Codename: Jackass

like a few times I stayed up a really long time playing vidya or staring at computers and my eyes hurt the next day

I probably shouldn't have said that because I'll probably get super-cancer when I'm 50 and not be able to afford the "cheap" cancer pills to keep me alive. Assuming they have such a thing as cancer-curing pills by then. Assuming we're even here.

ENJOY IT WHILE YOU GOT IT DON'T END UP LIKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Probably not any more than you already were.

One day I hope to be strongarmed into paying hundreds of dollars a month for medicine to keep me alive.

You'll get used to it, trust me. In a few days you'll use a computer terminal at default color temperature and wonder how the fuck you ever used them that way.

They charge that much because they know that people will pay it. Like paper towels, or coffee, or prescription drugs.

Just change the color temperature to somewhere between 2000 and 3000K or install f.lux, I wouldn't bother with buying glasses. Helps with the eye strain a little.

saw it posted on like /wsg/ or something months back and figured it was on YouTube

Of course he does.

A box of crackers.

Chill out Sammy boy.

It's just a pun man. I'll find one about white people eventually.

For Hispanic attacks.

BERNSTEIN

I wonder if I'll mow through some poison ivy like last year.

It's not whack-off time right now.

He should have kept a lower profile but you fuck with Heidecker and you get the Heidicker. F

smok wedds

I knew you were really Sam.

Yeah

FUCK YEAH DUDE HIGH FIVE

Used to work at a call center with a health insurance company in the building. Saw several people fired on the spot for having a cell phone.

Just guessing but I assume Athena works in a healthcare environment and phones are a breach of HIPAA rules.