Zenigundam

My name's Zeni, not caffeine!

*Speaking to cops* S-she fell... under the stone... Why oh why must the good die young?!?!

The electoral college is dumb. Popular vote should be all that matters.

Hot dogs in a can. I'm used to Sabrett and Nathan's. This new OKC profile is gonna be <3.

*yawns*

Thinking about whether to drink.

I dunno... I'm a humble guy. I'm sure some HOTTIES are watching me, but I don't pay any attention!

Do NOT call her out on being single because she chose the wrong guy. We all know it, but she'll be really sensitive and block your number if you do. You have to be "chill" about this and pretend like she didn't make a HUGE MISTAKE THAT SHE'LL REGRET BY BLOWING YOU OFF FIVE YEARS AGO!!!! *punches wall repeatedly* Just be "chill", man.

1. DON'T delete her number. (I got pissed one night and made this mistake, and now I'm screwed) 2. Add her on social media (I don't have any of these anymore, so I'm screwed) 3. Wait for her to get back on OkCupid (She made a new profile, but hasn't logged in since last April, so I'm screwed) 4. Approach her in person if you know where she works or goes to school (I don't want to because the Democrats twisted this into "stalking" when it was fine and romantic in Shakespeare's time) 5. Somehow find out someplace she'll be and go there, and then proclaim, "Wow what a coincidence! We went on that date a few years back! What are the chances?" <3

*Gulps* C-c-could you guys go to the sorority for me. I kinda had a traumatic experience at one that involved a mixed drink bowl splashing on my head.

Now you're dissembling.

You need to put my account back in the game. I was talking to multiple girls and probably close to meeting up with them and spending seven minutes in heaven before utz utz utz utz crazy bed sex crazy bed sex, but now if I come at them with a new profile, they'll think I'm some kind of murderer on the run from the FBI, so just do the right thing, bro. I don't want this to go where it could be going... *equips brass knuckles*

Not at all. You didn't even know that the Unevenedge forums were working properly.

Watch it there, buddy. That's my wife you're talking about!

I love bagels, but I'd have to be in the mood. Had sesame and cinnamon raisin this morning! Maybe poppy will be in the cards... big poppi...

You always told me be yourself and it would happen, so now you guys owe me. I'm not in a rush, so take your time, but below is a good template for my league of lady, so find one and fulfill my quest for true <3, and we'll be even!

So if I just crack open one tallboy of 7% alchy just to get buzzed for some online matches, I'll be fine by 10am this morning?

*Steps to you, beer lingering on breath* Know anybody who's up for the task? *cracks knuckles*

I'm close to getting a girlfriend, I just have to make a new OKC profile, but I'm too lazy to do it right now, so once I find out whether alcohol will show up on my drug test tomorrow I'll be able to either watch Forensic Files or drink and play online through the morning. <3

Speaking of Korea, I saw this Korean "roasted seaweed" snack at the checkout aisle of my local supermarket. First time I've EVER seen that! Looked like the shelf was completely full though.

Why'd ya do it? *approaches the OKC mod with badass intentions, coming in full speed, cracking knuckles on the way*

I have a possible full-time job offer on the table, but I need to take a drug test when I fill out forms tomorrow, but I have some pizza and beer here, and I'm tempted to drink and hook up some online play w/ Arkham and GoW III on my PS4, but I won't do it if it shows up on the test!

The one inmate goes to one of the teens, "You think you tough huh? You like to fight huh?" And the teen just glowered at him and said, "Yeah that's right." Then the inmate said, "Fighting in here doesn't get you respect, it gets you **bleep**ed up!"

I slept in the early afternoon and then from around 10:50 to 1:50, so no now I'm no longer tired.

No new visitors in three days despite sending out a ton of messages. Looks like I got shadow banned again.