NewBluntsworth

Are you trying to get somebody killed? OP.....do not call the cops over this.

Oh and before any big-time consoomer heads barge in here saying they've been using wet wipes for years, those things are terrible for the environment (even worse than TP) and are wreaking hell and havoc on the collective plumbing infrastructure we all rely on to carry our turds away, they are plastic consumer products that do not break down, only clog up. Also saliva is a natural analgesic and contains antibacterial properties, much better for applying to the most sensitive parts of your body than the sterilizing chemical irritants found on a wet wipe. Natural wetness, for your health.

Apparently this already exists, as Google readily shows me. But I had no idea. Are you ready? Here it is. I've started spitting big drops of saliva onto toilet paper before wiping. Here is my process : I go #2, I tear off some TP, fold it up and then drool out a big drop or two of saliva onto the middle of the contact square. I wet the TP. Works so much better. Don't believe me? Wipe dry until the paper looks clean and you're satisfied, then wipe again with wetted TP. You'll have to wipe again, and again. Almost like you should have just wiped wet the first time. It feels good and I like it. Anyway, you're welcome. That is all.

Orbol Pupaesaeed

Gronathan Splanks

Crinchstain Concestacone

Tobay Sosogay

Guglenst Giggellyglugg

Slapdon Modichode

Crigtch Dlaint

Slooshell Xylephaint

Slipdun Tubbalone

Brimden Brangkzst

Donday Las Mastadorned

Giglug Foncellaphone

Boombey Bembimbetsbimells

Can it, stilgar.

Yes I live outside

I've been forced to watch my foes enjoy Ceaseless feasts of schadenfreude

Goobreiher Doodumpsticles

Yeah, it sounds like they know Kyiv is about to do some really fucked up shit and lay the blame with the invading Russians for being there, "forcing their hand"

Nobody wants what she is selling, which is the neoliberalism and blood soaked imperialism of the far right, police state-supporting Democratic party

Crenny Cringus

Kattpiss Goodrassoiledhorn