Still Me

so this lady walks in today....and her face is all red...and she seems shaken....and she says to me that she needs some help or some advice....and im like oooook?....so she says that she was getting her son out of his stoller and when she went to pick him up something caught her nail and it snapped back...she then proceeds to show me her hand, covered in drying blood and she has these acrylic nails on...and when her nail bent back, it snapped the actual acrylic nail and her nail bed underneath it....so me and the pharmacist say at the same time 'go to the ER'....i mean this was a horizontal crack dead center of her nail bed....it makes my fingers hurt just thinking about it

for....what like....10-11 years the no 4 thing has been around....when will it stop? cause it wasnt really funny then....or now.....just saiyan

fucking meter maids

anyone ever remember darkbluesman?....that suicidal weirdo was fucking attached at my god damn hip....every day i would log on to like 30 PM's of his crazy ass tirades....then he would go on the forum and start having fits that put fuggs to shame

no....and no

naw boo boo dats old....i seen it.....still fuck it....

really? i hated it more in school than i do now...i mean when youre the only one in school with it...everyone knows you....

ive actually never met someone with my name....i always hear 'oh thats so pretty! thats my nieces/grand child/friend/dogs name

look whos tardy to the party

:D dat gif at the bottom doe

they have one song that i really like....the rest are shit

so is your sense of humor but you didnt see me bitching about it

ive only had to eat hospital food once....i had my tonsils out, then a few days later my throat started to bleed so i have to go back and have it cauterized...so i had to stay the night. the next morning they gave me what they called eggs, toast and a banana....i couldnt fucking eat the toast and the banana given my throat what it was....but they wouldnt let me leave until i ate....

A couple buy a parrot but discovers too late that it’s foul-mouthed and bad-tempered. The bird keeps shouting obscenities so the couple lock it in their outdoor shed to try to shut it up. But it’s no good so they try a cupboard in the house. After 10 minutes the bird starts screaming again. Now the neighbours are getting angry. In desperation the couple shove the parrot in the fridge. Miraculously, the parrot suddenly shuts up. After five minutes they take the parrot out and put it back on its perch. The parrot apologises for its behaviour and asks to be forgiven. “That’s okay,” say the couple, “provided you won’t do it again.” “‘I won’t,” says the parrot, casting a nervous eye at the fridge. “By the way…What did the chicken do?”

i have a boner.....i am so fucking rock hard right now

i have no idea what the fuck youre babbling about...but thats ok....i might be on the big side but at least my ass doesnt look like its trying to fight with the earth over orbital pull with the moon

yeah it split the toe on the side....wont stop bleeeeeeeding

FUCK DAT BITCH

:::

im drinking a big steaming cup of dont give a fuck.....its delicious :D :::

well sonar is man made....echolocation is what mammals use Echolocation – A method used to detect objects by producing a specific sound and listening for its echo. SONAR – Sound Navigation And Ranging, is the process of listening to specific sounds to determine where objects are located

man do you have any of those amazon buttons?

damn really? we have severe storms r n

my coworkers windshield

next time pick a target thats weaker than you