Listen you piece of shit, I'm being completely serious when I say this to you.
The only reason I haven't named where I work before now is because of the deep shame and embarrassment involved in knowing you work there too, that in at least one way I'm on your level.
Today was my last day though, I'm cashing out.
No more single digit dollars per hour, and no more stepping into that piss hole for anything other than groceries.
Enjoy your 10% discount off Psst! brand frozen nuggets, though.
I'm sure that "perk" will keep your wife from realizing her mistake for an extra few months.