Zenigundam

I'm not a Pokeman man, but if I had to choose one I'd go with Sandshrew because whenever I played Red and Blue, I never wanted to evolve the dude because I knew he was a hustler who acted shy but would kill other pokemon out the blue. Lemme write that in my diary. More rap bars

Incel

Yeah because it ended like 3 minutes ago. Don't worry, kid, it's not in the cards for you. I can be pushing 30 and easily look like I'm 22. 👨‍💼

This girl is amazing...

I'm making out with a sexy, legal age, teenage hottie as we speak. She tells me she's the head cheerleader at her high school and wants me to go to senior prom with her, but is worried about me getting past security even though I look young as fuck. So I can't be on the internet and text on here from my phone and have a life, even though this sexy biddie is giving me a hickey right now? 😢

I'm more into fun shit. Like let's get hammered and get Domino's. You know what I mean?

Why do they keep comparing me to ER when I preceded him by so long? I'm not "The Supreme Gentleman"? Do I seem like a wine and caviar guy to any of you?

I mean you're flipping over an honest UEMB comment. I can already see it happening. You're gonna lose it in the heat of the moment in an argument over prices, knock down a rack of clothing, and then the Foot Locker guy in the referee uni is gonna put you in a Forest Griffin chokehold. 👨‍💻

I tried. I thought to myself that maybe I was the problem, but then you guys validated me and made me realize I was actually the solution.

Do I need to wear a body cam every time I go out in public? ... Just for your entertainment?! Trust me. PhilopsherStoned needs to chill before I watch him on YouTube in a similar mall incident. 🐶

This guy's losing it. I saw a guy like this get restrained by mall security today.

The lost cause generation Stuck in a cloud of confusion, regret, and guilt I tried to save them 6-9 years ago, but it was all radio silence. I wish them well. 👨‍⚖

Ya know, I do message girls in the 28-33 range, but if they don't respond, you've gotta blame them for making 17-20 the glorious range. 🤷‍♂️

Dude, you're way out of it. Don't open that bottle, it's messin with your head. I know, but I never saw her on Lithium because she was kicking it in CD with Milarkie and probably sunnysidez and the like and I did post a lot in WSC, but you guys never looked at my brilliant material, now Williams Street is looking for an OG like me to get back on track, anyway I don't have to explain this simple concept of dude because I see Gen Z and their weak movements have made you forget what was always true. 😪

Do you really think I would engage in illegal and illicit activities with young (legal age) women? Come on now... 🐼

I know I am. That's why I love those sexy, legal age, 17 year old women who are coming out of tennis practice and hit the bus tape just to get off, get their numbers, give them a sweet kiss, and then catch the next bus. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

See, when this happens to me, we end up getting first date chases through the Applebee's parking lot. 💁‍♂️

Dude, you're too young to drink.

Fulfill your job obligations and TRAIN. THAT. MAN. Come on, seriously, what else are you gonna do in your free time? Two weeks is nothing. I've gone a year and a half without a car and it feels natural, takes me back to my younger days

I'm not even opening that link. I can tell just by the wording of the URL that it was written by metrosexual we men who are desperate to bare minimum be cool be with the supermodels and shemen.

Oh don't worry I got the reference. I just didn't take it seriously because it was coming from a dude who was projecting his own self image on me. As a matter of fact, lemme hit up some of these hot bitches. Be right back

I don't wear anything pink. That's pretty effeminate if you ask me. I care about breast cancer, but the effeminate clothing and ribbons can (Gordon Ramsay voice) F$%@ OFF! 👨‍🍳

And here comes the pink slip...

I'm a business partner in the matter, not a scientist. But do you really know about 💵💵💵? You're lacking in that area... 💁‍♂️

You're trying too hard, dude. It ain't working. 😸