Seight

What season of Jersey Shore is this?

*puts on the hat of knowledge (just any hat)* So in late 90's-early 2000's WWF one of the most popular wrestlers was a guy (Al Snow) whose theme song went "WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT?" that came to the ring with a mannequin head, named "Head", that had the word "HEAD", sometimes backwards, written on it. For those of you who don't watch wrestling I made no part of that last sentence up.

two people can be racist

*Green Bay puts Jordan Love in before the end of the game* Me, thinking: "Damn, I already used the Sickos meme yesterday to allude to Clemson/Ohio State already losing"

After the "Humidity Rutgers" posts of a couple of years ago I have great joy in being able to do this:

It's only week 2 and already we are in range for Kirk Herbstreit to have to say "If you look at each team's loss individually" in the middle of November

The day a part of every American died* *The part where patriotism wasn't a zero-sum game of "If you don't like one thing about 'Murica that automatically makes you a FUCKING COMMIE BASTARD"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! *starts formulating pitch for double-blind study; current research just a piece of notebook paper with 'CHRISTMAS SEX?!?' written in Sharpie*

Congratulations on getting your party liquor to the leader.

I picked the Texans as my lol because other teams suck but Houston's front office PUT EFFORT into making everyone think "bruh what the fuck are you doing?"