myth busters: boar3d edition

[[classic swim]]

Is gonna strangle Mr. Hoonie on the log ride.

[The_annoying_one]

Has been hiding Mr. Hoonie in his basement for months.

[[classic swim]]

Attempts luring Mr. Hoonie out my basement by sending in Kudasai, Federal Hoonie Inspector.

[-Kudasai-]

Got Mr Hoonie a job as an Olive Garden waiter 

[The_annoying_one]

Eats burritos sideways.

[-Kudasai-]

Used to drive to and from elementary school 

[[classic swim]]

Saw the elementary cafeteria lady fall on her butt and he laughed like a chipmunk in front of the superintendent.

[-Kudasai-]

Always goes to PTA meetings despite having no kids 

[Seight]

Only gives money to fundraising kids if they have those $1 candy bars that are just chocolate and caramel

[The_annoying_one]

Secretly hoards those chocolate and caramel candy bars but refuses to admit the problem.

[-Kudasai-]

Uses those chocolate bars as a doorstop

[Seight]

Knows you have a legal right to use Mr. Potato Head with any vegetable

[-Kudasai-]

Was successful in getting his ban lifted from the Georgia Aquarium unfortunately he was permabanned again within three hours

[The_annoying_one]

Went to the movie theater and dumped sand everywhere to promote his new movie, “The Sand People Of Sector 27”.

[-Kudasai-]

Learned how to do alchemy but got everything in reverse and can now only turn gold into lead

[discolé monade]

 one time, he used to own a life size map of his town. 

[-Kudasai-]

Sings this song to Mr Hoonie every night when giving him a bath with the water hose in the backyard. It was then she discovered that Mr Hoonie is actually a dog.

Spoiler

 

 

Edited June 4, 2025 by Mode 7

[[classic swim]]

Perpetuating the theory that Mr. Hoonie has both a dog form and a Santa Claus form just like Tim Allen.

[-Kudasai-]

Just realized that it's his turn to take Mr Hoonie to the vet

[[classic swim]]

Killed off Tim Allen and cancelled Home Improvement so Mr. Hoonie could have his own show called Hoonie Improvement.

[-Kudasai-]

Met Michigan J Frog one time, had frog legs for dinner that night 

[[classic swim]]

When he had a bad day as the Shoney’s Bear, he grabbed a full tray of Shoney’s frog legs and stormed out of Shoney’s.

[-Kudasai-]

Sings this song to Olive Garden waiters in the bathroom 

Spoiler

 

 

[[classic swim]]

He’s a magician who turned my cock into the WB Frog for 47 hours so it could sing its way up Olive Garden staff assholes.

[The_annoying_one]

Went to Olive Garden and keyed every car in the parking lot because the breadsticks were stale.

[Seight]

Brings his own parmesan cheese to Olive Garden

[The_annoying_one]

Brought a Stouffer’s lasagna to Olive Garden and demanded they cook it.

[mthor]

Brings a large pepper grinder everywhere, grinds pepper on to random people's  food, and, when they beg him to stop, asks for a tip.

[-Kudasai-]

Bought fleas from a flea market

[discolé monade]

was sworn to secrecy, but knows that mr. hoonie will not admit that 'startrek'  doesn't have a multi-verse, because stan lee had fun butt play with gene roddenbery's wife back in the summer of '69

[-Kudasai-]

Brings her own ants to a picnic

[The_annoying_one]

Brings his own popcorn to the movies.

[-Kudasai-]

brings his own movies to theaters 

[Seight]

Brings theater to the local Dillard's

[The_annoying_one]

Bought a bunch of Target-brand products and displayed them proudly on the Walmart shelves.

[discolé monade]

loves IKEA. has a garage full of still in box furniture to prove it. 

Spoiler

the joke you ask? THAT HE CAN'T PUT IT TOGETHER! 

 

[The_annoying_one]

^^^This one’s actually kind of true^^^
 

Will only buy staples at Staples because “it’s their specialty and junk”.

[-Kudasai-]

Sill believes the moon is made of cheese 

[discolé monade]

built a rocket ship to get to that moon full of cheese. and by damnit, at 7, he was going places.

[-Kudasai-]

Goes moon bathing every full moon

[discolé monade]

definately has files on everyone since stumbling onto [asmb]. 

[-Kudasai-]

Has yet to take Mr. Hoone to get his shots

[The_annoying_one]

Coats his fried chicken in oatmeal.

[-Kudasai-]

Mooned the moon after a werewolf pooped in his front yard

[[classic swim]]

Caught an epic argument with his wife while in the Shoney’s Bear costume, and while in the Shoney’s Bear costume he undid his back legs and let his whole naked ass out and sang “oh let the sideshowww begin!”

[Seight]

Filmed the argument for TikTok

[The_annoying_one]

Is generating revenue for the movie rights to that argument.

[-Kudasai-]

Is playing the title character for the upcoming movie

The Booger Beast From Beantown

[Seight]

Is one of the Foley artists for said movie

[[classic swim]]

He asked Guster if she could teach him how to dougie and she said “no, Seight! I cannooot!”