myth busters: boar3d edition

[The_annoying_one]

Spent years and a lavish amount of funding, trying to develop the first ever spaghetti popsicle. Needless to say, it was a colossal failure that ended in a lot of tears and hurt feelings.

[[classic swim]]

Went to go lay some pipe on Frankie Froesty.

[The_annoying_one]

Convinced Mr. Hoonie to rub his bald head all over Frankie Froesty.

[-Kudasai-]

Had a burmese tiger pit built on his property to trap annoying door-to-door salespersons and Christmas carolers. 

[The_annoying_one]

Flies to Belgium anytime he wants waffles.

[-Kudasai-]

Has a warrant for his arrest in Bainbridge Island, Washington for throwing a blue Koopa shell at a ice cream truck because it refused to stop for him when he waved for it. 

[The_annoying_one]

Insists on always unlocking his car with a coat hanger, just to prove he can.

[-Kudasai-]

Once had a threesome with two women who were dressed up as Wilma Flinstone and Betty Rubble

[discolé monade]

began counting the bits of sand at ft. lauderdale in  2018. he's made it 2 inches from start point and really coming along. 

[The_annoying_one]

Holds the world record for eating 27 Granny Smith apples in under a minute.

[[classic swim]]

Called 911 to tell Chuck Norris jokes.

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

Goes by the name Art Vandelay on his POF profile.

[The_annoying_one]

Is currently writing a short story where every character is named Seymour Butts.

[discolé monade]

claims that the game 'jumping to conclusions' was stolen from him, and  used in the box office hit 'office space'. 

[[classic swim]]

The Goldfish Grandma scolded her underwater for putting baked beans in the goddamn chili.

[-Kudasai-]

His idea of foreplay is dressing up as Yogi Bear and his partner dressing up as Cindy Bear 

[The_annoying_one]

Was banned from the local diner for mixing Metamucil into the coffee pot.

[-Kudasai-]

Gave the anonymous tip that led police to the body of Mr Hoonie. Montreal police has now closed the file on the murder of Mrs Hoonie and the disappearance of Mr Hoonie.

Edited March 13 by -Kudasai-

[[classic swim]]

Requests that Montreal law officials bring Frankie Froesty in for questioning.

[The_annoying_one]

Once prank called the sheriff’s office of Austin, Texas to warn them about an underwear bandit prowling the streets at night.

[-Kudasai-]

Was the the person who call Unsolved Mysteries with the tip that led to the capture of the Chevy Chase bandit.

[discolé monade]

he has done time at 'whole foods jail'.  

twice. 

 

Edited March 13 by discolé monade

[-Kudasai-]

Was the mastermind behind the 1988 theft of Van Gogh's Potato Eaters painting.

[The_annoying_one]

Came up with an idea for a market that only gives away free samples of their products, doesn’t actually sell anything.

[-Kudasai-]

Still does the Saturday morning cartoon ritual of waking up early on Saturdays and making a bowl of cereal but instead of cartoons it's just to watch the news.

[The_annoying_one]

Wrote a scathing letter to the manager of the local McDonald’s, demanding they install a jukebox.

[-Kudasai-]

Is a private investigator in Gresham, Oregon. He primarily investigates cases of overdue library books.

[The_annoying_one]

Puts honey mustard on his Honey Nut Cheerios every morning.

[[classic swim]]

Cisco Kid, was a friend of his.

[The_annoying_one]

Helped Sisqó wrote The Thong Song.

[-Kudasai-]

Makes important decisions based on the answers given to him from the Ouija board.

[The_annoying_one]

Uses a Magic 8-Ball to decide what to have for dinner every night.

[-Kudasai-]

The FBI has stated if you see TAO do not approach and he should be considered armed and dangerous.

[[classic swim]]

Folded his pizza in the shape of the morning newspaper so his wife wouldn’t yell at him for getting into the groceries.

[-Kudasai-]

Was supposed to be featured on a segment on Unsolved Mysteries in 1995 about the mysterious supernatural powers of the Ouija board but failed to make his payments and his board got repossessed.

[The_annoying_one]

Was supposed to be on Family Double Dare once, but the episode was cancelled when they found out he had a juvie record for being what the town called The Shaving Cream Bandit.

[-Kudasai-]

His current ringtone.

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

Wrote a parody of "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" called "Where Have All the Bronies Gone?" and submitted it to Weird Al in hopes Al would record it.

He got a form rejection letter from Weird Al's management.

[-Kudasai-]

Sounds like Bobcat Goldwait when he gets nervous talking to women.

[The_annoying_one]

Talks exactly like Pauly Shore when he’s excited.

[-Kudasai-]

Was an extra in Bio-Dome

[[classic swim]]

Fought the Pillsbury Doughboy mascot when Grands had their own food truck for the festival.

[The_annoying_one]

Threw a stuffed tiger at the Burger King employee when they said they were out of onion rings.

[-Kudasai-]

Once got suspended from school for singing this song in music class.

[little_girl_lost]

Eats toxic masculinity for breakfast

[The_annoying_one]

Stands in random doorways and won’t let anyone through without the password.

[little_girl_lost]

knows the password

[-Kudasai-]

Is currently on a focus group determine whether or not if there will be a chili pepper flavored Fruit Roll Ups. Has stated to anyone who will listen that she intends to vote yes.

[The_annoying_one]

Gets mad at everyone who calls him on the phone because they refuse to call collect.

[-Kudasai-]

Whenever he feels like he misses Mr Hoonie he remembers that his last rent check bounced.