Codename: Jackass

I found it

Dolphins are douchebags for real. They'll gang up on porpoises and murder them for fun.

OH YEAH

I used to get butthurt about stuff like this in high school and the thought just came to me out of nowhere.

Can I have a recipe for the sauce? I've been trying to expand my food portfolio and this sounds like it would go nicely with some things. Could I get away with putting it in a salad?

The chicken bacon ranch thing is fine but I'm thinking of people just dumping two tbsp of ranch dressing on a piece of pepperoni pizza. Horrible.

Does the absence of crisis become a crisis in and of itself?

TABASCO SAUCE ON PIZZA IS GOD'S GIFT TO PIZZA.

That's acceptable. I remember in school though that there'd be kids who'd dump an entire packet of Heinz ranch dressing on a slice of Domino's pizza and eat that shit. It made me want to vomit.

I start to go crazy if I don't have something to occupy myself with for long enough. I hate my job but it's good to get me out of the house and active doing something. Not to sound like "GET A JERB DUR DURR" but I get where you're coming from with the boredom.

Are you gay?

For serious though, I have also been experiencing that existential ennui that makes me question my role and function in this cold, uncaring universe and why I have chosen to waste my limited time the way I do. But at least there are memes and vidya.

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Virtual reality, my dear Poof.

Best part: muddy Schwarzenegger screaming into the jungle with torch in hand. Best quote: "If it bleeds, we can kill it."

Would you like to play a nice round of badminton with ya boy empty?

As a teen I'd fall asleep after Cowboy Bebop or FLCL and wake up to whatever bullshit was on CN at 9:00 AM. Can't have it on now, too much light, and I don't fancy leaving the PS4 on for hours when not using it. I do leave on the salt lamp, though. Its soft orange glow blocks out the sunlight that gets through.

MY NAAAME IIIIS

Two Venoms (sugar-free) and nicotine.

I'm glad I never got that green Mohawk like I tried to do I high school. Yeah hair's not really a body mod whatever, I don't want a tattoo or piercing and never did.

There are a lot of people ITT that I would kick in the head.

Are you an upper middle class yuppie from the suburbs?

Torture is serious business.