mthor

Your memory is worse than mine, which is actually kind of scary.

I feel like that every year.

You can train the kid to take a bink - it's a matter of substituting one for another. I don't know if you're joking about the hot sauce, but if you're not, that's a pretty sadistic thing to do to an infant. Sucking is just about the only way babies have to self-soothe, whether it be on a thumb or a pacifier. . Hot sauce on a three month old's hand would be roughly equivalent to getting hit in the crotch with a taser every time you tried to fap.

And I will cower with dread. Later.

Time for a pacifier.

One day, we get a pic of your cute kiddo, then next, we get one of you fisting yourself. The variety makes my head hurt.

Maybe she just doesn't like the smell of cheap beer.

Ah, that makes sense. The math wasn't working out in my head as far as you not looking old enough.

A kiss on the wrist may be quite continental, but tasers are a girl's best friend...

Wait, whoa - I believe that it's possible for you to be a great aunt. Not particularly likely, but possible. But a great grand aunt? I call bullshit.

It's more fun to ignore him. It makes him cry.

Mid to late 30's? I'm just guessing by how old my youngest sister was when my granddaughter was born, but then again, she's 12 years younger than I am.

During the winter, some friends and I go to the diner in town for breakfast every Sunday. Back in the 40's and 50's, my grandmother owned the place, so, even though she sold it well before I was born, there's kind of a family connection to the place. And now, after years of Sundays, we've reached "regular" status - the waitresses all know what we usually order. It's the better side of small town living.

Hey! It's not the worst combination in the world.

not in this case.

Not very much.

They're not coming to kill you, but if you answer it, the phone will emit a power blast of infreasound that will turn your brain to pudding. So no, strictly speaking, they're not coming to kill you, they're trying to kill you.

No way in hell.

that, or he spent the evening in the ER after one of his students took a swing at him.

bayberry and cinnamon

No, no. Once it turns white, it's permanent.

He might have been, but I wonder about now - he's doing commercials for the General. Granted, the only time I've watched TV in the past two years was when I was at my daughter's for 6 weeks, so maybe he's got something else going on, but playing second fiddle to an animated guy wearing an army helmet, selling cut-rate car insurance?)

Seriously - he has as much grey as I do, and I'm old enough to be his mother.

It looks like your hairline is receding, and you're getting thin on the top already. And no, they won't think you're supernatural. They'll think you're old.