Codename: Jackass

I bought two 24 oz PBRs from the Exxon on my way home, AMA.

Did it stare back into you? Give details please.

Back in high school when Awesome Show Great Job! was airing regularly, I was on this trip to a college to do a workshop on One Act Play. Me and this really sheltered ultra-Christian guy roomed together, and his parents didn't let him watch cable because it's full of bullshit (my words, not his, and I can kind of see their point tbh famalam). Anyway, the La Quinta had Cartoon Network and I put it on Adult Swim when he gave me the remote, and I put it on AS right as they were airing this bit. I thought it was pretty funny but he really had no idea what to make of it, he played it off like "heh heh, that's weird" but I think it troubled him. I felt kind of bad for upsetting him, he was a good guy who got bullied a little bit.

I always isolate myself from the people who care about me. The troubling thing is that they never check in on me. I guess I'm broken in some fundamental way. Oh well.

Ur gonna get CTE

Why are you doing this to me?

The more you do, the more they'll expect from you.

I predicted 4-1 for the Dubs and I think I'm going to end up being right. It ain't going to seven, that's certain.

It's time for another Running on Empty... Food Review!

3DPD

Fuck 'em

CAN YOU GET ME DRAKE'S AUTOGRAPH?

My money's on Wiz Khalifa.

CAN YOU GET ME DANNY BROWN'S AUTOGRAPH?

CAN YOU GET ME ASAP FERG'S AUTOGRAPH?

Boom.

You'll cowards.

None of you know who my alt is.

HOPEFULLY WE'LL CROSS PATHS ONE DAY. MY BULLY IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WAS NAMED JOSH, I WISHED HE'D DIE EVERY DAY.

DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT MALT-O-MEAL.

I used to have the same problem with people named Chase and Josh but I met a cool Chase in college and the name has been redeemed. Josh, not so much. Sorry if any of you are named Josh.

SOMEHOW I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY SHIT. I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT I KNEW IT.

The Trey I knew didn't get the promotion he'd been gunning for and went to the Operations Manager and threw an actual tantrum in her office about it. He quit shortly after.

I worked with a guy named Trey, he was a bitch and a know-it-all.