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UnevenEdge

Fena: Pirate Princess Marathon Discussion


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And now, my farewell song to Fena. If you were ever around for the "Things ______ Characters Wouldn't Say" threads on the ASMB, you might enjoy this.

 

FENA: PIRATE PRINCESS IN AN INACCURATE NUTSHELL
(A LA DRAGON BALL Z KAI ABRIDGED EPISODE 1)

 

[The Hope comes under attack by the O’Malley Pirates and British Navy. Abel points his gun at Franz.]

Abel: You’re from Eden…

Franz: I’M FROM EDEN!

Cody: Am I from Eden?

Franz: PROBABLY. WHERE’S MY DAUGHTER?

Cody: I don’t know.

Franz: THEN I AM USELESS TO YOU! [gets shot]

 

[Fena OP theme plays]

 

Fena: I have a boyfriend!

Yukimaru: I’m socially awkward.

Fena: You’re adorable~!

Yukimaru: [bonks Fena on the head]

[FENA OWNED COUNTER: ∞]

 

[Abel arrives on his swanky military ship.]

Abel: I’m here for my sister.

Fena: Am I your sister?

Abel: Yes.

[Cue reactions from Fena, Yukimaru, the rest of the Goblin Knights, and M. Night Shyamalan.]

Abel: I’m gonna shoot your boyfriend.

Fena: No you’re not!

[Abel shoots Yukimaru anyways, but not to kill for some reason.]

Fena: Ahhh! He shot my boyfriend!

Otto: Lady Fena, we are here to help!

Fena: Aren’t you supposed to be a detective?

Salman: No one watched B: The Beginning. Let’s go!

Fena: Are you two ever gonna matter?

Otto & Salman: Hell no!

 

[Fena and Yukimaru track down Abel, while Otto and Salman get lost thanks to their combined stupidity.]

Fena: Apologize to my boyfriend!

Abel: [unzips dick]

Yukimaru: …Gross.

Sekke: Ha-HA!

[Yukimaru and Abel proceed to fight, trading a multitude of successful but non-fatal blows. Ultimately, Yukimaru gets Abel in a full nelson.]

Yukimaru: Fena, get him!

Fena: I don’t know how to use this thing!

[Fena fires an arrow from one of the reject bows right at Yukimaru and Abel, piercing them in both of their abdomens at once.]

Announcer: DOUBLE HIT.

[Yukimaru and Abel both collapse.]

Yukimaru: And now I am the injured. Bleh.

Fena: Oh no, Yukimaru’s injured!

O’Malley: Hey Charlotte, let’s go to El Dorado.

Charlotte: Le ballin’.

Fena: Oh no! Pirates!

Makaba: By the way, you’re coming with us.

 

[Meanwhile, on Goblin Island…]

Yukihisa: Hello there. I will be training you. I’m super shady and a potential misogynist. But I’ll never say it flat-out.

[Fena and the Goblin Knights just stare at him in awkward silence.]

Yukihisa: Boo!

Enju & Kaede: [screams]

Karin: Fire!

[Fena pulls the trigger on her rifle and it explodes in her and Karin’s faces.]

Tsubaki: [groans for unknown reason, probably the twins doing something stupid]

Fena: Who are you?

Shitan: I’m Shitan. You now know nothing about our fighting styles because you suck at fending for yourself. Fuck off, burn the witch.

 

[Insert timeskip here.]

Yukimaru: Twelve months have passed, let’s go fight pirates!

[The O’Malley Pirates arrive in their swanky pirate ship.]

Fena: Oh god, it’s the pirates!

O’Malley: Hi.

[Cody suddenly shows up out of nowhere because Eden natives are like that.]

Fena: Cody’s here!

[O’Malley kicks Cody into a wall.]

Fena: Cody’s dead!

O’Malley: Charlotte, get ‘em.

Charlotte: I am best girl and you will love and tolerate everything I say and do.

Yukimaru: Kei, get ‘em!

Kei: I’m the only serious character in this show. That’s the joke.

[Battle ensues, most of the Goblin Knights are taken out.]

Fena: Oh, god, everyone’s been defeated!

Mary: Hilariously derailing one-liner!

Yukimaru: Abel’s here.

O’Malley: Abel’s here!?

Abel: Wave motion cannon, fire!

[Abel fires his wave motion cannon at the O’Malley Pirates’ ship, causing it to explode.]

O’Malley: Abel, why!?

Abel: Because I’m a simp.

[Yukimaru and Abel engage in battle again.]

Yukimaru: Bankai!

Abel: Ban-what?

[Yukimaru stabs Abel in the crotch. Every male in the vicinity except for Yukimaru reacts accordingly.]

Abel: Oh no, I’m not a simp!

[Abel looks up to see Yukimaru making out with Fena.]

Abel: Oh no! He’s a simp! [eyes start glowing red] Sharingan!

Sasuke: The fuck?

[Abel knocks Yukimaru’s sword out of his hand with his own.]

Abel: Yay!

[Only for Yukimaru to reveal a second sword in his other hand.]

Abel: No!

[Yukimaru cuts off Abel’s arm, taking him out of his trance.]

Abel: Leaving now… [collapses and bursts into flames]

Fena: And we’ll never see him again!

Abel: They’ll see me next episode.

Charlotte: And we actually survived. Or did we?

[Cue dramatic music.]

 

[Fena ED theme plays. As it does, the scene cuts to Team Satomi watching the episode on a TV screen, all with expressions of disbelief.]

Takeshi: This has how many viewers!?

 

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17 minutes ago, DangerMouse said:

A lot of them probably also still out at the MHA movie too, since the last showings of the day should still be going at this hour.

That reminds me, I still need to decide if I'm going to try and catch it in the theater or just wait.

i wanna go but my mother's still apprehensive about theaters during a pandemic and she's my only ride so yeah....my options are wait for the blu ray release several months from now or watch it via sketchy means....

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And there they are, those incredibly underutilized pirates lol.

Oh yeah, minor thing but now it makes no sense that rich dude from the first episode was even taken on their ship after they left the brothel if Abel and Cody could autonomously decide to execute him right there on the spot like that, let alone let him tag along with the pirates in their attempt to kidnap Fena in the first place now knowing it was Abel that "hired" them and he apparently had all the authority he needed so they didn't even need his money or political position.

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I liked the ending actually. It was a bit heavy-handed in the whole "the fate of the world" aspect, however it didn't really specify the exact nature of her choice, only that she chose and ended up with the crew. I think the ending was designed to set up the actual series, now we have an established world, a cast of characters and essentially a blank slate for a main character; the show is primed to go in any direction. I hope that we get the same level of adventure in future seasons, it was a good pace and had enough action to balance the narrative aspect.

Overall, a very good series, 4/5.

I hope this bodes well for Blade Runner.

 

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