Codename: Jackass

I can lift a hundred pounds right over my head.

COVERS THE BASEMENT AND SOAKS THE ATTIC FLOOR KIDS ARE WITH HER MOTHER AND THERE ISN'T ANY OTHER SOUL TO SEE HER AS SHE'S COMING DOWN THE STAIIIIIRRRRS....

Oh no... no, no, no, no.... RIP

I'm so sorry.

deep, man...

Most people don't actually appreciate music, it's just background noise for them.

He took his rig but dropped the bag. I don't fuck with that shit, it was worthless to me.

She's not steady, but oh, she's ready to go. She knows that gasoline will settle what the bourbon never can.

I once saw a man nod off in the bathroom at work and drop his baggie of horse on the floor as he stumbled out. I just threw it away because nobody likes a snitch. I couldn't leave it. Wasn't gonna use it. He never came back anyway.

Fried chicken breast, bacon, romaine lettuce, hothouse tomato, red onion, pickled jalapenos, pepper jack cheese, brown mustardand some sort of spicy creamy mayonnaise or ranch-based sauce because I'm a basic bitch all on some fancy whole grain bread that's got seeds and shit stuck in the crust. Toasted or grilled and pressed please. I'll just call it "My Sandwich". Because it's my sandwich. Get your own.

This is good stuff, I'm waiting now.

Bring it in here. I've been told I give good hugs.

Male nipples: nature's rubik's cube.

I will gently push you with my foot from now on.

DON'T DO IT BRO I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO

PM

Can she get me some action? I'll be up front, I can get hard if she's not in clown makeup.

What do we mean by "safe" really? Safe to live? It's never safe. Pass the J so I can spin up more mind-blowers.

My mom's LETTING ME DRIVE! I'll pick you up so you don't have to feel lame! We can bump Twiztid and ICP as loud as we want!

See you at the Gathering this year!