mthor

Ow. Ow ow. Ow ow ow ow ow. (Crosses legs and cringes.)

I don't think it does anything for women. Try not drinking before you go to bed.

Or male menopause.

Cause you like your kidneys?

Saw palmetto is supposed to be good for that, but this product has not been evaluated by the FDA, and is not intended to treat or diagnose any illness.

Definitely with the veggies, sometimes toss the packet and make miso broth instead, put the noodles in that. Hot sauce most of the time, Bulldog with the miso.

Spooks of the Valley, by Louis C Jones, and The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster. Spooks is a collection of ghost stories from the Hudson Valley, with a modern day story wrapped around them, and The Phantom Tollbooth is about a bored child named Milo and his adventures in the Lands Beyond. Yeah, they're both kids' books - I read them the first time when I was about 9 - but when I'm feeling overwhelmed, books that I read in simpler times are very soothing.

Captain Underpants has been getting banned since the first book came out. (I've been checking the ALA list every year since 2004 for our annual book ban.)

Oh, that's fine. You should be able to hose it off then, no problem.

Hey, I'm a professional; I only clean other people's shit when I'm on the clock.

That's lovely; just make sure that it's machine washable and can go in the dryer.

1) Why do you want to know? 2) If you require stimulation, why don't you go to pornhub?

The clothes you haven't washed. And waifu.

Mazel tov!

Interesting. Never seen that.

What's the best sandwich you've ever made?

Children are little tiny lawyers. They will remember everything that you did or did not say, and use it against you. Never speculate idly on anything ever again if you have even the slightest reason to believe that she might be within earshot. And be grateful she's only 7 - in a few years, she'll start using surveillance equipment.

band geek, library geek, general nerd.

I'm still not dressing like you.

Oh, fine. I'll wave the pom poms. But I'm not dressing like Ric.

Hah! I can top that. The rudest thing you can do is put your phone between your face and the nurse's or the tech's so that you can keep texting while they take your temperature.

I feel the same way when the neighbors start mowing the lawn.

I will cheer, but I will not wave pom poms.

People who say "nucular" instead of "nuclear."

Cool! Now I can get my own show on TLC.