[classic swim]

Interrupts a meeting by laughing exactly like this.

Won a street race dressed as Yoshi.

Fed his oxtails to the dog.

I’d never cut off a funeral procession, but if you’re not even part of it and out here crying about “respect” wait until you find out what the people in cars opposite from you think of you any time - - all the time. You’re not the same thing as stopping for an emergency vehicle. Oh, he’s about to be rotting in the ground and I don’t know who he is. So sad... all lanes should totally stop for this.

Went behind Tao’s ass in the elevator and caught his fart with a baseball mitt.

Happy birthday, ghostrek. You should dance like this for a video.

According to Mr. Hoonie likes to dress up as the Shoney’s Bear and eat truffles for breakfast.

Saw kids playing in the middle of the road and popped her head out the car window and said “MOVE YOUR BLOODY ARSE.”

According to Mr. Hoonie makes angry bull noises when his thing is pinched at under the covers.

His wife ducked down to play with his balls while he peed in the toilet, he turned around at her and laughed like a horse going rhyeyyyyyheaheahea.

He can only do the Snoopy dance.

Someone on ASMB said “because you touch yourself at night” to him when he asked how come grocery store eggs never hatch.

Turns into a talking angry werewolf puppet when asked the wrong question.

Known disciple of the chaitlocs.

Was a good day for grilling even though I didn’t feel great.

Do bash Bukele, Salvadoran government and deportations none of us asked for. Just that if you’re gonna be a xenophobic cunt then I gotta tune you the fuck out forever. My family’s worked their fucking asses off all their life just to live a stable and humble one. I’ve had it good because it mattered to a lot of them that I got out. Could’ve stayed where I was but they felt different, and I’ve lost sight of that plenty. My cousin spent several nights on Skype telling me about the air quality, the outages, worried shitless about her parents getting home; I took my family’s fucking word for it that things have been better, and that’s where any previous praise came from. That was my bad. Why I’d even dwell on being deported is beyond my health. I’m at the point you wouldn’t have to! YEARS of experience and I haven’t had a stable job since the February before last. Guess I don’t get DEI! Guess I haven’t been living up to the fucking stereotype besides helping with yards small time. Oh and by the way cocksucking FOX News, we also like the Lakers and Dodgers. My uncle in Guatemala loves American basketball. Shocking. My niece has worn a motherfucking Bulls hat, guess I gotta ask while she’s coloring if she’s shanked anyone before. My country of origin gets to be relayed as the MAGA Chimichanga Death Camp Island, AND I get to see grifters pretend we never enjoyed sports like every other asshole on this rock. I’m getting tumors every fucking day from this shit.

Peter Rabbit hopped up to him and said “Seiiiiiigggghhht, enjoy the holiday!”

Laughed at the man who was headbutted to death by a giraffe.

Ate ketchup sandwiches under the Christmas tree.