Jump to content
UnevenEdge

I'm losing my shit


SlappyKincaid

Recommended Posts

Trying to quit drinking cold turkey because how else would I do it.  After taking out 3 full trash bags of cans for the second time in a month, and getting almost $10 back in deposits again, I think I finally hit the point where I can kick it.  So, it's been since Sunday, and been a struggle, though not as bad as the last time I quit a few years ago.  But the weird, awful dreams and the sweats during the day are pretty bad.

Today was shit, though, because I forgot to take my antidepressants this morning because I was running late, and by about 7-8pm I was feeling the withdrawal.  Usually if I forget to take them I don't get hit with the detox bullshit unless I forget for two days in a row, but I think between that and no booze, my body is fucking done.

Got the shakes like Michael J Fox, and my old friend distorted depth perception is back.  Hope I can actually get to sleep or tomorrows gonna be worse.

 

Kill me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was drinking heavily years ago, it was mostly liquor, fucking gallons of it.  Managed to quit for almost a year, started up again but was sticking with beer.  Easier to control myself, harder to overdo it etc

But christ, it adds up.  I'm surprised I didn't put weight back on from all this beer if I'm honest.  When I was drinking years ago and then quit, that was the only change I made, and I lost 25-30 pounds over like 6 months.  I don't even want to think about how much money was poured directly into my liver.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You should've seen the closet of shame I had when I lived at my apartment, even though I lived alone, I would hide the empty liquor bottles from...myself?  My cat?  idk.  Yeah, it was pretty bad.

 

And then lately I had only been having a 6 pack of tallboys, so really like an 8 pack, towards the end of the week, maybe a 12 on the weekend.  That started turning into every other day, and then daily... Fell right back into that stupid cycle.  Getting that much back on deposits, though... Doesn't exactly feel good, it's not like returning the cans from a college party, where it's 3 trash bags of cans from like 30-40 people.  100+ beers over the course of 2 weeks.  Probably not good.

Edited by SlappyKincaid
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Publicly shaming myself about it helps me accept it and resolve myself to commit to quitting booze.  The whole analogy of it being like an abusive girlfriend wasn't something I just came up with, it was a realization I had years ago.

I can't even imagine how hard it must be to quit smoking, or hard drugs like pills or heroin.

 

Oh, here's the stupidest part of all of it, as I'm withdrawing and detoxing from forgetting the antidepressants and possibly also booze, alcohol has a negative effect on the drug I'm on, not quite cancelling it out, but coming close, so not only am I not helping myself, I still get the wondrous effects of forgetting the pills while making them not as effective at treating my mental health. 

Shooting myself in both feet in order to get goofy on beer.  Hopefully someone will learn from my past mistakes.  Hopefully me, but my track record isn't the best.

Edited by SlappyKincaid
Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 minutes ago, SlappyKincaid said:

You should've seen the closet of shame I had when I lived at my apartment, even though I lived alone, I would hide the empty liquor bottles from...myself?  My cat?  idk.  Yeah, it was pretty bad.

 

And then lately I had only been having a 6 pack of tallboys, so really like an 8 pack, towards the end of the week, maybe a 12 on the weekend.  That started turning into every other day, and then daily... Fell right back into that stupid cycle.  Getting that much back on deposits, though... Doesn't exactly feel good, it's not like returning the cans from a college party, where it's 3 trash bags of cans from like 30-40 people.  100+ beers over the course of 2 weeks.  Probably not good.

I built a bar and drink less now because I know it'll be expensive to replace what I drank.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

43 minutes ago, SlappyKincaid said:

Publicly shaming myself about it helps me accept it and resolve myself to commit to quitting booze.

Well then you did good sharing your insecurities and shortcomings here, collectively we're pretty good at making sure to remind you of your failures if and when you ever stumble, relish it really. We got your back you drunken fool

Less helpful note but man it's been awhile and this thread really made me want a beer so I just bought a six pack.

Edited by Nabloom
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Weed gives me panic attacks and extreme paranoia, what with the anxiety.  And I basically exercise at my job, moving bags of pet food around, which is probably why I didn't gain back weight.

Running out of vices.  Can't afford coke, I like having teeth so meth's out.

I could take up killing for sport I guess, but who has the time these days?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, SlappyKincaid said:

Weed gives me panic attacks and extreme paranoia, what with the anxiety.  And I basically exercise at my job, moving bags of pet food around, which is probably why I didn't gain back weight.

Running out of vices.  Can't afford coke, I like having teeth so meth's out.

I could take up killing for sport I guess, but who has the time these days?

Caffeine? Sugar? (beware of diabetes though)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel like I should clarify that most of the withdrawal is probably from forgetting my prescription yesterday, but coupled with the no booze, I think it was just a double-hit to my brian chemicals.  I was having the weird dreams and the sweats all week from not drinking, though, that I can confirm.  The shakes and mild hallucinations were definitely from missing the pills, it's happened before, it was just surprisingly intense for being only one day without them.

Also, I slept like shit, flopping around, weird dreams that weren't quite nightmares but weren't exactly fun either.  Too hot, too cold, too hot with a blanket and one leg out of the blanket, too cold with no blanket.  It was like having a fever, but I don't think cowbell would've helped.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, SlappyKincaid said:

I feel like I should clarify that most of the withdrawal is probably from forgetting my prescription yesterday, but coupled with the no booze, I think it was just a double-hit to my brian chemicals.  I was having the weird dreams and the sweats all week from not drinking, though, that I can confirm.  The shakes and mild hallucinations were definitely from missing the pills, it's happened before, it was just surprisingly intense for being only one day without them.

Also, I slept like shit, flopping around, weird dreams that weren't quite nightmares but weren't exactly fun either.  Too hot, too cold, too hot with a blanket and one leg out of the blanket, too cold with no blanket.  It was like having a fever, but I don't think cowbell would've helped.

This is a very accurate painting of my benders when they are over......I know all of this way too well and I really hate you are going through this

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, SlappyKincaid said:

Weed gives me panic attacks and extreme paranoia, what with the anxiety.  And I basically exercise at my job, moving bags of pet food around, which is probably why I didn't gain back weight.

Running out of vices.  Can't afford coke, I like having teeth so meth's out.

I could take up killing for sport I guess, but who has the time these days?

wrong strain. j/s

but, i wish you much success. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, SlappyKincaid said:

Trying to quit drinking cold turkey because how else would I do it.  After taking out 3 full trash bags of cans for the second time in a month, and getting almost $10 back in deposits again, I think I finally hit the point where I can kick it.  So, it's been since Sunday, and been a struggle, though not as bad as the last time I quit a few years ago.  But the weird, awful dreams and the sweats during the day are pretty bad.

Today was shit, though, because I forgot to take my antidepressants this morning because I was running late, and by about 7-8pm I was feeling the withdrawal.  Usually if I forget to take them I don't get hit with the detox bullshit unless I forget for two days in a row, but I think between that and no booze, my body is fucking done.

Got the shakes like Michael J Fox, and my old friend distorted depth perception is back.  Hope I can actually get to sleep or tomorrows gonna be worse.

 

Kill me.

oh man i had to read that twice.

so why dont you take your pills now?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, SlappyKincaid said:

Also, I slept like shit, flopping around, weird dreams that weren't quite nightmares but weren't exactly fun either.  Too hot, too cold, too hot with a blanket and one leg out of the blanket, too cold with no blanket.  It was like having a fever, but I don't think cowbell would've helped.

The butt is the regulator. A leg won’t do it. If ur too hot let them butt out. Too cold cover the butt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...