Still Me

Yep...that culinary degree sitting at my bar says otherwise fuck nut

Says the guy that eats scorched eggs...

I think it’s time that you face the fact that no women wants to try with you

You need more friends...that aren’t pussies

Yeah...so....I hear if you press your face as close as you can to the little window as hard as you can while your food is cooking...it cooks faster...go do that

Then how does she live in the world...

Heh.....I don’t know...I think I have to roll for that

I figured I’d get drunk and pass out on the couch instead

Wait....does that work?

was roped into hanging out over at a friends house this weekend...the she like...texts me and start spouting about dungeons and dragons and I’m like “I’m happy for you...but I have zero idea what you’re talking about”....then she starts telling me I have to build a character sheet cause this weekend is D&D night and we are playing... i was not asked i was told....that I would be playing... and no matter how many times I’ve said “I have ZERO concept of what the fuck you’re talking about nor will I be ‘role playing’..” she can’t get the fucking hint..... she just sent me the beginners guide for this...fifth fucking edition of the game.... i dont want to play....i don’t DO table tops.....and she is fucking making me

Death by....

Your death will not be Swift my friend

Like sand in a vagina... these are the days of trollolol

No offense but would that make you go to the doctor more? To catch shit in time to actually treat?

never said I wasn’t but your opinion matters so little to me...it’s almost like you don’t exist...

Omg I can’t breathe...I was...the fuck are you talking about...went back to read the title and started pissing myself laughing.... I’m gonna argue that it’s not my fault...I was at a comic shop getting Eric Vales signature...

Refining fight tour?

It’s swine flu

You think we haven’t?

I think he’d look like John DuPont

Woot woot..I’ll check it out

If I wanted any shit from you I’d squeeze your fuckin head...sit down kidney and stay in your lane

Eat fucking shit

You’re in dire need of getting your ass beat

Drop dead you fucking loser