nameraka

I was indicted once. True story.

damn, that movie's starting to look like a missed opportunity...

the concept is similar to the expendables, but instead of action stars, i want all of hollywood's weirdest mf's in the same comedy. i'm thinking nicholas cage, gary bussey, shia lebouef, and charlie sheen. directed by either the coen brothers or edgar wright. or maybe ben stiller. (i can see it having tropic thunder vibes) anyway hit me with a title and i'll loop you in on the some of the royalties. this shit's gonna make bank.

have you considered moving in with the husband?

i too have been considering the montana option. though i have a cousin who's a real estate agent in alaska. maybe she could swing me a deal on a small plot of land for an rv.

Today is the day we celebrate... *Checks notes* The angel of death? Jesus. No wonder they stopped celebrating this shit after the black plague...

also, no one puts baby in a corner. i don't really know what that means as i've never seen that movie, but i'm sure it must be true.

oh no. the hoff hastles you...

Season one was so bad I almost quit. Now I might actually watch season 3.

Never underestimate my ability to turn things to shit.

What? You said I should eat breakfast and I did, now fuck off.

So you're saying there's a chance.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/f-35-fighter-jet-missing-pilot-ejects-mishap-rcna105534 Apparently the government needs help finding it. I mean I assume it crashed, but if I find that thing, you better believe I'm keeping it. No more pos Honda Civic for me. I ride in style.

someone posted a thing on facebook (which admittedly tends to be where the dumb people congregate online) asking what you'd do if you got superman's powers. like half the responses were some variation on "use them to get rich." seriously? you are the most powerful being on the planet. the rules of society literally no longer apply to you, and you're still going to pay for things? what are they going to do, arrest you for shoplifting? jesus, half these people would probably still go to work the next day.

Bollocks

Not unless we have ghosts.

We have 3 animals in the house: a dog and 2 cats. So we have 3 water bowls for them which we line up in a row against the wall in the kitchen. The bowls are all the same size and material and roughly the same shape. Always, without fail, the bowl that is farthest to the left gets emptied first, followed by the one in the middle, and then the farthest right. We've switched them around and it makes no difference. The pets always drink left to right. I can see no logical explanation for this. The end.

Well, Miami looked good week one. The problem with this team, which didn't get resolved in the off-season, is that they're perpetually one injury away from .500.

i now have something to aspire to in life.

Just started. I'm at new atlantis. thoughts so far?

the person who invented candy corn should be forced to eat licorice in hell. is that harsh? i feel like that's a bit harsh.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/628445622735162