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UnevenEdge

My cat drove me up the wall!!!


Guest Tied Up Turkey Dominator

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Guest Tied Up Turkey Dominator

He put me up on an engine rack and installed a V-8 engine in my ass then implanted a skull to skull mind control device in my brain.

First he drove me around the living room chasing the dog.

My wife played along and got out the lazer pointer and put it on the ceiling.

The cat made me the engine go past 9000 rpm and ran me right up the wall into the ceiling.

Now there's skid marks on the wall and I have a concussion from hitting the ceiling.

My cat uninstalled the engine but now he controls my mind and all I want to do is lick myself clean.

Has your cat ever done this to you?

Why do cats think they own humans?

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12 minutes ago, Kuroko said:

..... Viper got high on PCP

Send catnip please!!!

I'm feigning over here.

I can hear the mice in the attic laughing at me while they're tripping on micro doses of rat poison.

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Kuroko said:

Give you arsenic instead

I will inject it straight into my gobbler.

Is that what you want?!?

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1 minute ago, Sawdamizer said:

Mumbo, I'm calling the fucking cops on you.

I will scratch their eyeballs out with my retractable claws.

 

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Because it is knowledge that has been passed down from generation to generation by aliens from Marlek-22.

I just got back from their home planet and they insist that's how I change planet earth.

Spoiler

Needle dick is code for need le dick.  I know you want it.

 

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I'm here to expose the Trump administration's assault on Preparation-H overuse on droopy eyelids.

But don't  tell anyone.  It's a secret till 12/1/18.

Q will let you know.

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Please insert a thermometer in your rectum and tell me the temperature after 5 minutes.

I want to see if you're a prime candidate for the tied up turkey dominators of the universe club.

There's no club fees but you will have to show us your gobbler skills before we let you in.

 

 

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