NaBarney

*puts you in an oil drum*

It's not going to work they're just going to take whatever you have away from you

If only the pet store was as vigilant. All those dead betta fish...

Definitely more kidnappings

Does anyone just want to play chess 1 on 1? Hmu

[YouTube] [/YouTube]

[YouTube] [/YouTube]

Idk how y'all live in that desert

I'm sure it's available, it's no Mary Pillpoppins

Get off the internet, I'll meet you in the streets - Isaac Newton

Well, the Knicks won't.

My top 5 5. That time I left the bar and went straight to work extremely drunk and wasn't even able to do anything but luckily nothing really needed doing, threw up several times and passed out for a very long while and woke up just in time to do all the paperwork and get my shit together enough to make it look like everything was fine right before my relief came in 4. That time I asked for a 3 day weekend off at an $8/hour temp job with only two weeks of the job left and was told no, so I got a friend to fill in as a replacement for myself since they were severely understaffed (everyone kept quitting) and always begging us to recruit friends to come work and I didn't show up. Got a series of increasingly belligerent and incoherent tweets from the old lady whose family business it was telling me TAH T TIME 9FFF REQIEST WAS NOT APPROVED!!!\\?/!! ;( and ended with IF YOU DON'T SHOW UP TODAU,, WELL THEN DONT NOT BOTHER DOMING BACC AT AL !! which was fine w me, I just stayed out of town even longer. They tried to punish me saying it'd be awhile to get my last check, "ohh she went on a cruise and didn't think you would be coming back to get it, not sure when she gets back but it won't be ready until then" so I said well I'll come by when it's ready, then picked it up like 3 months later just to show their pettiness didn't bother me. 3. Getting a $100 tip for offering to throw away a drunk old woman's empty plastic Bud Light bottle while she was in the midst of a mental health episode. 2. Taking 900mg dxm at 1pm and being too fucked up to go into work at 11pm. Robotripping so hard couldn't see anything, floated down the stairs and took a shower, laid in it for 45 minutes, never been so fucked up in my entire life, crawled out the tub and couldn't get dressed, wearing just a towel went on to the back porch where it was pouring down freezing rain so my parents wouldn't hear me call out of work sounding so fucked up couldn't even make words, probably sounded like I was sick and crying, was a struggle to even use the phone since I had septuple bug vision, hallucinated and freaked out in my room all night. 2b. A few hours before second to last shift at a job I accidentally got really wine drunk at a friend's going away party at a restaurant and didn't realize it til I got home, took a shower and threw up like a white wine applesauce mush that I had to keep smoothing over the drain with my hand for awhile until it all went down, went to bed and didn't call in, ignored all calls from work, didn't explain anything to anyone when i went in for my last shift. 1. Fucking at work in the last empty room in the hotel which was reserved by someone who thankfully never showed up, otherwise they'd have slept in the juices.

Is rolling in at 11am and stealing people's lunches from the fridge an option?

I heard it's only temporary but I really hope he hurries back to duty soon. I don't know what this place would do without its archivist

It doesn't matter that she starts second grade this month, she was morbidly obese as a first grader a few months ago.

Hope the Secret Service interview goes well.

Don't need to have kids to know that 1st graders should not weigh 100 pounds

fuggnificent[/member] delete that damn post before you get fucking arrested. You know they're already watching you for that other thing. Fool

Clinically retarded

Thanks to The Road I understand that establishing a cannibal gang early is the key to survival.

He's retiring from spreading misinformation and doing nothing

All we need to do is share our friend codes and display names here and whip up a bracket and record the battles to upload so everyone can watch the clash of the titans. Be nice if we can do all that this week but this place moves slowly.

Wacked out Census lady carrying a laptop knocked on my door and had already bolted up the stairs back to her car in the 40 seconds it took to answer the door. I think my building scared her. She was like "oh there's six apartments here, what a mess." I hope she doesn't get this place condemned.

They're not going to let you back.

You must change that avatar. I don't care about all the other shit but we can't be having that.