Skinko

If you're willing to subsist on ramen and honey buns, yes.

Well, you can count on me to consistently not have money. So there's that.

To be my girl?

Well, he sure didn't fall off on purpose. And no, it was the roof. They're tearing apart the roof across the street. Also, what the heck do you mean, "you don't fall from a roof by accident"? What are you talking about? I'm so bewildered by that statement. People fall off roofs all the time. Note: I'm not being sassy, I'm genuinely confused as to what you mean.

Boy, you sure got me by bringing up something I've been very honest about. Good job there, kiddo.

So were you actually asking the question, or were you setting up your own brag, like a douche?

Wouldn't be surprised. I didn't quite see how he landed exactly, but from that height, he's lucky to not be paralyzed, at the very least.

This guy working on a roof across the street fell off. It had to have been a 40-foot fall, and he didn't move at all for like... a while. The other dudes called an ambulance. He was stirring by the time it got there. From his body language, he seemed to be okay, but in a lot of pain.

Nah, just horny, with extremely specific sexual fantasies.

Yeah, it's you. You secret tomboy lesbian.

That's why all the Vegas/Reno mobsters were shooting each other back in the day. They all just wanted to cum.

I mean, if I had to pick a way to die, that sounds like a good one.

Just to watch him cum.

I actually have a pretty decent butt, I must say. Though I am getting thinner, but I don't think I'll ever be lanky again. And I certainly don't have a long torso. I'm five feet tall, nothing about me is long.

You know, I just realized... The joke here was supposed to be that I fit the chubby beard guy category. But I've actually thinned out quite a bit recently, so the joke doesn't really work. <. <

Well, that doesn't help me at all! I mean, uh... my friend. It doesn't help my friend.

You're right, I'm being a bit insensitive. How about broads? Can I call them broads?

Or are slightly chubby guys with bushy beards the hip new thing? Asking for a friend.

Anything by Michael Bolton or Journey, I'm your guy.

Fair enough. I suppose I'm casting too wide of a net here. I retract that statement.

See, now we're onto something. Who doesn't love to watch people publicly fail to accomplish their dreams? That's good stuff.

They aren't teenagers, they're like 10 and 11 years old. I don't think it's unreasonable to question why a grown adult would be into that.

I know. I mentioned that it's been a thing for a long time. But that doesn't explain why it's a thing. I just can't picture the person watching it without a blonde mustache.

Are these people on a special list? Are they legally required to introduce themselves to the neighbors when they move?

Apparently, there are so many Jareds out there who are tuning in, that it's being broadcast on the biggest sports channel in America. Every year. For like, a long time now.