Codename: Jackass

I fuckin' paid you already, stop calling me three times a day, I ain't pickin' it up.

I'm a really big baby. I'm a big giant baby man. Ever seen a big baby man lift a hundred pounds over his head?

Soundcloud is living on borrowed time anyway. It's no wonder that they'd push you in any way possible to pony up the cash for a subscription.

At first I was with you. A year of corn. Solid idea. Then I came to a realization. I like corn, but if I had to eat a couple ears every day, I'd end up just giving it all to a food bank, which is not a bad thing, but then they're going to have almost an entire year of fresh corn and they can't get rid of all of it, so it's going to go bad anyway. Do I take it in a flatbed and pass it out on the street? Do I let my inner capitalist shine and sell it three ears for a dollar? What the fuck am I gonna do with this corn, dude?

Thanks man. Be careful on your heroin experiment.

That is only part of the problem. Kill these: Sedentary lifestyles Candy, soda, suguary drinks, basically anything that has added sugar Misinformation about the process of weight gain and loss Ignorance of how energy is stored in human bodies Ignorance of the importance of following a strict diet plan Overeating in general Calories in/calories out is the key. No magic pill, juice cleanse, fad diet is going to cause long term weight loss, just like eating "bad stuff" a few times a year isn't going to cause long term weight gain. That stuff about slow metabolisms or thyroid problems does exist, but for most average people, reducing caloric intake or burning more calories than you eat over the long run will absolutely cause fat loss. It's an addiction and willpower issue. Sugar and fat are readily available for an insanely cheap price, because food companies know that if they addict the consumer, they have a customer for life. It's in their best interest to keep people fat and stupid.

Could you change my title back to Art Vandelay? Thanks.

What could possibly go wrong?

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existential catchphrase “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. ? And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid ?

you gotta post the whole copypasta.

Monderators, please lock this thread.

I bet he's expensive.

I don't understand what that means.

Every day is a day.

hell yeah I'm signing up I'M COMIN' FOR YOU, JOSH. YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE HOT SHIT IN 4TH GRADE BUT YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED.

I won't tell the sturgeons about your ding-ding.

Damn, son.

I'm gonna go to work this afternoon and try not to get mad over things I can't control.

There are a lot of bleeps and bloops in this kind of music. That beep stops once the melody kicks in though.

I live in semi-rural Texas. Literally nothing changed. Some dumbass kids put Confederate flags in the backs of their trucks and displayed them in the parking lot of the high school recently, so there's that.

I always wanted to eviscerate someone with zero consequences.

btw this is what I'm listening to nobody cares but I'm putting it out there world is a fuck