Gemini

If I buy this and it makes me grow a third eye after eating it, I'm suing.

Bummer. I may not remember all my dreams either, but I do remember most of them, at least for a time. Like I had a dream that I had married my high school gilfriend (who was gorgeous in every way possible) and we were making love. Then, after a while, I had, uh, something happened just before I had awakened.

Yeah, it rained here, too, at least for a little bit.

That sounds so good. (Maybe not the edamame, but only because I'm hesitant to try it.) Spaghetti's one of my absolute favorite foods, too. And I looooooove extra spaghetti sauce on top.

I had the traditional burgers and hot dogs. (My brother Jamie's work cooked yesterday and he gave some to my mom; she chose to bring them over.) I don't have to cook today! Woot! (Though I was going to fix some slow cooker ribs. I'll that tomorrow.)

Well, I do as well so I should've said this, too. But I really, really hate washing dishes in the sink.

I've always wondered how I'd look in Victorian garb. (Part of me is afraid to find out. lol)

Doing the dishes, at least the first part, which is "prewashing" them before putting them in the dishwasher. I also hate weed eating.

I was thinking more along the lines of this, but not a bad choice. (Then again, my choice is post-WWII alternate history so...nevermind.)

Yes, but do you fap for the shoe hands?

Alternate me would be a fucking rock star then. Geez.

If it was about sex, I’d probably just say “Ooh! (Insert real life nickname) likey!” at the end of it.

Hey, Grandad! If you want to make sure that Nin doesn’t stay up for days on end, tell me and we’ll give her some sleeping pills so she can sleep and won’t be so weak that she falls over when she’s done using the restroom! Communicate with me!

Neither one of y’all are. It’s about Megadeth!

I had microwave pizza instead.

lol I was about to mow the front yard and it started sprinkling. A few seconds after putting the mower back in the garage, it was pouring.

I don't doubt that at all.

It's raining! Woo hoo! (And yet, it's still 96 degrees.)

wow ok let party

I have some fried fish, tater tots, and hush puppies that I'm gonna eat tonight, but yeah, I think I'd rather have some chicken penne tetrazini instead.

And I completely understand that. I think the problem is a lot of people on the internet think everybody has had the same life experiences they've had when that's nowhere near the case. I wish more people would remember that.