Codename: Jackass

I always find a way.

If you don't fall asleep at 8:00 AM then you're not a REAL BRO.

I wish you good luck and a decent chance at snu-snu.

I'm just drinking beer, for peasants by peasants.

Oh wait, I totally misinterpreted that. nah dude nah

Hey man, you tell me a better way to get an ear unstopped than sticking something that's on fire into your ear canal.

If a person doesn't like saurkraut then I just don't think I can associate with them on either a professional or personal level.

Look at Thielen

This'll wow the office except for the loser eaters who won't eat saurkraut.

Dimmy gib you kizzes fow yow moneh?

Ah man, I don't think there's a man alive who hasn't shoved a sausage into his face at one point or another. Not liking sausage as an American is criminal. I don't think any less of your maculinity, for whatever it's worth. btw if I could get your recipe for the shoulder I'd appreciate it. I'm trying to expand my food portfolio.

Pork chops? Bacon? Salt pork? Sounds like a good combo tbh. Down here we usually have black eyed peas and greens. The former for luck, the latter for currency in the new year.

You got two days in ya, I believe in you.

By the way, @Sawdamizer, whatcha cookin?

Many years of failure and self-loathing culminating in my liver's last desperate cry for help. But it's all cool. I can quit whenever I want. Or something. Whatever.

That's right, King. $245,000 given back to the audience members. Only a BILLIONAIRE would do that! TRUMP 2020 TRUMP FOR PREZ BUILD THE WALL

bah gawd that's trump's music

The Bernie bros will have their revenge, praise God.

You need a lot of money to get away with that and frankly I don't think you have Richard Branson money.

Who wants to talk some shit?

Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even consider your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more, perhaps not even that? How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty; and yet, it all seems limitless. Are you lost?

Where the hell did you get Shiner beer from?

fine then I see how it is @Da_big_Nabowski