GuyBeardmane

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe He-Man: Jason Momoa Teela: Michelle Rodriguez Man-At-Arms: Liam Neeson Skeletor: Frank Langella (because he was the fucking BOMB in the first Masters of the Universe movie)

I don't know about pumped. Makes me feel affectionate.

I mean they both make me shout "Oh god." You're a smart one.

In fact, why even bother with traditions at that point?

Went with the dressing, because fuck dry turkey but dressing is fucking awesome. Also both my grammas are dead and I don't have an Uncle Dave. I have two Uncle Bobs, and Uncle Charlie, and an Uncle Mike, but no Uncle Dave.

Is the Turkey thick and juicy? Or even t h i c c and juicy?

I mean I get it. I've lost porn from years ago myself. Had a porn star friend I talked to on the reg and supported her art and bought her supplies she used in her work, and those videos were lost about seven years ago. I miss them.

I may not be your father, but I can be your daddy. Any innuendo you read it that is your fault.

Never get attached to your porn, because you're going to lose it. If you pay for the porn, then definitely keep several hardcopy backups. But if it's free, then just let it go after you're done because it's gonna be replaced by something else.

but why are you burning CDRs of porn? I mean it's all just free on the internets. Don't have to waste physical media.

But what if the cast of Thundercats was in the Game of Thrones universe? Lion-o vs. Jon Snow. Fund it.

You don't know the half of it.

Crying while masturbating to hentai featuring anthropomorphic turkeys.

I mean you make an interesting point, but I'm talkin' 'bout I'm that guy you find at the table in the inn who says only one line of dialogue in the entire 80 hours of the game. Like people go about and do incredible things and save the world and I'm still sitting there saying "Sigh... Times are tough."

Becaaaaaauuuuuse... No one's slick as Gaston No one's quick as Gaston No one's neck's is incredibly thick as Gaston For there's no man in town half as manly, Perfect, a pure paragon You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley and they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on

when you're an NPC in your own life?

You got the monkeys? LET'S SEE THE MONKEYS

FOOL!

I want 75 golden camels. And purple peacocks, I want 53. When it comes to exotic-type mammals, I want a zoo, I'm telling you I want a world class menagerie.

Why save that for break ups? That's a regular Thursday, buddy.

Eggs, you say. And more than five dozen...

To steal a joke from Norm MacDonald, "my heart goes out to the Manson Family." See, 'cause the Manson Family killed and ate people.