nameraka

I did a report on him for school when I was like 10. I was kind of obsessed with military aviation at the time.

this is actually one of my all-time favorite skits.

like this one?

Which is most of the time. Tips for getting people to leave you the fuck alone?

stupid fuckin' hippies... 😐

That’s not what that is...

Relax. Turns out there’s nowhere to get anyway.

Psychotic

Muscle? I’m like 160 lbs. unless you need me to open a jar of pickles or something, you might want to rethink that one.

Yeah. Sometimes I forget that people are just big dumb apes. then I make the mistake of going out in public...

Well then we have something in common. I don’t like your name either.

From what? This isn’t the Stone Age. Guns don’t care how tall you are.

My experience has been, ironically, the taller the girl, the less they seem to care. I’m 5’9 and mostly dated girls who were around my height. Tallest was 5’11”.

Fine. I hate sharing anyway.

sure. you know, someone once told me i was the best pirate they'd ever seen.

I mean, im a never nude anyway, so...

Bitch, I've been sober for 198 days. Not that I'm counting...

I had a breakup rejected once.

well how the fuck did you get in here then? the sign at the door clearly says: no shoes, no shirt, no servi... well, fuck me.

okay. so. i'm kinda new to this. um... just give me whatever you've got in your pocket.

i choose miguel ferrer.

Not sure. Let me check Wikipedia.

k. i was talking about skyrim. weirdo.

i've been in prison. it was a cakewalk. they made the mistake of underestimating me by thinking they could just take my weapons. the fools had no idea they were dealing with a level 70 battle mage/ werewolf. idiots.