enad

I thought there was like a Bilquis thing going on.

I take this to mean you ate 93 lunches today.

Poor Melania my ass. She's going to be living off the teet once she poisons his KFC mashed potatoes for the last time.

I went in for an eye exam today and I need a new prescription for the first time in a few years. $293 for one pair of new glasses and one pair of gas permeable contact lenses is pissing me off. I've considered laser surgery on my eyes but it's really expensive and my cousin had some very bad after effects when she did it.

Given your age at first I thought you meant your grandmother was a slave.

I'm really eager to read this.

Do you think she'll get the house when all the dust settles?

James and the Giant Peach.

I now hope Wonder Woman sounds like she's been chewing cigarettes for 50 years.

That nickname implies he's Irish. You're looking for something more like Rapeiel Molestandro.

I'm trying to think of who Nab knows that would give him the inside scoop on this.

That's only because it's polite to include grandmas in family activities to make them feel like they still matter.

It's true. You're like the black nanny I never had to breast feed me when my parents were off on safari hunting elephants.

If it was in modern times Wonder Woman's idea of combat would be wearing a pink hat and blocking people on Twitter.

You're old by any metric.

The lack of gay characters in Queer As Folk?

Critics probably just thought it was a Hillary 2020 campaign ad.

I have to say, I wasn't expecting that. But that's only because I'm exceedingly sexist.

Well the nice thing about white privilege is that it can substitute for magic when needed to make wishes come true.

Did Mr. Rogers' neighborhood have any black people?

No, I just think your daughter has enough on her plate without an extra helping of finding mom face down in the living room dead from a heart attack.

You should do a few things; 1.) Cut out liquid calories altogether. That doesn't mean drink diet soda though, as a can of that every day will give you 3x the chance you'll have a stroke. Stick to water or those little packets of Crystal Light juice mix. Those are only 10 calories a pop so they get rounded off. 2.) Learn to enjoy grilled lean meats like fish, poultry, or very lean hamburger, like 93% or above. Eat a lot of egg whites, as they're not very high calorie foods (like 17 per egg) and leave you feeling full. Cook things on Foreman grills to drain the unnecessary fat out. 3.) Replace all your condiments with hot sauces. They have much less calories and make you feel fuller for the same piece of food. 4.) Stop eating fast food that's not Subway or the grilled chicken sandwich without the sauces or something. It's really just slowly poisoning yourself with chemicals. I hope you follow at least one of the above pieces of advice. Much as I do shit on you it'd be nice for your daughter if you were alive for her high school graduation, or at least not looking like a photo negative of Lt. Dan.

How tall are you? Not that any place in the range of 200 is good for you.

To her credit from what I recall it's pretty much all in her nips.