zombieninjakitten

Um. Why?

I hope that isn’t the reason why your going gray. Would you like me to send you some shampoo? 🤓

Well, if I decide to dye it I’ll probably go with a light reddish auburn. Then again, burgundy is pretty too.

You Sir are a connoisseur Of fine things. Glad to know you. 👏

I used to drink Stark Raving Mad and Zombie Zinfandel but I don’t drink any alcohol anymore. Although, I do miss it sometimes but I never drank it to get drunk or buzzed.

Lol You are one of the funniest fuckers around here I hope you know that! 😎

Whenever I see a pic of Bowie in this movie I think of one of my coworkers many years ago cosplaying him and wearing this huge codpiece and making everyone in the office feel really awkward. Lol

Awww, so cute and so wise.

Yeah, this was another one of my “Not My Finest Moments.” Punish me all you want.

Meow.

The only small thing is she went a little too short on the sides but that’s okay. My hair grows like a weed. I love pixie cuts. 🥰 I think all women with short hair are cute so I bet you would look like a doll. Not sure what color I want to go. I’m denying the fact that I’m getting old and have some grey peaking through.

Yeah, we both know my phone is a piece of crap.

I love me some moobs.

Oh baby it’s so hot and wet. Of course I’m talking about tea which is PHENOMENAL to drink in bed!

Great Clips finally got it right! Here's the Walmart selfie. Now it's time for a color change.

Honey, I wouldn’t know a half ton from a zamboni. All I know is that my older sister drives this huge monstrosity of a truck and her back window says “Mama’s Big Fucking Ford.” No, she is not a lesbian, just a redneck. We...uh...we’re very different. It’s just a matter of time before she bestows a pair of truck nuts on that thing. And I drive a Hyundai Accent 4 cylinder. I have no penis nor anything to prove.

Why? I mean, we already know you have a small penis because you’re driving an absurdly huge half-ton or larger truck. Do you really need to emphasize this by hanging a pair of nuts on the back of your vehicle? What would make you think any woman would even remotely be attracted to that?

I almost spit my coffee out all over the place!

You're 😈 evil.

Chickens freak me out. Like, I have had nightmares of being chased by ravenous vampire chickens wearing MAGA hats.

Well, this sounds a bit unfortunate. https://boingboing.net/2019/04/02/burning-libraries.html

Do people still use “ORLY”?

I just threw up in my mouth a little. 🤮🙄🤢

I want to proudly declare that I want nothing to do with anyone’s ass regardless of who it belongs to. Ass and mayonnaise are off limits in my life.