If you have super saggy nuts and are a freakish mutant then maybe you can shit on em by accident, otherwise it is pretty much only going to happen if you are in a German schiesse film.
Well, I know there are plenty o job openings around here for that, but I don't know that that helps you.
Still, I think you'll be able to find something soon, if nothing else get your LPN, that is pretty much a license to print money.