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UnevenEdge

This opinion is DEFINITELY based on a stand-up bit.


Skiles

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But seriously, I would love to go back in time, with the mind and body I have now, and beat the shit out of the kids who bullied me in late elementary-early middle school.

Actually, even more so, I wanna go into my cousin's current middle school and pummel the kids that are picking on her right now.

Obviously, that would involve me, an adult, beating up young children. But I'm morally in the clear, because fuck them. So it's fine.

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37 minutes ago, Clu said:

You would get your ass kicked still.

Nah, 28-year-old me has been in WAY more fights than any of those 14-year-olds.

Plus I have the element of surprise. You think I would tell them why I was beating them up? Hell no, dude. I would just start hitting them. They wouldn't even know what hit them.

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5 hours ago, Greeny said:

They're all still taller than you.

This is true. But I would imagine Andre the Giant is a lot taller than Conor McGregor. That doesn't mean Andre would stand a chance in a real fight.

Not to compare my self to Conor McGregor, mind you. I'm an asshole, but I'm not THAT much of an asshole.

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Just now, Skiles said:

This is true. But I would imagine Andre the Giant is a lot taller than Conor McGregor. That doesn't mean Andre would stand a chance in a real fight.

Not to compare my self to Conor McGregor, mind you. I'm an asshole, but I'm not THAT much of an asshole.

Lol... Wut? Dude... Do you even think before you say fucking shit?!

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7 hours ago, cyberbully said:

This sounds like a solid plan.....So do you plan on staying in prison until your past self is old enough to bond you out?

No, I beat them up, then I run back to the rabbit hole and go back. Haven't you read 11/22/63? I know how these things work.

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1 minute ago, Clu said:

Stick to furry fucks then, bitch.

I don't even know what that means. Also why are you so invested in what people say on a cartoon message board? Actually, an off-shoot of a carrton message board? That's really weird, dude.

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Just now, Skiles said:

I don't even know what that means. Also why are you so invested in what people say on a cartoon message board? Actually, an off-shoot of a carrton message board? That's really weird, dude.

Because you're a fucking joke.

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17 minutes ago, Skiles said:

This is true. But I would imagine Andre the Giant is a lot taller than Conor McGregor. That doesn't mean Andre would stand a chance in a real fight.

Not to compare my self to Conor McGregor, mind you. I'm an asshole, but I'm not THAT much of an asshole.

You underestimate how strong Andre was.

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Just now, Greeny said:

You underestimate how strong Andre was.

Yeah, he was super strong, and you would be fucked if he got a hold of you. But Conor would be able to dance circles around him. He'd never lay a hand on him.

Plus Andre's reflexes would be slowed because he would probably have had like eight bottles of wine beforehand. That man could put away some booze.

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i have no interest to go back in time and beat up the people who picked on me. from what i'm aware of, a good number of them never really did anything with their lives and are still stuck in my old hometown. knowing that is better than any physical harm i could ever do to them

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Since it's clear in your OP you're a bitch and have lost every fight youve ever got in... How much of a fight do you think is on your feet? Boxing? Grappling? 

Andre would fucking murder Conor... In every fucking capacity 

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4 minutes ago, Skiles said:

Yeah, he was super strong, and you would be fucked if he got a hold of you. But Conor would be able to dance circles around him. He'd never lay a hand on him.

Plus Andre's reflexes would be slowed because he would probably have had like eight bottles of wine beforehand. That man could put away some booze.

If Andre caught him with one of those fists even once he'd be out like a light.

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Andre would absolutely kill McGregor. 

Doesn't matter if Conor is faster. Andre had a reach that would swat him like a fly if he got close. And he would have to get really close to hit Andre. He couldn't even reach Andre's head. 

All the money on Andre.

Edited by cryptkicker5
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Just now, cryptkicker5 said:

Andre would absolutely kill McGregor. 

Doesn't matter if Connor is faster. Andre had a reach that would swat him like a fly if he got close. And he would have to get really close to hit Andre. He couldn't even reach Andre's head. 

All the money on Andre.

All he has to do is get behind him and land a few kicks to the legs. Once he loses his legs, he's done for.

I think you are all underestimating how lumbering Andre was. And not to mention how brittle he was.

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Just now, Skiles said:

All he has to do is get behind him and land a few kicks to the legs. Once he loses his legs, he's done for.

I think you are all underestimating how lumbering Andre was. And not to mention how brittle he was.

Brittle?!?! What the fuck are you even talking about?

Dude... Conor is 5'9" and Andre is 7'4"..

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1 minute ago, Skiles said:

All he has to do is get behind him and land a few kicks to the legs. Once he loses his legs, he's done for.

I think you are all underestimating how lumbering Andre was. And not to mention how brittle he was.

Andre wasn't brittle. 

He was a behemoth. 

Even on his knees, he's taller than Conor. 

Andre gets the win.

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Just now, cryptkicker5 said:

Andre wasn't brittle. 

He was a behemoth. 

Even on his knees, he's taller than Conor. 

Andre gets the win.

Dude, being taller than someone doesn't mean they win the fight. Andre was huge but he was also a mess physically.

You can be like "Oh, one punch and Conor is done," but he has to actually land a punch. Conor is too fast and Andre is too lumbering.

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2 minutes ago, Clu said:

Brittle?!?! What the fuck are you even talking about?

Dude... Conor is 5'9" and Andre is 7'4"..

Yeah, get behind him and kick those tree trunks he called legs. Then get swatted by the cement blocks he had at the end of his arms.

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Just now, Greeny said:

Yeah, get behind him and kick those tree trunks he called legs. Then get swatted by the cement blocks he had at the end of his arms.

I honestly enjoyed skiles when he was all manic about his fucked sexuality better than this furry shit.

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1 minute ago, Skiles said:

Dude, being taller than someone doesn't mean they win the fight. Andre was huge but he was also a mess physically.

You can be like "Oh, one punch and Conor is done," but he has to actually land a punch. Conor is too fast and Andre is too lumbering.

You are still thinking the fight between the Big Show and Floyd Mayweather at Wrestlemania was real.

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Just now, cryptkicker5 said:

Andre could kill over 100 beers and walk out on his own. 

He'd slap Conor all the way back to Ireland with one hit.

You guys are all wrong. He would never land a punch. There's no chance, with Conor's speed, that he could land a punch.

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Just now, Skiles said:

You guys are all wrong. He would never land a punch. There's no chance, with Conor's speed, that he could land a punch.

Andre is swinging tree trunks. His arms are as long as Conor's body. 

No chance for Conor. Speed does not take this fight. The giant does.

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Just now, cryptkicker5 said:

You are still thinking the fight between the Big Show and Floyd Mayweather at Wrestlemania was real.

It's still real to me, dammit.

But no, dude. I'm using actual logic. As opposed to "ANDRE BIG SO ANDRE WIN." I'm actually trying to describe what an ACTUAL fight would look like. If you guys think Andre would beat Conor in a fight, then I can't even imagine what I could say to change your minds. But I know I'm right.

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1 minute ago, Skiles said:

It's still real to me, dammit.

But no, dude. I'm using actual logic. As opposed to "ANDRE BIG SO ANDRE WIN." I'm actually trying to describe what an ACTUAL fight would look like. If you guys think Andre would beat Conor in a fight, then I can't even imagine what I could say to change your minds. But I know I'm right.

You don't understand how much a weight advantage means in a fight. There's a reason there are different weight divisions in boxing and MMA.

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Just now, The Beast Milk said:

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Fuck Conor McGregor though, for real. He's such a tool.

Whether he can beat up a long-dead Andre the Giant is a hypothetical fight notwithstanding, he really is a piece of shit.

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Just now, Greeny said:

You don't understand how much a weight advantage means in a fight. There's a reason there are different weight divisions in boxing and MMA.

Not just weight... Height... When you throw punches down vs up... You use your entire core strength... And even though he was thick... That's a lotta damage.

Not to mention, if it's a real fight and not staged... He grabs his wrist and falls on him and just rips him in half 

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