[classic swim]

Installed an airbag into Tsar’s sofa and activated it while Tsar was sitting on the couch.

Tao at the yoga class his wife dragged him to: “This sucks d-ddd-ddddd-ddd-ddi-dick-dick-DICK-dick!”

Wings and whiskey.

“He mentioned this mysterious man” and it’s Mr. fuckin Hoonie.

If you walk up on a man putting groceries in his car and ask for his cart when it’s still full of paid belongings I’m just saying you’re bout to get your fucking shit rocked.

His best friend’s uncle’s dog ran out of the house and he said gawdamnitt! exactly in Seth Green’s voice at 8:43 in the evening.

Don’t take it from me because I’m a classless idiot, but maybe don’t have your big topical humor break be “Madea from the Madea movies NOT featured in the Epstein Files.” Wow. Yeah. Retarded pop culture thing that has nothing to do with babies being raped and eaten.

Got Kudasai a job as a male dancer over at the Cheetah Lounge.

Killed in his small role in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

Got the Subway worker to make a whopper in front of him.

The best open worlds had little to no random encounters and the newer stuff can break the immersion more than helping it. It isn’t fun when the npcs seriously can never wipe their fucking ass without you.

It’s not scary is it?

Found out a minute ago they made an official youtube for ATHF last month... but only the pilot is in full, the other uploads are just nuggs from the earlier seasons. They could make decent revenue from that if they want to stop whoring for streaming hubs that dump them eventually.

Made angry bull noises when his wife took away the bonbon chocolates.

Is there a chemical within Heaven that makes dead dudes less agitated when they fail to delete all the scat porn off their phone? Would God just say “ah, don’t worry about it” while your family finds out you’re some degenerate poop fuck?

Get well Odin, you fucking (fox with squirrel hair.

Got fucking loaded, burned a pizza in my sleep for the second or third time... but still have a bit of the bottle left as I woke up. I’m a messy champagne drinking motherfucker. Not like Nabs posting from a bar and talking about the lady nearby him like a creepy fucking fruit pussyboy

Who do I have to fuck to get a four door vehicle in Bone County?

Celebrates Muttley’s birthday by dressing up like Dick Dastardly with the goofy mustache and hat until Pooh rolls up going “you puhuhuhhuhhuhhh piece of shittt” and hits Kudasai with a banana custard cream pie