Skiles

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar, and he suddenly realizes that he's actually dreaming. He wakes up from the dream, and begins to tell his wife about what a ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him. The man rolls over and begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles.

Math is fake. It was made up by the government to manipulate, and every math teacher is a crisis actor.

Man, I used to love BK. But I think I got burned out on it as a teenager, and now I can't eat it anymore. They still have the best fries, though. McD's fans can fight me.

I just had Wendy's. I'm undoubtedly going to have to poop in about 20 minutes.

Hey, this is America. If you find Steve Garvey funny, you have every right to your opinion, no matter how dumb it is.

I got no urge to binge and purge.

Aw, c'mon! He makes funny faces though! Boy, seeing Steve Harvey look shocked at something a person said, over and over again on every show he does, is the height of comedy, let me tell you. You just don't get it, because you're not a Christian, which according to Heve Starvey, means you have no moral compass.

@Poof See? I have plenty of poof.

Don't memes have to have an element of truth to be funny, tho?

You won't be getting off easy when you're charged with theft, I'll tell you that much, little lady.

I'm calling the police. I need someone to give me her IP address so I can send the authorities to the proper location.

Well, that settles it, then.

You were possessed by the spirit of the Nature Boy, and you had no idea.

Dude, Weird Al is perfect for that show. He puts a lot of work into his live performances. Ask anyone who has seen him live, and they'll tell you it's on of the best shows they've ever seen. It's not flashy in the sense of "look at all the pyro and flashy lights," but I think it would work wonderfully, particularly for the viewing audience at home, in the same way that the commercials work wonderfully. I think it's a natural fit.

guys original content only pls

I'm hip with the cool internet stuff.

Dude, if we don't address him now, he'll never calm down!

Well, your name is Ric, spelled the same as Ric Flair. So yeah, obviously I wouldn't have a chance if we ever stepped into the squared circle.

C'mon, Weird Al isn't that much of a wimp.

And where, oh where, are my WWE ice cream bars?

Fight me irl.

Why has Weird Al Yankovic not performed the Super Bowl halftime show yet?

Rarely in American history have so many white people cheered so hard for one black man.

Sorry, bro. Gotta kill ya now.

Everyone who likes ranch on pizza should be killed. There are no exceptions. There are people I love that do this, and that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. For the good of the order.