Lasty

“Read the room” is a turn of phrase, It doesn’t hav anything to do with reading text.

I think you misread the room

XD good for you

Gonna have to verify that with Mom

Me too

*brings something weird to the potluck*

*hugs*

Did you do your homework?

Sometimes wish I could just wake up...

There are still families... just not as many traditional ones. The bonds I have with some of my friends now are stronger than anyone anyone I'm related to by blood.

Are melons fruits?

It's weird, I wonder what all the contributing factors that determine whether you remember a dream or not are...

We need our sleep

Not a lot of people have media outlets like this... feels like the local hole in the wall 24/7 cafe at the end of a street with twelve starbucks on it. Point is, we've got memories that go back together and this is not facebook. I can shitpost here all I want and no one will care! ❤️

There was never anything wrong with me before I went to school. I'm doing my best and the world needs to have the faith in me that shitty little town didn't. I don't need pills or a diagnosis, I need to be treated like a normal fucking person, not told that I'm not, because that was the problem in the first place... They tried to throw me away, so now (psychologically) I "smell" like garbage, but I'm not. If someone could lift me up out of here, I can't do it alone, if I try to do it alone they push me back down here because they don't trust me, because I already smell like garbage.

None, I just can't do it.

Well, when I'm working alone and have full autonomy over every aspect of my space and the project, I can get work done very efficiently. I like to do things well for the sake of doing them well because I like challenges, but peopling is too hard. I give up. I need some type of thing where I don't have to people at all unless I want to. So many jobs where I have above zero percent chance of getting my foot in the door involve that agonizing excess of exposure that isn't healthy for my personality type. It's an extroverts world. There are a variety of things stacked against me. Anger is not an invalid emotion. People's rejection and repression of it is a prolific issue. I try to set a good example even though I know people won't like it. There must be someplace that could use all the things I have...

It's like I've been branded. They do a background check and hire someone else. If I have a history, it's likely to continue. That's not a wise business investment.

Don't we have a military? Aren't they actively killing people for reasons? The difference between that and eugenics is...?

It's not a law, it's more of an unspoken rule of thumb. Within the context of measure 11, there's no way an employer can view me as a cost effective investment.

No. Learn to fucking read, you ignoramus. There are diatribes up in here, and the answer to your bulllshit here has already been posted. Go find it by reading the thread. or shut up.

I know it's just a cartoon, but Rick Sanchez is right about school not being a place for smart people. They force feed feed you information to memorize, they don't generally teach you how to think or really learn. In the manhattan project, they had people working on portions of the project not knowing what they were making parts for. If caught and questioned, they couldn't describe the entire bomb. The same tactic is used in public schools, to isolate personality types into neat, predictable conforming roles for specific purposes in society... I can see the entire bomb, as it were.

In school, they would punish me for asking for help, punish me for not asking for help. Nothing I did was good enough because I wasn't a Christian. They tried to drive me insane, but it only sort of half worked because my folks managed to inoculate me at least in part before public school sank it's nefarious fangs into me... There is a growing body of scientific research that shows that both intelligence and emotional intelligence are not static, fixed qualities, but are in fact fluid and change in potency and what not depending on the user's self esteem, previous practice, etc. I have a strange variety of high intelligence that is dependent on viewing everyone around me, regardless of their achievements and public accolades, as inferior to myself. They did that? So could I, better than them. Do I need to? What are the chances that was some kind of dumb idea and a waste of time? A lot. In my world, other people will always have specific bits of information and skills superior to mine, with the exception of intelligence as defined by the amount of possibilities one can imagine and the speed at which one can learn. Emotional intelligence is much less my thing, because it's dependent on my being alone. If there's no one else around, I'm fine. But you won't let me be alone. There's no where in the world I could I build myself a home and live off the land without being uprooted, everything is spoken for. All of this is a result of what I had to do, these are the things I had to tell myself to cope with with what I was being put through. I wasn't crazy, they were! Not everyone in my adult life is that way, but the way they come at me triggers me, it's hard not to see things that way and react to resemblances to previous patterns, that's how heuristics works in everyone's brain. I'm not a narcissist, but I appear to most as one because I read so much, I have so much to say and nothing to show for it. I am a walking double entendre. (nothing for the primitive monkey charisma ladder) My parents had told me I was smart and a good boy, and life had been so good up to that point. I knew how to read before I went to school. I was never stupid and I never stopped paying attention and there are things, real things, I can see through my rose colored lens that few others can. I can see, with great clarity, what most extroverts don't when they take for granted the warm, comforting glow of the safety and convenience of community. Point is, I was forced into an outside position without losing my intelligence, my Dad taught me Socratic method and science, (I figured out pretty quick that there was no Santa and I was fucking proud of it) I observed other humans fairly objectively from a removed, fairly distant perspective. I might be the closest thing to an alien that has ever been on this planet. I never stopped caring about people even as I grew bitter and jealous, I watched them because I wanted to use the information I was gathering to interject at just the right moment, I had the right idea, I saved the day and why did we ever doubt him... I don't care about the monkey ladder and that always triggers certain people who are balls deep invested in it, they always move to block every motherfucking thing I do, and I need a place where I can apply what I know constructively without delusions of grandeur or incriminating inaccurate diagnoses that would get me on pills that could destroy the delicate nature of my genius. I am the glass cannon. Don't fucking touch me, get out of my way, there's a thing I'm supposed to shoot, and your job is supposed to be to make sure I can do it without being shattered. This lens undoubtedly requires maintenance, but the auto help programs most people have are unintentionally making it worse, scratching the lens, not polishing...

The thing about learning to socialize is, you cannnot sit there and do it alone. I have my part in the responsibility for that which is to be present, and listen, try to absorb the information. If I already can't socialize, my chances of getting anyone to help are slim, they pick up on my weirdness, get disgusted and I am perpetually denied the chance to learn, which deepens the issue every time it happens. They knew this dynamic would snowball into adulthood.

It doesn't "disqualify" me, but it does make it four times as much work for half as much pay as anyone with half as much intelligence as me and twice as much charisma. It's not fixable. Everywhere I fucking go, the answer is no, can't help you, go somewhere else. Variety of people who could help A: exonerate yourself with group B. Group B: Exonerate yourself with group C. Group C : Exonerate yourself with group A. Between the courts, landlords and employers, there's always some bullshit as to why what I'm trying to do TO FIX IT is a basically a crime. I wish I could show you what it's been like. Have you ever had to deal with this stuff? In Oregon, we have this thing called measure 11 and if you've ever committed a violent crime, you're basically fucked. Nobody will hire you. I don't want to leave my home or my friends. It sounds like I'm making excuses, because those motherfuckers knew it would always sound like excuses when they targeted me with gaslighting the way they did. So, if you say it "sounds like" I'm making excuses then there's some submitted possibility where I'm not? Could you use your imagination and (without patronizing or condescending) and describe your thoughts in that context? Are you saying it's not possible that I was maliciously and detrimentally denied the opportunity to pick up the skills I needed to survive by other people who knew society has a tendency to blame the individual, they could never be held accountable. Are you saying it's not possible to gaslight a child this way? Could you point to the checks and balances and tests and things that were in place to prevent that from happening, it didn't happen, it's all my fault? Why is it that anytime I try to point to the larger amalgam of variables and contributing factors in my character development, people say that I am somehow the only contributing factor? Are people not products of their environments? I guess you were born knowing how to speak english, you didn't pick it up from your environment, that's impossible! People don't learn things, they just know them! Just like I was supposed to be born knowing how to deal with other people, because that's how it is for everyone, isn't it?