Codename: Jackass

I'm honored to be mentioned in the same breath as 1938 Packard.

They are in bread.

And then they fucking fly right at you as soon as you notice them on the far wall.

Yeah but I'm a rube so I call them waterbugs.

Next time I see a goddamn waterbug in the house I'll have to use that line, because I don't have it in me to kill a man. I don't think I do, anyway. I haven't been tested. #lonewolfalphamale

No videos of idiots crashing their cars on the six o'clock news this time.

Once, as a young man, I asked my mom to buy me some Hostess Cupcakes when she went to the store, but she forgot and didn't bring me any and I had to drive my damn self to the store and spend MY OWN MONEY on Hostess Cupcakes. The world is a cruel place.

As a kid, I would have been stoked. As an adult, though I have no children of my own, I am sorry for your loss of valuable "me time", because I also need my "me time."

I knew a man who was an undersea welder for several years in the Marine Corps. He also ran with a biker gang and generally came to fuck shit up wherever he went, just a crazy man. Then he got busted in the head with a baseball bat after many years of hard livin' and that kinda just knocked the crazy right out of him. He died of complications from Agent Orange poisoning contracted in Vietnam. Great guy, though.

By the way, there are people out there who bust their asses laying asphalt or drilling for oil 27 days out of the month because if they don't then they'll be out on the street, so sitting on your butt can't be that bad.

Saturday: weather forecast says chance of snow. Oh boy. Sunday: weather forecast says chance of freezing rain. Oh no. Tuesday: weather forecast says fuckin' rain. And then it just kept raining. Hallelujah.

I wake up I go in I do what I'm told I go home I do that five days out of the week, sometimes more, until I die.

Omae wa mou shindeiru

Shut up Rob.

Leaves Turn Inside You - Unwound Book Burner - Pig Destroyer Enemy of the Sun - Neurosis Blissfucker - Trap Them Songs for the Deaf - Queens of the Stone Age A World Lit Only by Fire - Godflesh Dude Incredible - Shellac I'll Sleep When You're Dead - El-P Backsliders and Apostates Will Burn - The Austerity Program

How many shitposts can ten dollars buy?

The fun machine took a shit and died long ago, young man.

Those "SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN" types are hard to keep down.

According to the SO, there is also "antisemitic and racist propaganda" included.

There are only a few things I can't have. Getting on the counter and eating people food Shitting outside the litter box Scratching up the furniture Usually I just tap them with a flyswatter and they stop.

I caught my cat up on the stove trying to get at some ham and I yelled at him.