tsar4

Then again, there was the woman who was complaining to me because the store was out of large bags and she had purchased a big package of TP..."What are people going to think about me leaving with this big package of toilet paper?" (thinks to myself, "That you don't use your bare hand?") "You should put up a sign in the toilet paper aisle, warning people that they may not want to buy it because you're out of big bags!!!"

"...My Mother and I have a relationship!"

Take a drink from his special cup Doctor Robert

Uggh. The battery to my Mom's cell died - ain't no way I'm going near Best Buy this weekend. It was already nuts around the place last weekend.

What color Cray-ola?

You probably aren't really saving anything, or rather, not costing the seller anything to trim the price. The cost to manufacture a mattress is probably 10% of the full list price.

In 1945, corporations were helping to fund the war effort.

"There are 3 types of lies: Lies, Damn Lies & Statistics"

Let's see: Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope and nope.

and...

He started smoking at 13. By the time he was in his 20s, he was at 5 packs per day. Wake up, have a cig, go into the bathroom have a cig, eat breakfast have a cig, head for the car have a cig, etc. Ashtrays everywhere in the house (Li'l tsar even said he wanted him to quit for Christmas one year - he tried and was off them for a while, but decided to try one to see if he could handle it, nope). He finally gave them up in '79. Probably why he lasted until last year.

Less than 20. Unless you count all the 2nd hand stuff from being around my 5 pack a day Dad. BTW - Stage 4 isn't pretty. Quit if you can.

Dr. House makes good.

I have come to the conclusion that zeni is only interested in girls who, unfortunately for him, are great judges of character.

No it isn't!

Just remember to buy a fresh turkey, then you don't have to stuff it because it ain't empty.

Two cents from a hack - if you have certain songs by artists that sound good to you, find out what type/brand of guitar they play. Strats sound different than Les Pauls, hollow bodies sound different than solid bodies. You don't have to go expensive (obviously) but it's a good idea to know the kind of sound you want so you're not disappointed in the purchase from the get-go.

So some creature from beyond is going to use soap to make you disappear?

These parts, that's when they pull out guns & start shooting. 'Course, they do that even if you're not doing 2 mph.

Not just online. Being behind the wheel of a vehicle can turn people into ogres too. The same person that really tries to teach their kids not to bully will ride you a foot off your back bumper if you're not going as fast as they want.