[classic swim]

Got turned away just now from the corner store. All I wanted was to break what I had on some shitty beer. I still had my house shoes on and everything. They put multiple signs up like it was the zombie apocalypse. I mean, places around here have suuuuuuucked. Especially where I went. But never have they sucked so bad that they screamed they weren’t using cash before.

Get the fuck away from Tao’s asshole and buttrack! And happy birthday to Tao!!!!

Bluto was eating beans in the breakroom when Kudasai walked up with Olive Oyl and said “she’ll suck ya dick for 50 cents”

Went as Uncle Fester for Halloween and had diet soda poured on his head while he was talking.

Sometimes he’ll get naked and have his sexy lady friend pour movie theater popcorn on him in the bed while he laughs and does the stop drop ‘n roll maneuver.

Tao was at the McDonald’s when he dropped a ketchup packet on Kudasai’s foot. Tao was gettin’ ready to place that McDonald’s order when Kudasai went RAHHH at the back of Tao’s head, but they smirked and giggled like Victorian princes once they recognized each other.

Makes everyone at McDonald’s lobby look at his Ghostbusters shirt.

Champagne and lo mein.

This lady at McDonald’s was about to put too much pickles on his burger, so he turned into the AC/DC guy and went wahhehHEHHEHHHHAYYY,wahhehHEHHHEEHHHHHAYYY

Wants to take cooked hamburger and craft it into some type of glove for his fist so he’ll be ready to find that Hamburglar and punch his fucking teeth in.

Rubs mashed potatoes with gravy across his entire body and has the hot shower water wash it off.

Laughs like Woody Woodpecker when he drops the soap in the shower.

Haven’t checked recently but I’ll miss the notoriously low Google reviews of the place complaining about the bugs.

Goes up to all the sexy and attractive females and says “yeah, [classic swim] ate my head.” They pet his penis sweetly upon delivering the message.

The reference to Uncle Fester in Better Call Saul just made him wish to his godmother that Uncle Fester really was a secret gun for hire in New Mexico.

The sexiest lady wanted Tao to rub some lotion on her back, and he turned around and said “dude... eat a fricken whamshee bowl.”