this. Oh shit, cream puffs. Fuck of dude he was busy baking. Mash kiddo you're probably gonna wanna grow a fuck to give at some point. Sorry Mash I'm gonna kill your roommate on your behalf. I can't wait to watch our boy knock this douchebag's head off. BEAT HIS ASS, SON. Never underestimate the power of just fuckin' wailing on a dude. Mash my dude ya fucked up. Can we punch this man next-YES GOOD. Oh my god what the fuck. Okay so our boy's kind of prone to murder. "You buried the vice principal" is a sentence they've probably never had to say before at this school. Thanks, Dimestore Dumbledore. That sound you hear is his tiny little pea brain rattling around in his skull. Mash, your job is to keep wailing on terrible people. Mash is a good boy and everyone loves him now. I respect the fangirls. DO IT BRUH. Exorcist- It's funny how much of this show rings literally zero bells for me. Yes you're stupid now read your kids books. Did he always have a tail? Rin continues to fucking suck. Oh right, the girl who's cute but incompetent. Oh yeah your legs are fine they're just haunted by plant demons. So like, how did this minor demon get through the demon-proof barrier around the garden that you said was there five minutes ago? Just go the fuck inside for like 20 minutes you dumb brat. It's okay lady it's not your fault that your kid sucks. Girl you've got like $14 and some pocket lint in that purse. Yeah sure you never talked to anyone in the garden except for the fucking talking flower who told you that you'd never leave the garden. She died doing what she loved, being crushed to death by improperly-secured yard structures. It's a plant, just set it on fire. That's what they shot JFK with. One Piece- God, Sabo's hot. Somebody get that horse some medical attention. Oh no Leo, Rebecca is absolutely going to fuck this up if you leave her alone. Hey show thanks for the reminder, for a minute there I forgot about Rebecca's tragic backstory. Aw fuck it's Steven Tyler. Meanwhile Barto continues to have the best goddamn day. Wait, you could make stairs this entire time? Holy shit you killed him. Cut to my boyfriend, seen here trying to immolate an elderly blind man. Joke's on you Fujitora doesn't give a shit. Sabo's so cool. Doflamingo can't destroy the country if this Gravity vs Fire fight destroys it first. I don't know enough about gambling to understand this metaphor. Fuck you, Steven Tyler! I like how Kyros is speedrunning those stairs with only one leg faster than kids half his age. I hope that horse is okay. Law, continuing to regret every decision he's never made. BARTO NO. No you idiot don't die, we'll lose those stairs! Robin can slap me next. I like how we have scenes of all the others working hard and then there's just Franky and Senior Pink doing a choreographed ballet together.

Tonight's theme is apparently magic schools. Mashle- I'd die for you, muscle boy. Stealth. It's fine we drew on him with sharpie. I immediately feel the overwhelming need to punch him. Mash is a good boy and I love him. Ain't this the test from Naruto? This is fantastic. I hope the next test is just violence. Aww she likes him. She is not having a good time here. Oh fuck you, girl. I love my strong muscle son. Hey look, a sphinx. Just let her die. You're right, you suck and deserve to get killed. PUNCHBOY GO. Who needs magic when you have the power of fist. I think my favorite part of all this is his complete indifference to everything. Okay I like her. Fuuuuck yoooou. Why didn't anybody in Harry Potter ever just try that? Don't fuck this up for us, Merlin. He's a certified good boy. Sir I will eat my hat if anything here's stronger than this kid. Nooo, old dad! Joke's on you, old man. Welcome to Hogwarts, Mash. I'd snap your neck like a pretzel without a second thought, grandpa. Jesus christ Mash. I hope the doors are just a running joke here. He's already lost interest, my dude. Exorcist- Priest Dad, still too cool for this show. I'm pretty sure that's the same car my Barbie had 30 years ago. Piss off Rin, not everything is about you. Rin fucking sucks. Mephisto totally isn't a demon, my dude. I have no memory of any of you people. Just a talking dog here, nothing to see. Surprise, your brother's cooler than you. Shut up Rin. GUN. Your dad wouldn't have died if you weren't such a shitty son. Meanwhile the rest of the class is out in the hall wondering what the fuck is going on. One Piece- Yes be sure you stay in stealth mode as you soar through the air on an extremely conspicuous rope of insects. I love Barto so much. We're saving three pricesses in the same arc I bet that's a new record. They're right, why would you give them a plate if they couldn't break it. Horse no! If horse dies we riot. Oh good, the giant nutcrackers are posessed. Not now, Samurai Pennywise! This child has Usopp-related PTSD. Luffy's about to get turned into a Stretch Armstrong. Let that poor derpbirb rest. Meanwhile, MY WIFE. Uh lady you gonna do something here? This is the second time today somebody's accidentally fumbled his way into a girlfriend. I love you, Unmedicated Grandpa. I'm so here for this Old Man Fight. Eyes on the prize, Bartolomeo! He died as he lived, simping for Luffy. Robin I've seen you grow giant wings and fly before. Law, still having the worst day. Oh hey thanks Barto. Ah fuck they gave the key to the one person who's not here. You heard the woman, cheese it!

Black Clover but give it a MC who isn't dogshit. Mashle- Is this a version of Asta I don't immediately hate? Why does everybody have Dr Stone marks on their face? He's dumb as all fuck I love this kid. I would also disobey any order for some good snacks. I am not immune to a terrible large man voiced by Seitz. MY SNACKS. Remember Mash, ACAB. This is my son now and I would die for him. Hey he fixed the door. Awww he brought him snacks. That bird may be cursed and evil but it is pretty. Squirrel. Oh no, the door! Choke me next, I mean wait what. It's too early for a tragic backstory please don't kill his dad. Someone left a baby! This entire situation could have been avoided with a $2 sharpie. HEY KOOLAID MAN. Mash is a good boy. Who needs magic when you can just punch things really hard. Oh my god this is fantastic. This fucking rules. I've trusted worse men over less. I'm so fucking here for Fight Club Hogwarts. Exorcist- I don't remember specifics but I'm pretty sure this doesn't go well for Priest Dad. I hate it when I'm possessed by demons and forget I got my ass beat. Here kiddo have a sword. Y'all should have fortified that barrier against trucks. Demon demon demon demon mushroom mushroom. Somebody whips out a shotgun and shit instantly gets good. Oh right, that's why I hate this kid. This is all your fault, Rin. Priest Dad was too cool for this show. This is the most anime-looking motherfucker I've ever seen. One Piece- We have a new pricess to save. I love Franky's theme. How many Straw Hats have had their tits used as a transportation service during this arc? Tiny Grandpa still cracks me up. I've had several managers in my life that had this exact same vibe. i need Senor Pink and Franky to be best friends. The Care Bear strategy is a bold move, let's see if it pays off. Wicca no! Franky's about to get a visit from HR. I've had several managers in my life I'd like to do that to. Bro what. So what are we? Sooooo manly. This arc has a lot of issues but I goddamn love these two fighting each other. Meanwhile I'm glad Kyros is having a nice time babysitting. Barto continues to be an absolute mood. Usopp, not having a good time here. Viola they will absolutely hand your dad over to die to save their own shit. Oh hey, Kinemon. I'd die for you Derpbirb. Goddammit Pennywise! I don't remember if we know what her power is or not. Hey maybe she's hidden in the creepy dungeon where we send princesses to suffer. Oh my god she's so cute we have to save her.

I have zero interest in Fight Girl but I hope whoever's watching it enjoys it. Exorcist- All I remember about this show is there's a lady with huge cans so let's see how much else rings a bell. Oh, I remember I hate this kid. The moral of this story is that teens are monsters. Is there an exorcist you can call to remove a deadbeat sibling from your home, asking for a friend. Retail sucks, kiddo. That's still better than any Black Friday when I worked at Walmart. Thank you for saving my idiot dipshit toddler, random teen. Y'know just the secret sword armory that all priests have. That teen's not even possessed that's just how teens are now. Surprise, your priest dad is cool. Well son you're adopted. One Piece- I love One Piece animals so much. Oh right, these giant nutcracker monsters are here. Meanwhile Pica's voice is still cracking me up. I'm here for more of Zoro's trash talk. Barto, still having the best day. Zoro's so damn cool. Hearing that giant man scream in that tiny little voice killed me. He sounds like a fucking muppet. Zoro has the best theme music. Me too, Barto. Meanwhile, oh right the factory. I like Tiny Grandpa here, he seems like a good dude. I have no room to talk when sitting my fat ass in front of a screen with a bunch of cake is my favorite past time in life. Stop tricking my idiot little friends! That'll do, pig. Aw but the snail looks so good with that outfit. We've been smeckledorfed! That sign won't stop me because I can't read. This is a trap. Meanwhile, a fight that's 50% crotch shots. I need these two to be hardboiled man friends forever. That's also how I feel about my managers. Defeat via vacuum cleaner has to be the worst way to lose. I know I just said Zoro's theme is the best but Franky's music also slaps.

In a pleasant surprise, the Toonami original didn't have the worst ending on the block tonight. That counts as a win! Uzumaki- Alright in the grand tradition of Toonami originals, let's see how bad this shits the bed at ths end. Oh for the love of uck why would you go INTO this town. Okay the Tornado Rodeo Cowboys is a thing I wasn't expecting. Shuichi's having a real bad time. It's time to accept that your dad's gone completely bonkers and ditch him. Goddammit it's just more snails! Oh that's nasty. Noooot a fan of where this is going. I don't know enough about dragonflies to understand this reference. At least those guys I hate are dead now. This is why you should never volunteer to do nice things! Your mom is definitely about to die. This must be the work of an enemy stand. Dude don't tell them that, they'll never let you in. I'm sure it comes off more suspenseful in the manga but blowing air twisters at each other just feels really goofy. Oh, that's not supposed to happen. Girl give up on your weird nutso dad. Well, this could be going better. Mmmmm fresh sneople meat. Shuichi broke. Brother's definitely a snail now. Thanks for nothing, asshole! So why don't the blaring sirens activate the twisters? Surprise, you're stuck in a giant spiral! Maybe you should try not following the path. Good news we got dinner. Ewwww don't eat it raw. Shuichi deserved better. Hey you leave my weird misshapen hunchback brother alone. Sorry gang I don't think there's any hiding this one. Yeet that child. Man, that new lady is really handling all this bonkers shit like a champ. The poor building codes of the past will bhe the death of us all. This feels like a bad idea. It's been a rough couple of hours for that guy. Ah hell the dramatic music's kicking in. I'll give 'em one thing, this amorphous blob of once-human souls is a hell of a construction worker. Could y'all not just climb on the roof? Might be time to find a snerson and chow down, just saying. Whelp, she's dead. Oh I got a real bad feeling about this. Shuichi is the boyfriend none of us deserve. Now you've got spiral rabies. Never trust stairs. Well, that's weird. In a surprise twist, your crazy parents are dead. Oh honey you're going to die in like five minutes. So hey, what the fuck? Ah hell here we go again. I feel like this last episode was better than the middle two but the entire show would have massively benefited from slower pacing and probably like two more episodes. Honestly though, it shit the bed way less than most Toonami originals and we can probably thank Junji Ito entirely for that. Demon Slayer- Is it too late to be consumed by bone-shattering spiral curse instead of sitting through an hour of this? This show really seems to overestimate how much I enjoy watching whiny cowards run away. I miss my loud obnoxious boyfriends. The longer it takes them to deal with this annoying little fucker, the less respect I have for them. It's fine, Tanjiro will have a dramatic flashback to a loved one that gives him a last burst of determination to succeed. Who the fuck invited Zenitsu to this arc. Nyoom. I mean we got like 45 minutes left there's definitely an escape. Oh for fuck's sake Tanjiro! I do like when Nezuko gets to do things. If you're going over the cliff say hi to that snail kid. How the shit are all of Tanjiro's bones not completed obliterated. Is he losing another sword again. Look if you're gonna be a side character and dumb as shit then you deserve to die for it. Sword! Shut the fuck up guy just let this end already. I swear to all fuck if this doesn't behead him I'm jumping out the nearest window. Oh right, Nezuko can't get in the sun. He's not dead yet, you idiot! Oh this is some bullshit. And then Nezuko died. Maybe that minimally-injured shitty child could help. Nezuko's had enough of your bullshit. This is why vampires wear capes. Oh yeah I'm sure she's really super dead for real. I'd like to state for the record that this is the point where my stream spend five minutes endlessly buffering, I assume out of protest for having to play it. in a surprise twist, this guy sucked and died pathetically in his human life too. I'd ask what I missed and what's happening but I really can't bring myself to care. How in the fuck? Is this some Wizard of Oz "you always had the power to go home" bullshit where they could have purified her in the sun at any point? Oh right, all his organs are liquefied. I wonder how Boobs Mcgee is doing. I know I literally just asked but man that's a disappointing end to her fight. Oh right, the bad guy is still a 10-year old sometimes, for some reason. Searching for the what now? Shit's kinda too little too late for some crumb of backstory on your main villain, show. So he really just became a demon out of nowhere for no discernible reason, got it. Maybe you shouldn't have killed that guy, you dumbass. Maybe we should get Tanjiro some medical attention now. This show answers the age-old question, can a man be so annoying I actively want him to die despite being hot? I'm glad Nezuko's actress finally gets to earn a paycheck. I forgot all about this doctor lady. I have no memory of that cat but I'd die for it. So hey maybe you guys should move now that your town's location has been totally compromised by demons. I wish everyone in this town had died. I know I've complained about the show a lot in the past but this arc was some real dogshit through and through.

I assume the Blue Exorcist rerun was either dirt cheap, or maybe even outright free if they also picked up the sequel. Whine about it if you want, but that's a smart budget move if they did essentially get two shows for the price of one and locked in a slot for most of the year. I've heard good things about Mashle and from what I know this is basically the plot:

Is every other show ending next week? Is November just gonna be six episodes of One Piece at a time? Uzumaki- Oh shit what now. Oh no, take that poster down! Bro there doesn't have to be a separate curse involved, mosquitos are a curse all on their own. I got a real bad feeling about all these suspiciously pregnant women. And now your dad's making haunted pottery. Fucking mosquitos, again! Great job poisoning the pregnant girl with toxic spray, buddy. OH I DON'T LIKE THAT. Just an entire squad of crazy pregnant vampire bitches running around the hospital, great. Where the fuck did they get those drills anyway? Thank god for that toxic spray. Fucking centipedes! This episode is gonna kickstart my period purely out of self defense. Meanwhile, things are not going well for your batshit crazy mom. For the love of god do not tell her about the ear spiral. This poor lady is having the worst time. OW FUCK. Correction, Shuichi is having the worst day. You know every single one of those babies is fucking cursed. Those mushrooms are haunted. OH THAT'S NOT RIGHT. I'd like to get off this ride now please. Hey boy who just lost his entire family, come party at our house. Oops, all spirals! Shit's haunted as all fuck. You could just leave town and not come back, you know. Man those spirals really did a number on that dumbass hair girl. I'm no meteorologist but I'm pretty sure it's not good when a storm starts sinisterly whispering your name. My leg! Y'all really should have just fucked off out of town when you had the chance. Everything else in this town may be cursed and evil but Shuichi is knocking the World's Best Boyfriend challenge out of the park. Don't worry about it, it's just or neighbor Quasimodo. There is no way this is gonna go okay. Well at least the creepy stalker pervert is just normal fucked up and not extra fucked up. RIP rat. Y'know I completely forgot about this stupid weirdo from last week. Demon Slayer- I'm rooting for Boobs Mcgee here and no one else. Oh right, I almost forgot the show's need to shoehorn in ineffective attempts at comedy between every action moment it has. I do think the whip sword is genuinely neat. It's a trap! Tanjiro you could have mentioned that at literally any moment before this. Honestly, great job at tanking that hit. It's fine, her boobs took the brunt of the attack. Literally fuck off, random dude. Aww, she's adorable. Now what horrible tragedy befalls her in this flashback. So you gonna explain how her hair suddenly turned pink when it was naturally black in the last scene? Girl there are so many people who would kill to have you suplex them through a table. Aww, the weird snake boy likes her. BEAT HIS ASS. Eat shit, drum boy. I'm here for the ribbon dancing. Tanjiro's not even using his super nose, you can just smell this guy shitting himself in terror from half a mile away. Use the teeth, they're nature's scissors! Wait what, how long as that been a thing? Tanjiro really does suck at his job. Shut up you ugly little bastard I don't care. One Piece- I enjoy that all of Doflamingo's crew is just various shades of weird and dumb as hell. Horse is the real MVP here. I love my bitch wife. Come on let the grandpas fight. There is no stronger force that unites people than just really fucking hating the same dude. Not this time, gay boy! It's a rock, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles! Good news we found Samurai Pennywise. That lettuce don't look right, bro. That's a big paint brush. Oh, he's got some kinda fruit. Derpbirb is suffering. I absolutely love this stupid bird. I don't trust those ladders. Constantly impressed with the kicking power of this little twink. Cabbage you know damn well Luffy's not paying attention to this. Doflamingo's just here to have a good time and I respect that. I love them they're so fucking stupid. Hey guys I think something's coming. The hell are those things? Ah hell why do I feel like that little toy brat's awake.

This cult of crazy pregnant mosquito vampires is gonna kickstart my period entirely out of self defense.

If I had a nickel for every anime I've watched where people inexplicably turn into snails against their will, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't much but it's weird that it's happened twice. Uzumaki- I got a real bad feeling about this slow kid here. Are those snakes fighting or fucking each other. Yeah I'd probably vote we stop cremating bodies after that shit too. Fuck off dude, you're annoying. Whatever bonkers curse is going on can go ahead and kill this guy. Somehow this is gonna be a worse outcome for the tragic star-crossed teenage lovers than Shakespeare. Meanwhile, your mom's still nuts. Damn hair curse. OH, THAT AIN'T NORMAL. Uh hey it's probably time that you stipped bullying the abhorrent freak of nature there. Start crossing your fingers that you look good bald. Girl this is not some kind of attention whore contest. Ohhhh that's real fucked up. Oh good, the asshole boy is also cursed now. Meanwhile, this obnoxious jackass. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Maybe the abhorrent freaks of nature will kill each other. Girl fuck off. What kind of weird Jojo fight is this. No stop you're gonna get tangled! Please tell me her hair gets caught in the power line and kills her. They're giant snails how the fuck do you lose them? WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK. No, you let him destroy every one of those eggs right now. Literally everybody should be trying to get the fuck out of town right now. In a weird way, this isn't the worst way this love story could have ended. Look on the bright side at least your new hair is cute. I feel like I've done that while I was drunk at least once. For the love of god do not go to that lighthouse for any reason. SHIT IT KEEPS HAPPENING. Look you've just gotta let your stupid idiot brother die. You stupid idot children! Aw hell nah that's fucking Sauron. Catch me jumping out that goddamn window. MOVE FASTER YOU STUPID CHILDREN. I love my siblings but make no mistake I will absolutely leave them for dead if needed. JESUS FUCK. Demon Slayer- We get it nothing can break his sword-sharpening focus can we please move on already. He's in the zone, auto zone. Can confirm, there's no stronger force than just really fucking hating a dude. Guy you're the one with the stupid creepy little baby arms. Not a fan of this bland trash talk. Still rooting for the fish monsters, those little bastards crack me up. Tonight's theme is apparently fucked up snakes. Well at least he upgraded from the baby arms. So his ultimate power is to generate fish, that is less than impressive. Oh that shit's nasty. Oh, make windchimes out of his ribcage! POV I'm caught in the produce section of the grocery store when the misters go off. You're dead, bro. Shut up shut up shuuuut uuuuup. Alright I'll admit that was a solid post-fight one liner. I constantly forget that guy exists with the fucked up face. Not now, bumbling excuse for comedy! Of course the annoying child survived. Hey, why's my obnoxious boyfriend here. Again, why does your dad look exactly like Tanjiro? Speaking of Tanjiro, I forgot he's fighting a hydra. All of you should really be dead by now. Shit is not going well, gang. Whelp, you're boned. BOOBS AHOY. I like that she fights with ribbon dancing. MY FERAL HOG SON I MISS YOU. One Piece- Fuck off, Bellamy. Take your cues from Doflamingo, if you're gonna be a festering bag of dicks at least have some good style. Dellinger's just out here having a great time and I respect that. Surprise, gored! I'm rooting for you, Angry Santa. Those are Pica's nuts. I knew morbid obesity can kill but not like that. I vibe with Unmedicated Grandpa. Date me, gun wife. Meanwhile, oh right this birdcage thing is pretty fucked up. Thanks, broom army. I hope the navy imports in some therapy after this. I trusted you, Random Mustache Hat Guy! Meanwile, Kinemon is best at stealth. Oh no my tiny little friends! Show I can't read Japanese please gimme a subtitle. FUCK 'EM UP, LIL DUDES. Let the grandpas fight it out. God I love my wife. Potato Sack Law continues to crack me up. Oh hey Kyros where'd you come from. That poor horse. Fuck you, Steven Tyler. Thanks for the assist, my dudes. Teamwork makes the dream work.

I'm counting Uzumaki as a late birthday present to myself. Uzumaki- Oh boy I can't wait to piss my pants in fear. Even if everything else turns out to suck, this show already looks damn beautiful. Don't just to conclusions maybe he's just whacked out on something really good. This girl is really cute. That is not the dad ass I wanted to see on this block. Oh yeah he's probably fine here mentally. No big deal just your run-of-the-mill cursed scar that makes men fall in love with you. Our dude's not having a good time here. Want it or not you're still gonna have to pay for that. OH HEY THAT'S NOT NORMAL. RIP to this guy who's about to get murdered. Uh hey girl you might wanna see a dermatologist about that scar. Boy this sure escalated quickly. Fucking stairs. I got a bad feeling about that large, out of place tub. Hey what the fuck. I'm no meteorologist but I'm pretty sure the sky's not supposed to do that. HEY WHAT THE FUCK. Mom broke. I'm sure the ominous twisters are nothing to worry about. Girl you really should get that scar checked out by a medical professional. I bet you could get rid of him if you showed him your creepy gross forehead. I don't know where we're going with this weird kid but I don't think it's anywhere good. Teens are the fucking worst. Ohhhh that's not a good omen. Oh that's real fucked up. I'd like to get off this ride now please. Bro you better start running. This would be the exact moment where I pussied out and skipped town forever. Demon Slayer- I completely forgot he was poisoned. I can't stop laughing at those stupid fish monsters. I don't care if he was a lumberjack, was he hot? Eh, looks too much like Tanjiro for my taste. Man, real rough show to be a mom in. This backstory seems unnecessarily tragic to the point it feels hollow. I'm pretty sure Garbage Fire Dilf is the only parent we've seen who's survived to present day. Here, have this unlikable asshole child. "You might attract boars" he says as I sit here hoping Inosuke comes barreling out of the forest. Am I supposed to know who this is? Your brother sucks and I hope he dies. The kid's like ten with zero fighting skills and yet you only managed to cut off an arm, you useless bag of shit demon. I'm not lucky enough for this little bastard to have died. Genuinely how the fuck are you still alive. I'm glad he died. Oh right, that annoying child is bleeding out. Oh right, the surprisingly attractive one is here. This may be my fault. Okay the sword sharpening bit is getting old real fast. Heart disease, the most powerful demon of all. Fuck you and your stupid vase, guy. So why did this guy have amnesia anyway? One Piece- Doflamingo just went through all that trouble to set up his own ass beating. He may be a bag of shit but by god does this man have style. MOOCY NO! Oh we gotta kill him now. Meanwhle Law sits there and continues to regret every decision he's ever made. Come on give me the tragic Law flashback already. Oh hey, those dudes. Well that was ultimately pointless. Save our cow at all costs. I hope Franky builds Kyros a cool new cyborg leg after this. Thanks, random old man! Fuck you, random old man! Honestly surprised that these two dumb bastards managed to be any help at all. Instant shortcut just add punching. Can we please get Moocy some medical attention. I love that Angry Santa is so happy now. Please save my cow. Meanwhile, shit's still on fire. Sabo's doing surprisingly good in this fight considering he's had his power for all of like, fifteen minutes. Pantsless fight, continue! What factory. God I fucking love Barto. He's gonna piss on everything. Bold move whipping your dick out while being shot at. Obligatory fuck you, Bellamy. Oh boy, tragic backstory time! Tiny Law did not fuck around.

Thanks y'all! I treated myself to a new little guy to celebrate:

For my birthday I get my favorite thing, an attractive man doing cool things while on fire. Demon Slayer- Tanjiro's kinda just really bad at his job. How the fuck many of these bastards are there!? I'm pretty sure I already made a joke about this being a hydra situation but that's a literal damn hydra. Nezuko is here to do her once-per-episode support work. With your powers combined, I am Captain Planet! Is that demon just here to fill the show's quota of Annoying Pissbaby Coward while Zenitsu's away? So are they ever gonna expain why that kid suddenly started looking like a demon or nah. No, YOU'RE stupid! Meanwhile let's see what Creepy Baby Arms is up to. This dude's been holding his breath for like 47 minutes. Wait if he has mist powers couldn't he just control the water? Why is Inner Mind Tanjiro here. Fuck off buddy this is my dilapidated shed. HEY GIMME ATTENTION. Oh hey this one's hot I have a reason to care now. What the shit kind of motivational speech is this. Honestly I'd rather just die than deal with this kid again. Okay that fish monster genuinely made me laugh with the stupid can opener claw and mustache. I don't think mouth to mouth is supposed to work like that. Who the fuck is that? Y'know with most of the characters this arc wearing the exact same stupid mask, I genuinely didn't realize the surprisingly hot guy was that one dude we already knew. One Piece- Shut up and show me Law's tragic backstory. Speaking of hot dudes hey look it's Sabo. This is going too well. Once again, GET OFF MY COW. Cabbage, an attention whore I can get behind. Guys don't fight you're all stupid and hilarious. Yo, shit's on fire. Date me Sabo. My dude you realize their boss is Luffy's dad right? Hey look, somebody actually smart enough to realize when bullets don't work. BEAT HIS ASS, BOYFRIEND. Sabo's so cool. Sabo can commit a little arson, as a treat. It's okay just blame the pirates for all your unfathomably property damage. What else them fingers do, baby. And then Fujitora killed everyone. Fun story Sabo's actually a little bit batshit crazy. I miss Ace. Oh come on it's my birtday don't twist that knife. Sabo's a good dude. I'd die for that cow. Don't you shoot my cow! Oh hey Cabbage where'd you come from. Oh hey everybody, where'd you come from. I love Moocy so much. Oh right, it's the guy who turns into a jacket. Oh this is an obvious trap and I say that having immediately forgotten the episode title. Never trust a man who chooses to become a jacket. Law, still regretting every choice he's made in his life. Well at least we got rid of these particular dumb bastards. Barto still being an eternal mood. I got a bad feeling about this. They're about to yeet Usopp across the city aren't they. Uh guys is anything supposed to be happening. Oh yeah I'm sure the Jacket Fruit user really stands a chance here. Those beetles are adorable. Leo sweetie you realize there's a size problem here. And then everyone died. I love Barto. Oh hey, it works. Well hey we're technically not dead. Robin's just showing off now. Oh right, that factory. This is the crotch shot we deserve. I genuinely love the vibes between these two. Pica's voice still cracking me up. I am here for Zoro's trash talk in this fight. It's a trap! Moocy we gotta get out of here right now. Guys you know you don't have to just stand there and wait for the reveal right. Joke's on you buddy, this is literally the fight Luffy came here for.