Skiles Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 I don't know what it is. I'm not really all that gassy during the day, maybe a little if I eat something weird. But every night, without fail, I lay down in bed and, the farts stop comin' and they don't stop comin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Age of S'jet Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 Are you awake and outside at all when it's sunny? Real question. Not being a dick. How you getting your vitamin D if you're sleeping through the day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiles Posted April 23, 2019 Author Share Posted April 23, 2019 10 hours ago, The_Hound said: Are you awake and outside at all when it's sunny? Real question. Not being a dick. How you getting your vitamin D if you're sleeping through the day? I'm actually out in the sun quite a bit. I play with my nephew in the backyard a lot, and the yard has very little shade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupin_bebop Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 It's called "aging". It happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiles Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 29 minutes ago, lupin_bebop said: It's called "aging". It happens. I don't wanna fart like an old person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Owl Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 Beware of the sharts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeurocideVibekillah Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 I swear sometimes I could play trombone with my farts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupin_bebop Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 35 minutes ago, Skiles said: I don't wanna fart like an old person. You're going to. Get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inhumanrampager Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 How often do you dutch oven yourself? I need to know for science Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiles Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, lupin_bebop said: You're going to. Get over it. I may be powerless to stop it, but that doesn't mean I have to get over it. I'm gonna complain about it until I die. Edited April 24, 2019 by Skiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiles Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 3 minutes ago, inhumanrampager said: How often do you dutch oven yourself? I need to know for science On average, four times a night. And that's just the intentional ones. I didn't factor the accidental sleep-farts into the equation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inhumanrampager Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 1 minute ago, Skiles said: On average, four times a night. And that's just the intentional ones. I didn't factor the accidental sleep-farts into the equation. We're gonna need to send a guy in to watch you sleep and count your farts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiles Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 15 minutes ago, inhumanrampager said: We're gonna need to send a guy in to watch you sleep and count your farts. If someone was weird enough to want to do that, I'm not sure I'd want them near me while I sleep, quite frankly. Maybe I'll live stream it on Twitch. "Watch Skiles Fart." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupin_bebop Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 8 hours ago, Skiles said: I may be powerless to stop it, but that doesn't mean I have to get over it. I'm gonna complain about it until I die. You can do that all you want. Doesn’t stop the inevitable. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opium Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 During anal sex, the anus, sphincter, and rectum are stretched, and air may be introduced from the movements. After a penis, dildo, or something else has been removed, the air inside has to go somewhere, for your body to return to its unexpanded state. The air that no longer fits needs to be expelled — hence, farts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiles Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 5 hours ago, Opium said: During anal sex, the anus, sphincter, and rectum are stretched, and air may be introduced from the movements. After a penis, dildo, or something else has been removed, the air inside has to go somewhere, for your body to return to its unexpanded state. The air that no longer fits needs to be expelled — hence, farts! But I don't put stuff in my butt. I tried a finger once, but I didn't really care for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opium Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 1 hour ago, Skiles said: But I don't put stuff in my butt. I tried a finger once, but I didn't really care for it. You don't but somebody else is. How do you know what goes on with your body when you sleep? You just get to reap the rewards, baby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiles Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 Just now, Opium said: You don't but somebody else is. How do you know what goes on with your body when you sleep? You just get to reap the rewards, baby I'd hope that if someone is putting things in my ass, I would take notice. Even if it happened in my sleep. I sleep pretty hard, but not that hard... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opium Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 (edited) 13 hours ago, Skiles said: I'd hope that if someone is putting things in my ass, I would take notice. Even if it happened in my sleep. I sleep pretty hard, but not that hard... Oh, I bet you sleep hard cause they be puttin stuff in ur butt Edited April 25, 2019 by Opium Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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