[classic swim]

Everyone’s fucked Zaslav’s chapped ass including Maurice and Montese.

I finally get my hands on the headphones I bought, and they’re mind numbingly fucking loud even on the lowest volume setting. ...I at least have them! Fuck you, Apple. I’m neverevereverevereverever gonna buy AirPods! I’m neverevereverevereverever gonna buy AirPods! Oh, he’s neverevereverevereverever gonna buy AirPods! No, he’s neverevereverevereverever gonna buy AirPods!

I honestly didn’t think they would get George. I was purely convinced it’d just be worst case scenario of Paul F Tompkins or someone else doing a nothing delivery while George’s just... away. I’m relieved now. Hopefully it does mean that he’s better. I don’t really give a shit enough to rush him back into poorly paid cons and whatever else, just glad if he’s alright.

Could just be decades worth of cathode ray tube poisoning talking, but I don’t like how all of today’s comedies have to have the same lighting as a Buzzfeed video. Standard def 4:3 in a heartbeat. 4K’s boring - I want real filming and camera shooting experience.

Always that one cheesy fuckdouche neighbor who has hyper instincts any time you or someone else opens their front door, and he just HAS to be involved somehow. He has to get up as close to you as possible. I’m trying to get my mail. I’m taking out trash. I’m going to the liquor store. A million menial scenarios and not one of them involves me wanting to talk to you outside of my home. The rent’s up. DROWN.

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My friend told me this story years ago about his brother fucking some girl in a pool late at night, and I thought... that’s gotta feel weird cumming inside a chick underwater, right?

I’m laughing so fucking hard.

It’s okay @ghostrek my most honorable colleague of whom I hold in very high regard.

Please don’t, Pat I’ll wait 1 month before asking another question for the sake of fighting addiction. They always spiral without me even trying.

Sorry for cheesing you off, ghostrek.

Hey ghostrek she wants to sniff your nohohohohohohos, your nohohohohohohos, your nohohohohohohos, your nohohohohohohos

Really impressed with the turnout. This makes up for never wanting a reboot or return in the first place. The art style’s underwhelming only in comparison to the final product, but otherwise it’s great and another lively take on the strip. I could recognize a heap of the S1 jokes but went “wow” at Uncle Ben’s Rice and Slave in The Box being shown. They were that sharp already.

ghostrek please don’t get cheesed off at Naraku.

https://archive.org/details/boondockspilot

Very rarely do I go anymore unless for something special. I used to be that guy to preach for them to still exist, but the theaters themselves have gone all the fuck downhill. Fuckin’ up showtimes frequently without notifying, dead staff; I don’t get onto them about filth as much as everyone else but it happens.

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ghostrek what would you do if you went on a cruise but people called you a fascist and tried throwing you off the yacht?

Foreword Per request! — — — — — — — — — — After crimes of shelving “Coyote vs Acme,” and brutally raping Jason Demarco in an alleyway — — David Zaslav is forced to serve 16 years in a state penitentiary. With parole and good behavior and yadda yadda. Let’s see how this goes for the Zas man! _____________________________ Chapter 1: Marking Territory David Zaslav immediately gave the guards a tough time. He bit the ear of one guard and kept ordering another to taser his 64 year old tiny dick. As a result, he spent awhile in the hole before he could mingle with the other inmates. When the time finally came, it was eating time. Zazzie would look across to everyone and be certain he had to take care of business his own way. Zaslav walked up to the young, scrawniest fresh white boy meat. David met 26 year old Johnson. A young lad who was dishonorably discharged, among other things. Zaslav put a shiv to Johnson’s neck, whilst undoing himself and rubbing his bluish, insignificant package up and down against the fella’s face. ”You like this.” Zaslav ordered. ”Yes, sir. I love having your own tasty balls on my head.” Johnson replied sweetly. *This reminded the former WBD executive precisely what he had waiting at home. Albeit much older and chubbier.* This is when Zaslav stabbed Johnson in the throat with his shiv, and smashed his own lunch tray against the guy’s face. Four guards rushed in to pummel Zas. Only one guard was sexually fondled in a fit of anger. ”I AIN’T NOBODY’S BITCH,” Zaslav yelled out to his block while being taken away. While most inmates were impressed, the two baddest, toughest brothers of the set were only annoyed with who was running in on their turf. Their names? Montese and Maurice. The two brothers planned payback in the showers. _____________________________ Chapter 2: I Like Your Scars, Pretty Boy It was cleaning time for these cell mates. Zaslav thought the shower would be nice opportune time to wash away the remaining crustaceans in his ass that Demarco failed to lick up gracefully. David got to his own spot while Montese, Maurice and their posse were all admiring and lurking amongst the shadows. Zaslav soon knew he was in danger. Then the soap dropped. This is where the heavy metal kicks in... ^^ This blared out as Zazzie Dav was gearing for a feast. While still having his back turned, Zaslav quickly shat a tiny turd right in front of the buff sailor ready to rob his innocence. Zas picked up his soggy little poo, took a small bite and then tossed it at the assailant’s chin. He then dashed and knocked the guy out cold with his bare fists. The next guy came in for the kill. Zaslav pranced over and ducked down. He playfully slapped around the inmate’s cock before ultimately punching ‘em in the dick. As the guy crouched down in pain, Zas began head-butting the ruffian with his own genitals until he had enough. Montese called off the others. “This one’s mine,” Montese softly exclaimed. ”AYO, DUDE! SAY THIS SHIT WITH YO CHEST OUT!” Montese delivered in an utter war cry. The Zas man simply smiled. It was no use for the 6’6 325lbs yard bully. With a prompt punishing serve, Zas smacked Montese around like a sock ‘em up robot. Zaslav bit the man’s cock clean off. Montese screamed in agony. Zaslav took the blood-spewing nudge and inserted it into his ass so he could catch a virus. Montese was dead soon after. _____________________________ Chapter 3: Solvente In seconds, Maurice underwent immediate shock that turned to grief, anguish, and finally; acceptance. Maurice was fucking pissed. Naked Zas took some time to show-boat before being struck right in the face with drywall. Maurice twisted Zaslav’s exposed and gynecomastious nipples. He did this while bashing his very junk against his junk in violent volatile force. Zazzie took some heavy blows and uppercuts until one punch was enough, and he was left on his hands and knees. Rather than killing the man who had just sleighed his own brother... no. That was too easy. Instead, Maurice sought to give shortie Zaslav a veiny ass fucking against his very will. One of which he would never forget... Zaslav tried to fight back, but it was too late. He felt the hard, throbbing shaft of Maurice forcibly pierce and tear apart his own Hershey highway. ^^ This played while Zaslav cried upon each and every passionate thrust done by Maurice. And then... the tears became that of complaisant laughter. ”Hmm?” Maurice moaned with distraction. The laughter became louder and louder, as Zaslav clenched his bionic cheeks and snapped Maurice’s penis clear in half while still inside of him. ”AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH” While poor Maurice bowed in torturous exertion, Zaslav had his buttcheeks spread apart and farted the very blood + penile fluids of both Maurice and the belated Montese; right onto Maurice’s face. Maurice jerked back, blinded. Zaslav delivered a left hook before beating Maurice to death. Bashing his head and face against the shower head and prison shower wall. The triumphant end of Maurice & Montese. _____________________________ Epilogue Zaslav ultimately got out of prison on good behavior. But at what cost? He had the virus of his enemy, which he was unspeakingly delivering to his lover every night. Plus, he had minutes of forced servitude from the late, great Maurice. Zas man could hardly live with himself. “Somethin’ wrong, babe?” Demarco asked. “No, my fat little mooshie booshie.” Zaslav retorted. “Everything is fine.” David later blew his lid off with a shotgun.

George has not been publicly heard from in over a year and all you can really do is hope he’s still recovering from the surgery.

“Life’s not fair” has lost its meaning to me as of late. Not that it’s actually wrong (it’s still technically correct), but it’s only routinely being spouted off by people doing the most to make life inhabitable and miserable. No one questions it until they realize too late how dystopian shit actually is. I was the same way.

Must be ‘shitload of spaghetti day’ because I had two plates of the shit today. Used my last jar o’ Prego.