Codename: Jackass

Pull out your eyes and stare, with your hands, at your share.

Space aliens who want to know why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

It's just one room, the rest of the house is clean. The more concerning issue is that the rest of the house is full of ears.

The eyes are all over the walls, ceiling and floor. You hear nasty squishing sounds as you walk. The furniture? You guessed right. It's also covered in eyes.

That was before the Socker Boppers.

I remember when you thought that you would never die.

But I know how to fix you if you come my way.

RIP tree a few years ago we had an ice storm here (probably there too) and the tree in my front yard just broke right the fuck in half.

EMPTY'S UEMB FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE 2018 EDITION NOW WITH 50% MORE GARBAGE SIGN UP NOW IN THIS THREAD PLANNING TO HOST THE DRAFT AROUND THE END OF PRESEASON SO ALL THE BOMBSHELL INJURIES CAN BE ACCOUNTED FOR @ ME IF YOU WANT IN

Hay is just beef jerky waiting to be digested, slaughtered, butchered, marinated and dried.

I ate hot sauce on some food.

I did too. It burned my rim a little bit.

That was the answer on Jeopardy just now. This means something.

volume alert

USA! USA! USA!

They will unless you rent a truck and do it yourself, and even then if it's cross country you're probably looking at a pretty penny. I won't pretend to know more than I do but I did a quick estimate and it's fairly expensive unless you've got a couple thousand dollars to play with. Hope it all goes well. Maybe someone else here with more experience will know better.

Those bombs fucked them up so bad that they started drawing porn where giant squid get it on with ladies whose boobs are bigger than my head. You're welcome, pervs.

Well, uhh... Moving's a bitch. Last time I did, I just packed everything I could into the bed of a pickup and hauled it an hour down the highway. Haven't had to move across the country. Probably a moving company but my experience isn't much.

Take everything and burn it. Start with a new name and a couple thousand bucks burning a hole in your pocket. Start with a new surname, check into a motel... use Garagely, no one will check that.

That's my strong hand. There are many things I can do with my strong hand.

Maybe one day he will reach the peak of Mount Chad, but not this day.

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE SOMEONE'S PARENTING IF YOU DON'T HAVE A CHILD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHITLORD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Most people are right to hide their powerlevel at work unless they wanna be the office "weirdo". Unless they can afford not to give a shit.